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-   -   Everyone's horoscope (http://www.elcovaforums.com/forums/showthread.php?t=13032)

TootsSUT 11-06-2005 03:08 AM

The bold truth of it:

Aquarius (Jan 23 - Feb 22) You have an inventive mind and are inclined to be progressive. You lie a great deal. You make the same mistakes repeatedly because you are stupid. Everyone thinks you are a fawking
jerk.

Pisces (Feb 23 - Mar 22) You are a pioneer type and think most people are dickheads. You are quick to reprimand, impatient and full of advice. You do nothing but piss-off everyone that you come in contact
with. You are a prick.

Aries (Mar 23 - April 22) You have a wild imagination and often think you are being followed by the FBI or CIA. You have major influence on your friends and people resent you for flaunting your power. You lack confidence but are still a general bad ass.

Taurus (April 23 - May 22) You are practical and
persistent. You have a dogged determination and work like hell. Most people think you are stubborn and bullheaded. You are nothing but a goddamed communist.

Gemini (May 23 - June 22) You are a quick and
intelligent thinker. People like you because you are bisexual. You are inclined to expect too much for too little. This means you are a cheap bastard. Geminis are notorious for thriving on incest.

Cancer (June 23 - July 22) You are sympathetic and understanding to other people's problems, which makesyou a sucker. You are always putting things off. That is why you will always be on welfare and won't be worth a sh*t. Everyone in prison is a Cancer.

Leo (July 23 - Aug 22) You consider yourself a born leader. Others think you are an idiot. Most leos are bullies. You are vain and cannot tolerate criticism. Your arrogance is disgusting. Leo people are thieving motherfawkers and enjoy masturbation more than sex.

Virgo (Aug 23 - Sept 22) You are a logical type and hate disorder. Your sh*t-picking attitude is sickening to your friends and co-workers. You are cold and unemotional and often fall asleep while fawking. Virgos make good pimps.

Libra (Sept 23 - Oct 22) You are the artistic type and have a difficult time dealing with reality. If you are a male you are probably queer. Chances for employment and monetary gain are nill. Most Libra women are whores. All Libras die of venereal disease.

Scorpio (Oct 23 - Nov 22) You are the worst of the lot. You are shrewd in business and cannot be trusted. You shall achieve the pinnacle of success because of your total lack of ethics. You are the perfect son-of-a-bitch. Most Scorpios are murdered.


Sagittarius (Nov 23 - Dec 22) You are optimistic and enthusiastic. You have a reckless tendency to rely on your luck since you have no talent. The majority of Sagittarians are drunks. You are a worthless piece of sh*t.


Capricorn (Dec 23 - Jan 22) You are conservative and afraid of taking risks. You are basically chickensh*t. There has never been a Capricorn of any importance. You should kill yourself.

TootsSUT 11-06-2005 03:08 AM

The bold truth of it:

Aquarius (Jan 23 - Feb 22) You have an inventive mind and are inclined to be progressive. You lie a great deal. You make the same mistakes repeatedly because you are stupid. Everyone thinks you are a fawking
jerk.

Pisces (Feb 23 - Mar 22) You are a pioneer type and think most people are dickheads. You are quick to reprimand, impatient and full of advice. You do nothing but piss-off everyone that you come in contact
with. You are a prick.

Aries (Mar 23 - April 22) You have a wild imagination and often think you are being followed by the FBI or CIA. You have major influence on your friends and people resent you for flaunting your power. You lack confidence but are still a general bad ass.

Taurus (April 23 - May 22) You are practical and
persistent. You have a dogged determination and work like hell. Most people think you are stubborn and bullheaded. You are nothing but a goddamed communist.

Gemini (May 23 - June 22) You are a quick and
intelligent thinker. People like you because you are bisexual. You are inclined to expect too much for too little. This means you are a cheap bastard. Geminis are notorious for thriving on incest.

Cancer (June 23 - July 22) You are sympathetic and understanding to other people's problems, which makesyou a sucker. You are always putting things off. That is why you will always be on welfare and won't be worth a sh*t. Everyone in prison is a Cancer.

Leo (July 23 - Aug 22) You consider yourself a born leader. Others think you are an idiot. Most leos are bullies. You are vain and cannot tolerate criticism. Your arrogance is disgusting. Leo people are thieving motherfawkers and enjoy masturbation more than sex.

Virgo (Aug 23 - Sept 22) You are a logical type and hate disorder. Your sh*t-picking attitude is sickening to your friends and co-workers. You are cold and unemotional and often fall asleep while fawking. Virgos make good pimps.

Libra (Sept 23 - Oct 22) You are the artistic type and have a difficult time dealing with reality. If you are a male you are probably queer. Chances for employment and monetary gain are nill. Most Libra women are whores. All Libras die of venereal disease.

Scorpio (Oct 23 - Nov 22) You are the worst of the lot. You are shrewd in business and cannot be trusted. You shall achieve the pinnacle of success because of your total lack of ethics. You are the perfect son-of-a-bitch. Most Scorpios are murdered.


Sagittarius (Nov 23 - Dec 22) You are optimistic and enthusiastic. You have a reckless tendency to rely on your luck since you have no talent. The majority of Sagittarians are drunks. You are a worthless piece of sh*t.


Capricorn (Dec 23 - Jan 22) You are conservative and afraid of taking risks. You are basically chickensh*t. There has never been a Capricorn of any importance. You should kill yourself.

alldunn 11-06-2005 03:40 AM

<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">Originally posted by Tootsie:
The bold truth of it:

Taurus (April 23 - May 22) You are practical and
persistent. You have a dogged determination and work like hell. Most people think you are stubborn and bullheaded. You are nothing but a goddamed communist.
</div></BLOCKQUOTE>

Yep, pretty much sums it up for me.

Bondage 11-06-2005 03:45 AM

[quote]Originally posted by Tootsie:
The bold truth of it:

Sagittarius (Nov 23 - Dec 22) You are optimistic and enthusiastic. You have a reckless tendency to rely on your luck since you have no talent. The majority of Sagittarians are drunks. You are a worthless piece of sh*t.

QUOTE]


Ummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm...yeah, I guess so.

Sean

DRTYFN 11-06-2005 04:22 AM

<span class="ev_code_BLUE">REPOST</span>

TootsSUT 11-07-2005 02:32 AM

Oops.

ShaggyX 11-07-2005 12:15 PM

<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">Originally posted by Tootsie:
The bold truth of it:

Gemini (May 23 - June 22) You are a quick and
intelligent thinker. People like you because you are bisexual. You are inclined to expect too much for too little. This means you are a cheap bastard. Geminis are notorious for thriving on incest.
</div></BLOCKQUOTE>I think the dates are off. I was born May 22nd, and it has always been Gemini...never seen Taurus go past the 21st.

BTW...That is funny stuff, and it is new to me...so that's all that matters.

TootsSUT 11-07-2005 03:39 PM

As long as I can please you, Shag, that's all that matters! I think you're right on the dates. ANNOUNCEMENT: Everyone back it up one day!

DRTYFN 11-07-2005 04:00 PM

<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">Originally posted by ShaggyZr2:
I think the dates are off. I was born May 22nd, and it has always been Gemini...never seen Taurus go past the 21st.

BTW...That is funny stuff, and it is new to me...so that's all that matters. </div></BLOCKQUOTE>

Gemini...? 2-sided. That makes sense.

h2co-pilot 11-07-2005 04:03 PM

<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">Originally posted by DRTYFN:
<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">Originally posted by ShaggyZr2:
I think the dates are off. I was born May 22nd, and it has always been Gemini...never seen Taurus go past the 21st.

BTW...That is funny stuff, and it is new to me...so that's all that matters. </div></BLOCKQUOTE>

Gemini...? 2-sided. That makes sense. </div></BLOCKQUOTE>


In the personality sense or the dimensional sense.

ShaggyX 11-07-2005 04:12 PM

<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">Originally posted by h2co-pilot:
<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">Originally posted by DRTYFN:
<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">Originally posted by ShaggyZr2:
I think the dates are off. I was born May 22nd, and it has always been Gemini...never seen Taurus go past the 21st.

BTW...That is funny stuff, and it is new to me...so that's all that matters. </div></BLOCKQUOTE>

Gemini...? 2-sided. That makes sense. </div></BLOCKQUOTE>


In the personality sense or the dimensional sense. </div></BLOCKQUOTE>Both.

DRTYFN 11-07-2005 04:20 PM

<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">Originally posted by h2co-pilot:
<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">Originally posted by DRTYFN:
<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">Originally posted by ShaggyZr2:
I think the dates are off. I was born May 22nd, and it has always been Gemini...never seen Taurus go past the 21st.

BTW...That is funny stuff, and it is new to me...so that's all that matters. </div></BLOCKQUOTE>

Gemini...? 2-sided. That makes sense. </div></BLOCKQUOTE>


In the personality sense or the dimensional sense. </div></BLOCKQUOTE>

Not in the spatial sense. If Shag turns sideways he disappears.

HIHUMMER 11-07-2005 04:24 PM

<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">Scorpio (Oct 23 - Nov 22) You are the worst of the lot. You are shrewd in business and cannot be trusted. You shall achieve the pinnacle of success because of your total lack of ethics. You are the perfect son-of-a-bitch. Most Scorpios are murdered. </div></BLOCKQUOTE>


Geez...talk about a pick me up!Guess I should update my will. Who wants my H3?

HummerNewbie 11-07-2005 05:34 PM

<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">Originally posted by HIHUMMER:
Who wants my H3? </div></BLOCKQUOTE>

Sign me up!

H2Blondie 11-08-2005 01:19 AM

<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">Originally posted by HIHUMMER:
<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">Scorpio (Oct 23 - Nov 22) You are the worst of the lot. You are shrewd in business and cannot be trusted. You shall achieve the pinnacle of success because of your total lack of ethics. You are the perfect son-of-a-bitch. Most Scorpios are murdered. </div></BLOCKQUOTE>

Geez...talk about a pick me up!Guess I should update my will. Who wants my H3? </div></BLOCKQUOTE>

I've got to update mine too...I would hate for my ex to end up with the "Black Beauty"!

VTSTOMPER 11-08-2005 02:13 PM

ghey


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