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-   -   I've got the willies!!! (http://www.elcovaforums.com/forums/showthread.php?t=30096)

KenP 10-01-2007 04:48 AM
I've got the willies!!!
 
I heard a little squeak from the wife as she was walking through the foyer tonight. There was a spider afoot.

For those that don't know, I've got a real problem with the little eight legged creepy-crawlies.

I grabbed a paper towel, because I didn't see the shoes nearby, and approached this nasty thing I know wants to kill me.

I'm not wearing shoes, sandals, or anything. My feet are exposed to this killing machine. I'm sensitive about my feet. I usually always have something on my feet. I'm not happy about this at all.

I approach the thing. It's looking at me. It's not moving, just sitting there ready to strike my defensless feet. Holy crap this is so uncool. I'm such a complete wuss.

I make a half assed attempt to kill it, but fail. A few broken legs won't stop this man eater.

Crap, the wife points out in a high pitched voice the killer is jumping... at ME!

Then, I realized this isn't a killer at all, it's much worse than that. It's the dreaded Brown Recluse and it want's my feet!

I make another girly stab at the flesh eating arachnid jumping around in front of me, but to no avail.

Finally, I summon all my strength, reaching beyond the pansy-ass chills running up my spine, and I smash the creepster. Again and again I press the towel against the monster before me.

I pick the man eater up with the paper towel, nervously shaking like a little boy asking a girl out for his first date.

I squeeze it hard. Then peek at the nasty creature from hell and a leg is twitching! Holy sh!t, it's still alive.

I squeeze harder. Real freaking hard. I ball it up nice and tight and flush it down the toilet. I watch it go down, just to be sure.

Now I'm in the media room, it's dark, except for the TV and the computer screen. Each little thing is causing me to itch, to check myself, to brush my legs.

I have my Crocs on. Maybe I should get a hat.

jmsspratlin 10-01-2007 04:52 AM
Re: I've got the willies!!!
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by KenP
I heard a little squeak from the wife as she was walking through the foyer tonight. There was a spider afoot.

For those that don't know, I've got a real problem with the little eight legged creepy-crawlies.

I grabbed a paper towel, because I didn't see the shoes nearby, and approached this nasty thing I know wants to kill me.

I'm not wearing shoes, sandals, or anything. My feet are exposed to this killing machine. I'm sensitive about my feet. I usually always have something on my feet. I'm not happy about this at all.

I approach the thing. It's looking at me. It's not moving, just sitting there ready to strike my defensless feet. Holy crap this is so uncool. I'm such a complete wuss.

I make a half assed attempt to kill it, but fail. A few broken legs won't stop this man eater.

Crap, the wife points out in a high pitched voice the killer is jumping... at ME!

Then, I realized this isn't a killer at all, it's much worse than that. It's the dreaded Brown Recluse and it want's my feet!

I make another girly stab at the flesh eating arachnid jumping around in front of me, but to no avail.

Finally, I summon all my strength, reaching beyond the pansy-ass chills running up my spine, and I smash the creepster. Again and again I press the towel against the monster before me.

I pick the man eater up with the paper towel, nervously shaking like a little boy asking a girl out for his first date.

I squeeze it hard. Then peek at the nasty creature from hell and a leg is twitching! Holy sh!t, it's still alive.

I squeeze harder. Real freaking hard. I ball it up nice and tight and flush it down the toilet. I watch it go down, just to be sure.

Now I'm in the media room, it's dark, except for the TV and the computer screen. Each little thing is causing me to itch, to check myself, to brush my legs.

I have my Crocs on. Maybe I should get a hat.


Glad your alive, maybe you should have the wife keep watch while you sleep. Maybe you both could sleep in shifts. I'm itching just reading the post. Thanks...Jamie

KenP 10-01-2007 05:09 AM
Re: I've got the willies!!!
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by jmsspratlin
Glad your alive, maybe you should have the wife keep watch while you sleep. Maybe you both could sleep in shifts. I'm itching just reading the post. Thanks...Jamie
You said "itching".:o

jmsspratlin 10-01-2007 05:16 AM
Re: I've got the willies!!!
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by KenP
You said "itching".:o


Yep, the impending dome of something crawling on or around me...hives?

tower 10-01-2007 05:21 AM
Re: I've got the willies!!!
 
Gosh, I'm glad your foot didn't end up like this guy's hand. Those recluses can be nasty little buggers. Note the violin marking giving it its familiar name.

DRTYFN 10-01-2007 06:04 AM
Re: I've got the willies!!!
 
1 Attachment(s)
This is where Brown Recluse really like to hide.
Attachment 43900

Have fun making grumpy tomorrow.:jump:

bparker 10-01-2007 06:24 AM
Re: I've got the willies!!!
 
Thats one of the funniest things I have ever read.. :clapping::jump::beerchug:

jmsspratlin 10-01-2007 06:33 AM
Re: I've got the willies!!!
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by DRTYFN
This is where Brown Recluse really like to hide.
Attachment 43900

Have fun making grumpy tomorrow.:jump:


WOW, thats a big spider

DennisAJC 10-01-2007 07:03 AM
Re: I've got the willies!!!
 
:crying:


For every one you see Ken, there's a hundred more hiding. I'm not kidding you.

Have a good sleep.:jump:

KenP 10-01-2007 07:34 AM
Re: I've got the willies!!!
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by DennisAJC
Have a good sleep.:jump:
And I'm still awake....:o

Me=:OWNED: by a little flesh eating creepy crawly.

What if one bites my pee-pee? Holy crap I'll never sleep tonight.:o

Google Image "Brown Recluse Bite" if you don't know what this little killer can do.:crying:

DennisAJC 10-01-2007 10:03 AM
Re: I've got the willies!!!
 
I'd be more worried of it burrowing in your ear and laying eggs in your brain.:clapping:


Try and get some sleep. :D

h2co-pilot 10-01-2007 10:11 AM
Re: I've got the willies!!!
 
Whelp, I'm up.:mad: I couldn't sleep either. I tossed and turned all night. I know it's babies are in here and they want to hurt me. It took me three steps and a leap to get over here on the couch downstairs.

I'm afraid to tinkle because I know there is one hiding in the toilet and it wants to bite my hiney.:(

3Hummer 10-01-2007 01:06 PM
Re: I've got the willies!!!
 
KenP you should be a short story writer, i was scared just reading about that hahahahahaha. Last night i was on the computer much to my suprise suddenly running up the wall as i was enjoying my nightly popcorn, and cup of hot tea, an albino colored lizard ran up the wall right next me it was huge that was creppy too. But your story is more intense

BKLYNH2 10-01-2007 01:52 PM
Re: I've got the willies!!!
 
Just remember spiders never forget. You probably killed some spiders baby. :giggling:

RubHer Yellow Ducky 10-01-2007 01:56 PM
Re: I've got the willies!!!
 
Deep Fried with Kosher Salt...em em GOOD !!!

maybe Ranch Dressing also...

jmsspratlin 10-01-2007 02:11 PM
Re: I've got the willies!!!
 
:popcorn:

DURAMAX TIM 10-01-2007 04:49 PM
Re: I've got the willies!!!
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by h2co-pilot
I'm afraid to tinkle because I know there is one hiding in the toilet and it wants to bite my hiney.:(

When we were camping in New Mexico, we'd always take a stick and run it around and under to seat in the outhouses. They love to hide under the seat and munch on soft white flesh.

So just use a stick and clean the seat before tinkling :jump:

Agriv8r 10-01-2007 06:14 PM
Re: I've got the willies!!!
 
just sell up and move somewhere else.....

mikejr 10-01-2007 06:27 PM
Re: I've got the willies!!!
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by KenP
And I'm still awake....:o

Me=:OWNED: by a little flesh eating creepy crawly.

What if one bites my pee-pee? Holy crap I'll never sleep tonight.:o

Google Image "Brown Recluse Bite" if you don't know what this little killer can do.:crying:

12 GA shotgun with buckshot will protect you from the recluse...any signs of it, point in direction pull trigger...anything in the area will be destroyed including the spider.....I dont know if we have them around here, but I do know we have those big hairy wolf spiders...always hiding in the wood pile....ICK!

h2co-pilot 10-01-2007 06:39 PM
Re: I've got the willies!!!
 
:D I'm still freaked out. And Ken may have been thinking those things but he was all...."I got it".


So now I feel my safety is even more compromised.:giggling:

We have wolf Spiders too.:( Anyone remember this?:D

http://www.elcovaforums.com/forums/s...ad.php?t=21259

RubHer Yellow Ducky 10-01-2007 06:54 PM
Re: I've got the willies!!!
 
Its all HOKUS POKUS !!!

CO Hummer 10-01-2007 07:22 PM
Re: I've got the willies!!!
 
Ken,
We don't have bugs in Colorado. That is all.

KenP 10-02-2007 05:56 AM
Re: I've got the willies!!!
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by mikejr
I dont know if we have them around here, but I do know we have those big hairy wolf spiders...always hiding in the wood pile....ICK!
Ever step on a Wolf Spider and keep watching it? Every now and then you get a female carrying, hell I don't know, hundreds of babies that all of a sudden go scrambling away from dead mama.

That's some nasty sh!t right there. Have spray ready.

COHummer, I know. Believe me, I know.....

DRTYFN 10-02-2007 06:44 AM
Re: I've got the willies!!!
 
4 Attachment(s)
These will help younotsleep.:giggling:
Attachment 43919

Attachment 43920

Attachment 43921

Attachment 43922

tower 10-02-2007 08:39 AM
Re: I've got the willies!!!
 
1 Attachment(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by h2co-pilot
Whelp, I'm up.:mad: I couldn't sleep either. I tossed and turned all night. I know it's babies are in here and they want to hurt me. It took me three steps and a leap to get over here on the couch downstairs.

I'm afraid to tinkle because I know there is one hiding in the toilet and it wants to bite my hiney.:(
But they like to hide in the cracks between the cushions.
Quote:
Originally Posted by KenP
And I'm still awake....:o

Me=:OWNED: by a little flesh eating creepy crawly.

What if one bites my pee-pee? Holy crap I'll never sleep tonight.:o

Google Image "Brown Recluse Bite" if you don't know what this little killer can do.:crying:
That's no Pee-pee!

tower 10-02-2007 08:44 AM
Re: I've got the willies!!!
 
1 Attachment(s)
This is a pee-pee! (Well, at least a dick.)

h2co-pilot 10-02-2007 11:32 AM
Re: I've got the willies!!!
 
I knew I could count on you guys.

3Hummer 10-02-2007 12:37 PM
Re: I've got the willies!!!
 
down here in Florida, at least for me, giant big scary spiders arent so much of a spider. For me the annoying ones are cocroaches

RubHer Yellow Ducky 10-02-2007 01:17 PM
Re: I've got the willies!!!
 
[quote=3Hummer]down here in Florida, at least for me, giant big scary spiders arent so much of a spider. For me the annoying ones are cocroaches[/quote]

and spell-checkers !!!

tower 10-02-2007 05:39 PM
Re: I've got the willies!!!
 
[quote=RubHer Yellow Ducky]
Quote:
Originally Posted by 3Hummer
down here in Florida, at least for me, giant big scary spiders arent so much of a spider. For me the annoying ones are cocroaches[/quote]

and spell-checkers !!!
and grammar/syntax checkers

tower 10-02-2007 05:42 PM
Re: I've got the willies!!!
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by h2co-pilot
:D I'm still freaked out. And Ken may have been thinking those things but he was all...."I got it".


So now I feel my safety is even more compromised.:giggling:

We have wolf Spiders too.:( Anyone remember this?:D

http://www.elcovaforums.com/forums/s...ad.php?t=21259
I checked that thread, but I thought Kenny already pickled your eggs! :confused::confused::confused:

DRTYFN 06-25-2010 04:25 AM
Re: I've got the willies!!!
 
:giggling:

3Hummer 06-25-2010 05:33 AM
Re: I've got the willies!!!
 
DRTYFN way to bring up an extremely old thread haha

ssgharkness020147 06-25-2010 07:38 AM
Re: I've got the willies!!!
 
Tower... Now there's a fag I don't miss.


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