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View Full Version : Is this bad - Swallow


KenP
02-01-2008, 08:50 PM
With only 13 days to go the wife is sick and tired of the cute little parasite in her belly and wants him out. Now!

What to do, what to do?

Yeah, she's walking and stuff like that and the contractions are happening and all the other junk that goes with it. But what to do to speed it up?

Well guess what, she found some info on the 'net (then it must be true, right?) that says consuming semen after a bj will induce labor. Yep, it encourages giving blowjobs and finishing the deed. Hummmmm...

Needless to say, I've been as supportive as I can of her and her decisions so who am I to step in and tell her it's just an old wives tale? That's just not right. She needs encouragement, you know. Confidence that she's doing the right thing.

In order to do my part, I've been doing my very best to remind her of this process every few hours. I mean, it's tough on me and my unit, so I'm really sacrificing too. I'm sure you all understand. This is a big commitment on my part having to have my pork sword slathered up with mouth juice every few hours. Then having to supply the necessary baby batter. It's tough. Really tough.

What do you think? I believe I'm doing the right thing by not telling her. I'd really hate to upset her.

BKLYNH2
02-01-2008, 08:59 PM
You owe me for putting that site up on the interweb for you. :giggling: :giggling:

Adam in CO
02-01-2008, 09:07 PM
She is going to kill you once she can catch you. I love it.

wpage
02-01-2008, 09:49 PM
You are a cruel dude!

3Hummer
02-01-2008, 10:29 PM
You owe me for putting that site up on the interweb for you. :giggling: :giggling:

are you serious?

KenP
02-01-2008, 11:02 PM
are you serious?
http://i8.photobucket.com/albums/a35/dumbledorexdies/lolinternet.gif

RubHer Yellow Ducky
02-01-2008, 11:34 PM
Two things................

#1... you may NEVER GET LAID AGAIN ,, for the rest of your life

#2... we use to put a collar and leash on a dog due to welp and make them run behind the car (not to fast), it worked pretty good, you may want to try that on her...

NewHummerGuy
02-01-2008, 11:51 PM
Ken....THIS THREAD IS WORTHLESS WITHOUT PICS

:jump: :jump: :jump:

Agriv8r
02-02-2008, 12:50 AM
PLEASE NO PICS....AND withouot photgraphic evidence, i think you are lying......

Big Dad
02-02-2008, 01:31 AM
Man, don't listen to all these guys....that'd be a mistake.

I have 5 kids, so I'm talking from experience.

Yes your findings are correct.

Look, my advice is to calmly explain to her that your alleged findings will prove it'd be in her best interest.

AND, most importantly, at the expense of great personal pain, you being the loving, thoughtful, considerate husband that you are...will go above and beyond to provide the "all you can eat" buffet!

Again, hang tough brother...it might take 4-5 times a day for the next 2 weeks.

Oh yeah, I almost forgot it'll also relieve that dreaded post-partum depression....

KenP
02-02-2008, 02:20 AM
Oh yeah, I almost forgot it'll also relieve that dreaded post-partum depression....Oh damn, man. You mean I have to keep this up AFTER the boy comes?

Well, in support of her, I guess I'll have to do it. Damn, just damn.

Sewie
02-02-2008, 10:04 AM
You could also remind her that if she'd just done that in the first place, she wouldn't be in this position. :D

46407

frenzy1
02-02-2008, 12:10 PM
What speeds things up :

1. black strong coffee
2. a loooooong walk
3. sex, yes sex ! No pics please !!!!
4. a good beating ! :D

KenP
02-02-2008, 04:28 PM
2. a loooooong walkWe were in Sears Thursday night and she was struggling. A security guard even asked if she needed to be wheeled out. :eek:

bparker
02-03-2008, 12:02 AM
ROFL :clapping:

What speeds things up :

1. black strong coffee
2. a loooooong walk
3. sex, yes sex ! No pics please !!!!
4. a good beating ! :D