A man escapes from a prison where he's been locked up for 15
years. He breaks into a house to look for money and guns. Inside, he
finds a
young couple in bed. He orders the guy out of bed and ties him
to a chair.
While tying the homeowner's wife to the bed, the convict gets on
top of her, kisses her neck, then gets up and goes into the bathroom.
While he is in there, the husband whispers over to his wife:
Listen, this guy is an escaped convict. Look at his clothes! He has
probably spent a lot of time in jail and hasn't seen a woman in years. I
saw how he kissed your neck. If he wants sex, don't resist, don't
complain... do whatever he tells you. Satisfy him no matter how much he
nauseates you. This guy is obviously very dangerous. If he gets angry,
he could kill us both. Be strong, honey I love you!"
His wife responds: "He wasn't kissing my neck. He was whispering
in my ear. He told me that he's gay, thinks you're cute, and asked if we
had any Vaseline. I told him it was in the bathroom.
Be strong honey.....I love you, too

LOL, heard it before but it's still funny

Good twisted joke/story.

OUCH!
Turn about's fair play.
LOL