To Gorton and Hummer Destroyer and the other pathetic little troll-like creatures out there, I am INVITING you to please respond here.

Just what is lacking in your sad little lives that has you reaching some sort of gratification by bashing other people's happiness?

Can a mass of metal, glass and gas really anger you this much? Have you sought therapy for this?

Have you nothing better to do with your time? Nothing more constructive?

Do you really think that tossing in an occasional word you learned on a little "Increase your vocabulary" cassette tape makes you sound more intelligent?

For what it's worth, I find you amusing. In a pathetic kind of way, but amusing nonetheless.


Now PLEASE, rant and rave and justify your sickness and sadness. I need a laugh.

Scott '03 H2 Black Adv. Pkg. w/10"DVD

To Gorton and Hummer Destroyer and the other pathetic little troll-like creatures out there, I am INVITING you to please respond here.

Just what is lacking in your sad little lives that has you reaching some sort of gratification by bashing other people's happiness?

Can a mass of metal, glass and gas really anger you this much? Have you sought therapy for this?

Have you nothing better to do with your time? Nothing more constructive?

Do you really think that tossing in an occasional word you learned on a little "Increase your vocabulary" cassette tape makes you sound more intelligent?

For what it's worth, I find you amusing. In a pathetic kind of way, but amusing nonetheless.


Now PLEASE, rant and rave and justify your sickness and sadness. I need a laugh.

Scott '03 H2 Black Adv. Pkg. w/10"DVD

There is a Scotsman and an American walking through the Highlands of Scotland - they stumble across a sheep with its head stuck in a fence.

"Whey hey - too good an oppurtunity to miss" says the Scotsman.

So he whips the kilt to one side and shags the sheep.

"Your turn Yank" he says when he is finished.

The American sticks his head in the fence.

Is that funny enough.

.

Oh look, Gorton got his period.

<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">Originally posted by Andy C H2 hasbeen:
There is a Scotsman and an American walking through the Highlands of Scotland - they stumble across a sheep with its head stuck in a fence.

"Whey hey - too good an oppurtunity to miss" says the Scotsman.

So he whips the kilt to one side and shags the sheep.

"Your turn Yank" he says when he is finished.

The American sticks his head in the fence.

Is that funny enough. </div></BLOCKQUOTE>
________________________________________

You haved to be Scottish? I'll send another female/male joke this way just for you!

<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">Originally posted by h2co-pilot:
Oh look, Gorton got his period. </div></BLOCKQUOTE>

Buggar I was just about to say that.

<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">Originally posted by h2co-pilot:
Oh look, Gorton got his period. </div></BLOCKQUOTE>

OH DAMN! I almost passed out from laughing on that comment!

Here's for Andy: Female/Male Prayer

Female Prayer:

Before I lay me down to sleep, I pray for a man, who's not a creep,
One who's handsome, smart and strong
One who loves to listen long,
One who thinks before he speaks,
One who'll call, not wait for weeks.
I pray he's gainfully employed, when I spend his cash, won't be annoyed.
Pulls out my chair and opens my door,
Massages my back and begs to do more.
Oh! Send me a man who'll make love to my mind,
Knows what to answer to "How big is my behind?"
I pray that this man will love me to no end,
and always be my very best friend. Amen.

Male Prayer:

I pray for a deaf-mute nymphomaniac with big tits who owns a liquor store and a Hummer. This doesn't rhyme and I don't give a f**k. Amen.

There is this really drunk guy standing at a bar - he turns to the person next to him and says

"Hey have you heard my dumb blonde joke"

The woman he is talking to sneers at him and says

"You probably have no idea who I am - I am the American womens wrestling champion and I am blonde, and over there at the end of the bar is my good friend the European womens kick boxing champion - and she is also blonde, and sitting next to her is our good friend from russia - she happens to be the world womens middle weight boxing champion who is here in this country to defend her title tomorrow night - and in case it escaped your attention she is blonde also - so would you care to tell your dumb blonde joke now *******"

He looks at her and says "Nah - not if I have to explain it three times"

This has certainly turned in to the joke forum!! Oh, but what fun! I'll come up with another, promise!

There's this hunter that goes up in to the mountains to kill his first bear. He's looking around and finally sees the biggest, most beautiful bear standing perfectly still in the clearing. He hides behind a bush, loads his gun, aims and fires. A huge cloud of smoke appears as he fires and he's looking and looking to see if he got him. Finally the smoke clears and there is no bear. He can't believe it. All of a sudden he feels several taps on his shoulder and slowly turns around. Damn be it, there's the bear. The bear points at his pants as if to pull them down. The hunter pulls his pants down in fear of the bear killing him and the bear grabs him by the shoulders and bam, bam, bam, does him from behind. The bear calmy leaves.

This hunter is pissed off. He recovers and starts looking for the bear again certain this time he is going to teach this bear a lesson. He spots him. He hides, shoots, big cloud of smoke, no bear. All of sudden he feels several taps on his shoulder. Without anything even mentioned he pulls his pants down and bam, bam, bam, the bear does him from behind and leaves.

Now he is really pissed off. He goes down to town and picks up the biggest gun you have ever seen, goes back up and waits patiently thinking he's gonna get this bear for sure. He spots him, he shoots, big cloud of smoke, no bear. Once again, the hunter feels a tap, tap, tap on his shoulder. He turns around as the bear finally speaks and, with a big grin, says "you're not here for the hunting, are you?"

OK here we go

There is a Scottish truck driver – well he gets sick and tired of the rat race – so he sells his truck and buys a little ranch in the middle of nowhere in Texas.

He sits there for three months gazing out over the prairie.

“Buggar this is boring” he thinks to himself.

Suddenly in the distance he sees a dust cloud coming over the horizon – ten minutes later a cowboy looking fella rides up on a horse.

“Howdy” says the fella on the horse “I’m your nearest neighbor – just thought I would come over and be neighborly”.

The Scotsman is delighted – “ Christ I’ve nae seen a soul for three months – yer more than welcome me old mate”

“Well to welcome you to the area I have come over to invite you to a party at my place on Saturday night” says the cowboy.

“But there are three things I need to warn you about my parties” says the Cowboy.

“First – there is a hell of a lot of drinking”

“Nae problem to me” says the Scotsman.

“Second – there is a hell of a lot of fighting”

“I was born fighting” says the Scotsman.

“Third – there is a hell of a lot of sex”

“I’ve been alone here for three months – don’t worry about me” says the Scotsman.

“Excellent – I’ll see you Saturday night at seven then” says the Cowboy as he gets back on his horse to ride off.

“Aye – just one question before ye go – what should I wear to this party” says the Scotsman.

The cowboy looks at him and says “Hell I don’t give a **** – there’s only going to be the two of us”.

Oh and by the way - Lighten up MrD - if it wasnt for Trolls we would only be discussing where to keep loose change in the bloody things.

Okay, that one was a good one!! Gotta go spend time w/ the family. See ya tomorrow!

<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">Originally posted by Mrs. Desert Fox:
Here's for Andy: Female/Male Prayer

Female Prayer:

Before I lay me down to sleep, I pray for a man, who's not a creep,
One who's handsome, smart and strong
One who loves to listen long,
One who thinks before he speaks,
One who'll call, not wait for weeks.
I pray he's gainfully employed, when I spend his cash, won't be annoyed.
Pulls out my chair and opens my door,
Massages my back and begs to do more.
Oh! Send me a man who'll make love to my mind,
Knows what to answer to "How big is my behind?"
I pray that this man will love me to no end,
and always be my very best friend.
And if he should get frisky at night,
Please don't let him glue-stick my eyes shut tight. Amen.

Male Prayer:

I pray for a deaf-mute nymphomaniac with big tits who owns a liquor store and a Hummer. This doesn't rhyme and I don't give a f**k. Amen. </div></BLOCKQUOTE>


Fixed

<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">I pray for a deaf-mute nymphomaniac with big tits who owns a liquor store and a Hummer. This doesn't rhyme and I don't give a f**k. Amen. </div></BLOCKQUOTE>

You know it, Mr Fox is one lucky SOB

I like to take a moment of silence before I drink and pray for world peace

<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">Originally posted by DRTYFN:
<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">Originally posted by Mrs. Desert Fox:
Here's for Andy: Female/Male Prayer

Female Prayer:

I pray for a rich deaf-mute nymphomanic
Who's looks good and is great in the sac
One that doesn't know how to operate the remote control
And doesn't have a hairy mole (it works)
A stud that knows how to make me laugh
and can use his tongue like a giraffe
Fills up my gas tank and changes my oil
And knows that I am the princess that he needs to spoil



Male Prayer:

I pray for a deaf-mute nymphomaniac with big tits who owns a liquor store and a Hummer. This doesn't rhyme and I don't give a f**k. Amen. </div></BLOCKQUOTE>


Fixed </div></BLOCKQUOTE>

Fixed again.

<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">Originally posted by h2co-pilot:
Oh look, Gorton got his period. </div></BLOCKQUOTE>

LMAO