Smoked a ricer today

[MattRoberts123]

Well... I was a little cranky this evening, and coming back from a local blockbuster a little rice rocket pulled up next to me at the intersection. It was 2 teenagers, in one of those POS rice racers where the paint is peeling off EVERYWHERE, yet they still think they are REAL hard because they have a spoiler that might help E.T. find his way home and the typical obnoxious exhaust.

Well, typically I won't mess with these guys.. only for the reason that I know their 4 banger imports will beat me just due to size and weight alone.... and I can't stand to give any piece of **** like that the satisfaction of winning, no matter what level.

Well anyways, I started going, and just because I left from a dead stop a second before him... he thought I was trying to race... I thought, WTF. So I reached to turn off the air conditioner and stomped on it... I COULDN'T BELIEVE IT.... I SMOKED HIM. All the way up to 90 he couldn't even keep up with my rear bumper. That exhaust of his was screamin, and he was tryin to show his loser buddy how cool he was... but the fact remains... he got BEAT.. by a stock H2 with 24" wheels and 37" tires. HAHAHAH

I can't believe you could drive a POS like that around, trying to be all showy about how fast and badass your ride is, and a H2 can beat you! This really makes me want to get a supercharger just so I can go around and mess with more of these guys! :dancingbanana:


Anyways, I just got a good laugh outta the whole deal, thought I would share with everyone!

[eugenebeauxbuton]

i bet he went home with his tail between his legs just wondering how the %$# he got his a$$ stomped by your huge HUMMER haha:beerchug:

:jump: :jump:

[Steve - SanJose]

picking your battles:jump:

[ssgharkness020147]

I beat a sebring once. The kid was pissed, and I'm still trying to figure out how the hell I won. :confused:

[HUMMERcustoms.com/TAZ]

The H2 with just some small adjustments and punching the tow/haul button will make the H2 jump with a little quicker step. Dennis calls the tow/haul button His factory supercharger I think it was called. But, He did discover by accident that it changes the tranny shift etc. as it should and made him quicker off the line.

But, pick something like a Vette or a 350Z and it will give a better look at where the H2 rates unless some serious cash is spent on the H2. I bought my 2005 and well of course went right to make it faster, quicker, and well just plain old meaner. My cousin bought a new 2005 Vette not with the upgraded engine but, anyway in a 0 to 60 I left him makin smoke and he never could catch up. I had told him I may could give him a run for his money but, he just laughed at me. I did not tell him I was running around 500HP at the wheels. I did tell him after though. He told me he was never going to take any big rig for granted and especially an H2.

TAZ

[RichS]

:giggling: :perfect10s:

[HummBob]

AWESOME Matt!!!:beerchug:

[frenzy1]

Freakin A bro !!! Where I live there are NO hummers and LOOOOTS of little ricers. They're all scared of my truck, 'cause of its size and looks.

Frenzy
Belgium

[cl998]

I dont get the whole rice burner fad. DO these kids actually think their cars look good? Do they think their cars actually look fast?? I know some of them are "quick" but still why would you get a $5000 car and add $10,000 to it. For the money you could get an decent used Vette or even a Boxter.

[mowdoc]

Well this is not Hummer related but certainly is ricer related.

The truck I had before my Hummer was a Duramax diesel that I had spent a lot of time and money on. Last dyno pull was 612hp/893lbs torque. Anyway - one of my favorite things was when a ricer or low rider was on my right at a stop light with his radio vibrating everything I would turn both chips on high and brake boost to around 3 psi. When the light turned green I would launch hard and fill the little fauker's car with heavy black smoke. I have left many just setting and waiting for the smoke to clear from the interior!!

It was too much fun and if they said anything later I would just tell them I did not care for that song they were playing too loud.

My Hummer does not run anywhere near that level and I don't race much anymore but I sure do enjoy driving it (when the wife lets me).

That brings up another issue - how many of you have lost your Hummer to the wife?? When my wife wanted new wheels in 05 I suggested looking at Hummers and she said no way, too big, and all that crap. So in 06 when I bought my H2 I drove it for 3 or 4 days before she took it to work one day. I only get it now if it needs something like service or gas. I drive HER car and she takes MY Hummer??? That's just wrong - huh??

mowdoc

[H2 OHHH!]

I always seem to get in a bad mood from my local Block Buster as well

[mdoyle]

Ditto on the peeling paint on ricers. It seems like most of those kids have never heard of surface prep and flex additives :giggling:

Most seem to come from the "louder is faster" camp too. Oh well, back when I was in high school in the early 80's, everyone seemed to be running air shocks and cherry bomb exhaust on their Monte Carlos and we thought that was cool.

At least some of them are doing their own wrenching and eventually they'll figure it out after they replace their valvetrain.;)

[KenP]

I don't like ricers. That is all.

I beat a Ford Lightning with our black one. He had a stage two chip, lower pulley, and some other things done. He should have smoked me, but nope! The crowd at the strip went nuts. It's on video somewhere...

But I still don't like ricers.

That brings up another issue - how many of you have lost your Hummer to the wife?? When my wife wanted new wheels in 05 I suggested looking at Hummers and she said no way, too big, and all that crap. So in 06 when I bought my H2 I drove it for 3 or 4 days before she took it to work one day. I only get it now if it needs something like service or gas. I drive HER car and she takes MY Hummer??? That's just wrong - huh??

mowdocI lost our last one for awhile. CP loved rolling around town in Big Nasty... until I took the side steps off...:giggling:

So go get a lift and take the steps off.;)

[DennisAJC]

The H2 with just some small adjustments and punching the tow/haul button will make the H2 jump with a little quicker step. Dennis calls the tow/haul button His factory supercharger I think it was called. But, He did discover by accident that it changes the tranny shift etc. as it should and made him quicker off the line.

TAZ



Yeeeeeees.:jump:

[007hum]

I have an 03 H2 and love it to death.

I also love my 05 EVO MR
all wheel drive and fast as hell

This car corners very fast and has tons of power and is fun to drive.

[timgco]

I bet he went to get his rear wing extensions today and new plastic spinners from WAlmart. He'll beat you next time for sure now!:giggling:

[Fastest H-Town Realtor]

Ricers have a hard time getting beat by a JEEP. One mouthed off about my allegedly having " NAWWWWWWWWWWSSSSSSSSS". I simply explained that his momma wanted her ironing board back off the trunk of his ride. :giggling:

[mikejr]

my favorite saying about the ricers is.....there goes another POS with a loud fart pipe on it......

[Hummer Aficionado_VT]

Rice boxes=:lame: .

[timgco]

I had a nissan 350z for a while. That car was fun!!!!

"RICERS" is suck a broad catagory. you have the POS ones with the big fart pipes. You have the all looks and no go catagory. And than you have the catagory that is just insane!!!!

I lined up with an Elipse against my TL1000R...and almost lost. We were side by side til about 130 and than I barely pulled. INSANE! That was the last time I hammered down like that. There was no wayyyyyy I was going to get beat.

Now it's more fun to swerve at them while in the HUMMER. :D

[Gunzz]

HAHAHA. Way to go. Screamin muffler that usually sound like a wire tie that gets caught in the vacuum. Had to be funny as h**l, when they couldn't catch up. :beerchug:

:jump: :dancingbanana:

[CONRAD II]

HOLY S5 H@! That guy must have been running a .5 cyl. I can beat my h2 sut in the 40 yard dash. I friggan LOVE my truck, but I couldn't beat turtle with a stick up his arse!!! Thats why supercharger TOMORROW!

[MattRoberts123]

HOLY S5 H@! That guy must have been running a .5 cyl. I can beat my h2 sut in the 40 yard dash. I friggan LOVE my truck, but I couldn't beat turtle with a stick up his arse!!! Thats why supercharger TOMORROW!


Is your's really that slow? I had an 05 Tahoe before this, and I honestly think my H2 is faster... granted I do have a corsa exhaust and a hypertech programmer.. but even before... I have always been quite impressed with the performance of my H2 for such a big and heavy vehicle....?

BTW,

Still looking for a magnacharger... so if anyone knows of any deals... send them this way! :)

[The Juice]

The H2 can beat most non-sportscars including econo box ricer rockets like civics. That says alot for a truck that's considered big and heavy.

[HUMMERcustoms.com/TAZ]

Hey 007hum you are talking about a totally different animal in the EVO. This little monster was made from ground up to kick serious behind. AWD puts it all on the ground like the H2 does. It is wound so tight you wonder if it would blow up but, they just will not do it. They are like the Energizer Bunny. After that EVO then You look and see if You can import a right hand drive Skyline and then You got even more monster to run on the road.

Ken if your video is no longer on this forum you need to post that run with the Lighting. You kicked his tail so BAAAAAAD!!!!!! Then the Lighting was wearing out everything else on the track if i remember right but, not the H2.

I got a shot at a VW Golf running 20lbs. of boost with carbon fiber hood. The thing was light as a firefly. We did not get a heads up run but, I pulled out of Dragons parking lot with the VW behind and it was understood we would see if I could pull away. It ended up He could not catch me. He was so light and small I could have fit the VW on the roof of the H2. We did make some individual runs down the road and he said watching me at about 7500lbs. he was impressed and the guys watching said they thought I was faster. Sure seemed to me no question I was faster when i stood and watched his run. So we can make these big monsters run but, if you off road you do not need it all. Just more torque to break something. But, in a Mall Queen hey make it do all I can.

If You got a chance to watch the new ESPN show PIPES You will see Dragon or Bryan Lin my buddy with His shop team Motorsports Authority win the first round drag race running a 2006 350Z. Check the time of shows coming on over the next month or so all the way to the final race left after 12 rides were entered to race. Bryan advances now to 2nd round. I think the winner has a chance to win $40,000. It is an elimination tourney situation and I know how it turns out but, I will not tell. Seriously it is a show done in central Arkansas that ESPN is trying out. The lady host is Arkansas tv talent. Anyway I was proud of Bryan and his guys and wanted to let all know to check the show out. It is going to be allot of import against muscle car races. Check it out as Bryan has been a huge influence as to what we have done to my H2 for shows. He designed the look and electronics on the H2 after I kept asking him can we do this and that. The 12" front dash monitor was my idea and I think Bryan wishs I had not talked Him into that deal. He has had to build a complete center dash and factory stuff that was used to bolt on factory dash had to be cut off. So they got cut before He finished dash for 12" touchscreen so He had no way to back out of building the new custom dash. I know bad but, something had to be done to get him to not be able to back out of the big screen. I have been the one pushing the power end so if it blows up no one to blame but Me.
Anyway it is a good show with a different twist to it than all the others.

TAZ


I have an 03 H2 and love it to death.

I also love my 05 EVO MR
all wheel drive and fast as hell

This car corners very fast and has tons of power and is fun to drive.

[KenP]

The H2 can beat most non-sportscars including econo box ricer rockets like civics. That says alot for a truck that's considered big and heavy.That is very unlike yourself, Juice. Did you forget you were logged on as an AE?:giggling:

[mikejr]

timgco.....i agree with you....there are some very high performance ricers out there...

We always chuckle when some little ricer rides past with a big ole fart pipe....a huge massive wing on the back.... I guess if you add the big wing it is like adding a warp drive to the car....lol

[Humdingah]

While I saw the H2 vs. Lightning video I have to laugh...that guy did a burnout the length of the track that would have made John Force proud. Had he of pedaled it for a minute the spinning would of stopped and it would have been bye-bye H2. Granted a win is a win even if the other guy can't drive but to get all geeked-up about beating a Lightning is funny. That was a one-in-a-million run and no H2, supercharged or otherwise, is going to take a Lightning. With $1,000 in upgrades you have a legitimate 12 second truck and a good number of them have run 9's with a ton of them in the 10's. A 10 second Lightning doesn't even get a second glance anymore as it's pretty common...

And if I were a betting man I'd put my money on the L every time...and I know how fast they are because I have one.

[Mr. I - Man]

timgco.....i agree with you....there are some very high performance ricers out there...

We always chuckle when some little ricer rides past with a big ole fart pipe....a huge massive wing on the back.... I guess if you add the big wing it is like adding a warp drive to the car....lol


Answer me this. How the hell does a rear wing help a front wheel drive car????:confused: I always thought that the down draft of a spoiler was supposed to hold the final drive drive wheels to the pavement for added traction & handling. A rear spolier would only help a rear wheel drive car.

[dеiтайожни]

Those aren't spoilers or wings. They are handles. You use them to push the car around the parking lot, kind of like a shopping cart.

[tazhog54]

I love the ironing board comment:perfect10s: LOL OTF

[HUMMERcustoms.com/TAZ]

Humdingah
I would agree with You on the thought on the L. But, the deal is 95% of the people that own them or any other brand rig do not know how to drive them. I have seen the same results with them being made to look bad and that just upsets me for someone to do that with any ride. Just like my run with my cousins vette. Looking at the book on both rigs the H2 should not have a chance. But, he spun it's fun he lost and I won running about 7lbs. of boost with full time 4x4 and around 500hp. Depending on the odds of a L owner knowing what he is doing I would take the $1000 bet every time. My odds of taking it is real good. Just like any racing getting a win under any conditions is fun even if the other knuckle head does not know what he is doing. I have won with many cars that should not win especially in drag racing. The bad thing is to many people go out and buy the rig ready made for power and speed then make that ride look bad not having a clue how to make it win.

If anyone checks out ESPN PIPES show it is a case of a car winning that should not be winning on a dragstrip. Then what is worse all the guys with their cars are people that know what they are doing except the part of how they should have driven the cars. The car winning is a car that has a good driver making the most with all he can get. But, I do not mean to tell You something You do not know already as You mentioned it in You post about driving skills, so seriously do not take me wrong. I agree with you I just hate people buying stuff that should run and they mess it up. I like taking something like the H2 that should be good for one thing which is off-roading and make it a terror in 1/8 or 1/4 mile or even just a 0 to 60 and soon a 0 to 100 and using the weight of the vehicle to get the HP to the ground instead of the weight being a disadvantage. Now how far I can go with it is yet to be seen but, I love trying to get there that is the fun in the challenge. My health is starting to go south gain so I hope I can get the tune and boost up and dialed in for the the topend mile trap run in fall. I have allot of work when Dragon gets done with custom upgrades. Bad thing is it is adding weight with custom sub box, console and center dash. It is the fun of doing it though. I wonder how many more challenges I'm going to get a shot at even though i just turned 50 I have some battles to fight and win going into summer. If I get to Goliad,TX for The Texas Mile I hope as many as can will come over and hang out as well as be as part of the pit crew. I'm going if I got to drive the rig there by myself instead of having my team to haul it etc.

Well anyway I'm with You Bud on the miss use of the rides. It is nice though You know how to use Your L. For real!!

TAZ

[frenzy1]

Those aren't spoilers or wings. They are handles. You use them to push the car around the parking lot, kind of like a shopping cart.


:jump: :jump:

[mikejr]

I-Man....well i think that your comment is spot on about the spoilers from a engineering stand point. Thats precisely what they are for. To keep the drives wheel in contact with the road.

But just take note of just how many front drive cars have them...ricers, cavaliers...the list goes on for days....i guess its just the "race car look" they are going after and not really any performance reason.

I've seen some ricers with wings that look like a sheet of plywood back there.....when i passed them my vortex nearly blew them off the road....LOL

[GLBLWARMR]

I grew up on muscle cars but after 6 years in Japan I took a liking to ricers. Now when I say ricers I mean the TRUE ricers not the sh!t that we have here in the US. People slap a muffler and maybe a cold air intake on and call it a ricer. What they actually have is car with a different muffler and intake. I owned a couple of R33 Nissan Skylines, 2 Older model Supras. All of which were running at least one turbo and in the case of one of my Supras I was running twin aftermarket turbos. Now the little beast down below was one the fastest cars I have ever owned. It was a 93 RX-7 R1 Special Edition. She was running the 13B rotary engine with stock sequential twin turbos. I had the turbos linked so they were both running all the time instead having one then the second in reserve. This added about 100 horse. Upgraded the intercooler, injectors, exhaust, Apex seals, added a Blitz boost controller, Apexi Air flow converter, Tein Coli Over shocks, a full range of Blitz Carbon Fiber guages, cold air intake and a few other little items and by the time I was done she went from stock 250 hp to just under 475 hp at the rear wheels. Like I said most of the ones in the US are just exhaust so they are all noise and no game.

[HUMMERcustoms.com/TAZ]

Diffenitely agree with GLBLWARMR on the diffierence between the ricers from Japan and USA. I learned most of what I know about ricers from Dragon at Motorsports Authority. That was the passion that moved Him to have His own custom shop and the ricers are the bread and butter. He does run allot of muscle cars through and I got Him into the Hummers. Dragon has a Celica Gt that has never lost a show and runs like it has a rocket in it. He runs a turbo etc. I have asked some of the ricers with wings on front wheel drives and i have been told that if you know what You are doing and buying the correct wing for the car saying the front drive that the rear wing if adjustable does still help in all wheel road contact when handling is needed as in SCCA racing type deal. These will of course have a front spoiler as well. My understanding that adjusting the wing helps with control on front wheel drive if used for the right reason, so i have to just go with guys that i know that run SCCA.
GLBLWARMR I would think would know more having been in Japan.

I absolutely agree though that 99% of the ricers runing around the streets have no reason to have a wing on except for looks.

TAZ

[KenP]

While I saw the H2 vs. Lightning video I have to laugh...that guy did a burnout the length of the track that would have made John Force proud. Had he of pedaled it for a minute the spinning would of stopped and it would have been bye-bye H2. Granted a win is a win even if the other guy can't drive but to get all geeked-up about beating a Lightning is funny. That was a one-in-a-million run and no H2, supercharged or otherwise, is going to take a Lightning. With $1,000 in upgrades you have a legitimate 12 second truck and a good number of them have run 9's with a ton of them in the 10's. A 10 second Lightning doesn't even get a second glance anymore as it's pretty common...

And if I were a betting man I'd put my money on the L every time...and I know how fast they are because I have one.It was hilarious, but you missed all the discussions on other boards where his buddies from here in VA joked the hell out of him. I went on a couple and explained that I knew he should have beaten me, but I was happy they could joke him.:jump:

I want to see Taz's truck on the track!!!!:popcorn: :excited:

[HUMMERcustoms.com/TAZ]

Waiting to finish it up Ken once Dragon is done with His part. I'm going to be pushing it on the ragged edge but, seriously I will be careful. Hummer people tell me not to worry about the bottom end with stock heads still on and maybe bottom will be OK later when i got to better heads with more flow for more boost they said. They just keep telling me that the 6.0L is a tough motor if done right and carefully with a slow step up in power and they like the HPTUNERS software. Plus I will be running a live wideband scan all the time on the big screen in dash as i go so hopefully i do not let something get away from me before i adjust. I want to have fun but, the speed and power addons are to benefit show also once we have all the time slips to go with runs etc. So it is still an on going process. I had hoped really to get it all done last year but, when May came around and they diagnosed me with the wierd epilepsy from the oxygen loss from GI bleed that the Doc seems to make progress and then my body adjust to the meds and we start over. It is really wringing me out. He promises we will get it right soon. I got time till Dragon is done.

I'm going to be working to get it topend fast once I get my hands on it to take it to Texas. Then I will most likely add some 4.56's and retune after. I could do both but, depends on how long it takes for Dragon to get rig back to Me. Supposed to be in another month. I do not want to change the gearing but once anyway and i need to leave the 4.10's in for Texas. I'm not sure yet what I may have to do once I see how much more weight has been added with the fiberglass work etc. inside. Bryan mentioned at least pulling the back sub enclosures out. I checked rules for Texas run and I'm looking at stock class so they said i could not take anything out. I do know in the spring run a stock Tahoe ran 135MPH at the end of the mile trap. I had hoped to be the first SUV there last year but, this rig ran just this past March and I hope to make Oct. runs. I know I can take the speed because I have been there already. Well anyway it is a long way off and allot of stuff to happen yet.

TAZ

[Humdingah]

It was hilarious, but you missed all the discussions on other boards where his buddies from here in VA joked the hell out of him. I went on a couple and explained that I knew he should have beaten me, but I was happy they could joke him.:jump:

I want to see Taz's truck on the track!!!!:popcorn: :excited:
He actually showed up on a few Lightning boards and was harrassed mercilessly!