Hummer Forums by Elcova - lil johnny at it again

Little Johnny and Susie are only 10 years old, but they just know that they are in love.

One day they decide that they want to get married, so Johnny goes to Susie's father to ask him for her hand. Johnny bravely walks up to him and says "Mr. Smith, me and Susie are in love and I want to ask you for her hand in marriage."

Thinking that this was the cutest thing, Mr. Smith replies, "Well Johnny, you are only 10. Where will you two live?"

Without even taking a moment to think about it, Johnny replies "In Susie's room. It's bigger than mine and we can both fit there nicely."

Still thinking this is just adorable, Mr. Smith says with a huge grin, "Okay then how will you live? You're not old enough to get a job. You'll need to support Susie."

Again, Johnny instantly replies, "Our allowance - Susie makes 5 bucks a week and I make 10 bucks a week. That's about 60 bucks a month, and that should do us just fine."

By this time Mr. Smith is a little shocked that Johnny has put so much thought into this. So, he thinks for a moment trying to come up with something that Johnny won't have an answer to. After a second, Mr. Smith says, "Well Johnny, it seems like you have got everything all figured out. I just have one more question for you. What will you do if the two of you should have little ones of your own?"

Johnny just shrugs his shoulders and says, "Well, we've been lucky so far."

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The teacher told her class the word of the day was "dictate" and asks who could spell it.
Johnny raises his hand and he says d-i-k-t-a-t-e-.
Teacher says sorry that's wrong and calls on Betty.
Betty says d-i-c-k-t-a-t-e.
Sorry says the teacher, that's not right.
She calls on Darla and Darla says d-i-c-t-a-t-e.
Very good Darla, says the teacher, that's correct.
Now, says the teacher, who can use this word in a sentence?
Johnny raises his hand I know-I know, he says.
OK says the teacher, please use the word Johnnie.
Johnny says: How did my dictate last night, Darla?

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A young female teacher was giving an assignment to her Grade 6 class one day. It was a large assignment so she started writing high up on the chalkboard. Suddenly there was a giggle from one of the boys in the class.
She quickly turned and asked, "What's so funny Pat?"
"Well teacher, I just saw one of your garters."
"Get out of my classroom," she yells, "I don't want to see you for three days."
The teacher turns back to the chalkboard. Realizing she had forgotten to title the assignment; she reaches to the very top of the chalkboard. Suddenly there is an even louder giggle from another male student. She quickly turns and asks, "What's so funny Billy?"
"Well miss, I just saw both of your garters."
Again she yells, "Get out of my classroom!" This time the punishment is more severe, "I don't want to see you for three weeks."
Embarrassed and frustrated, she drops the eraser when she turns around again. So she bends over to pick it up. This time there is an burst of laughter from another male student. She quickly turns to see Little Johnny leaving the classroom.
"Where do you think you are going?" she asks.
"Well teacher, from what I just saw, my school days are over."

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Lil' Johnny is in school and the teacher is having children make sentences out of words..she gives a few examples and the kids participate..She gives the word "fascinate"...johnnny like really wants to get picked bad on this one..Teach says ok go ahead..."My sister she has really big tits..She got this blouse for Xmas and it has 10 buttons on it..but she could only fasten eight..

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Little Johnny is sitting, being his cool self in the local park. Along comes Suzi chomping on her piece of gum.
"Hey Johnny, wanna play doctor?"
Johnny lets out a puff of smoke, "Nah, that's too old fashioned."
Johnny takes another drag, "Spit out your gum, I wanna play President."