I've got the willies!!!
 

I heard a little squeak from the wife as she was walking through the foyer tonight. There was a spider afoot.

For those that don't know, I've got a real problem with the little eight legged creepy-crawlies.

I grabbed a paper towel, because I didn't see the shoes nearby, and approached this nasty thing I know wants to kill me.

I'm not wearing shoes, sandals, or anything. My feet are exposed to this killing machine. I'm sensitive about my feet. I usually always have something on my feet. I'm not happy about this at all.

I approach the thing. It's looking at me. It's not moving, just sitting there ready to strike my defensless feet. Holy crap this is so uncool. I'm such a complete wuss.

I make a half assed attempt to kill it, but fail. A few broken legs won't stop this man eater.

Crap, the wife points out in a high pitched voice the killer is jumping... at ME!

Then, I realized this isn't a killer at all, it's much worse than that. It's the dreaded Brown Recluse and it want's my feet!

I make another girly stab at the flesh eating arachnid jumping around in front of me, but to no avail.

Finally, I summon all my strength, reaching beyond the pansy-ass chills running up my spine, and I smash the creepster. Again and again I press the towel against the monster before me.

I pick the man eater up with the paper towel, nervously shaking like a little boy asking a girl out for his first date.

I squeeze it hard. Then peek at the nasty creature from hell and a leg is twitching! Holy sh!t, it's still alive.

I squeeze harder. Real freaking hard. I ball it up nice and tight and flush it down the toilet. I watch it go down, just to be sure.

Now I'm in the media room, it's dark, except for the TV and the computer screen. Each little thing is causing me to itch, to check myself, to brush my legs.

I have my Crocs on. Maybe I should get a hat.

Re: I've got the willies!!!
 

Glad your alive, maybe you should have the wife keep watch while you sleep. Maybe you both could sleep in shifts. I'm itching just reading the post. Thanks...Jamie

Re: I've got the willies!!!
 

You said "itching".:o

Re: I've got the willies!!!
 

Yep, the impending dome of something crawling on or around me...hives?

Re: I've got the willies!!!
 

Re: I've got the willies!!!
 

This is where Brown Recluse really like to hide.
Attachment 43900

Have fun making grumpy tomorrow.:jump:

Re: I've got the willies!!!
 

Thats one of the funniest things I have ever read.. :clapping::jump::beerchug:

Re: I've got the willies!!!
 

WOW, thats a big spider

Re: I've got the willies!!!
 

:crying:


For every one you see Ken, there's a hundred more hiding. I'm not kidding you.

Have a good sleep.:jump:

Re: I've got the willies!!!
 

And I'm still awake....:o

Me=:OWNED: by a little flesh eating creepy crawly.

What if one bites my pee-pee? Holy crap I'll never sleep tonight.:o

Google Image "Brown Recluse Bite" if you don't know what this little killer can do.:crying:

Re: I've got the willies!!!
 

I'd be more worried of it burrowing in your ear and laying eggs in your brain.:clapping:


Try and get some sleep. :D

Re: I've got the willies!!!
 

Whelp, I'm up.:mad: I couldn't sleep either. I tossed and turned all night. I know it's babies are in here and they want to hurt me. It took me three steps and a leap to get over here on the couch downstairs.

I'm afraid to tinkle because I know there is one hiding in the toilet and it wants to bite my hiney.:(

Re: I've got the willies!!!
 

KenP you should be a short story writer, i was scared just reading about that hahahahahaha. Last night i was on the computer much to my suprise suddenly running up the wall as i was enjoying my nightly popcorn, and cup of hot tea, an albino colored lizard ran up the wall right next me it was huge that was creppy too. But your story is more intense

Re: I've got the willies!!!
 

Just remember spiders never forget. You probably killed some spiders baby. :giggling:

Re: I've got the willies!!!
 

Deep Fried with Kosher Salt...em em GOOD !!!

maybe Ranch Dressing also...

Re: I've got the willies!!!
 

:popcorn:

Re: I've got the willies!!!
 

When we were camping in New Mexico, we'd always take a stick and run it around and under to seat in the outhouses. They love to hide under the seat and munch on soft white flesh.

So just use a stick and clean the seat before tinkling :jump:

Re: I've got the willies!!!
 

just sell up and move somewhere else.....

Re: I've got the willies!!!
 

12 GA shotgun with buckshot will protect you from the recluse...any signs of it, point in direction pull trigger...anything in the area will be destroyed including the spider.....I dont know if we have them around here, but I do know we have those big hairy wolf spiders...always hiding in the wood pile....ICK!

Re: I've got the willies!!!
 

:D I'm still freaked out. And Ken may have been thinking those things but he was all...."I got it".


So now I feel my safety is even more compromised.:giggling:

We have wolf Spiders too.:( Anyone remember this?:D

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