sorry for the long message, but here it is:
aftermarket without a doubt. in fact, you'll find that dealer accessories (or rather "gm certified") are aftermarket. they just mark it up because since they're offered at/by the dealership. people who don't know accessories feel "safer" since they know that it's being done by the dealership. especially since there can be some iffy accessory shops out there.
the grill is up to you. do you want it noticable or not? imo, chrome fuel caps/doors are nice, but again, do you want it noticable or not? some people like the whole stealth look and would go all black. then again, there are those who like their "bling".
aftermarket cd player? just make sure that they have the PAC (i can't remember the part number, but i can get it if you want) conversion that allows you to keep the steering wheel button use with the aftermarket player. unless, that's not an issue for you.
dvd and screens > any reputable audio shop can help you with this. i recommend myron and davis (which, i believe, is a prime example of a dealer option) screens. they offer a complete headrest replacement with 7" screens already installed, ready to wire. the headrest are made with the same leathers gm uses so it's a guaranteed color match. an experienced audio shop will be able to install the dvd player professionally. i can't tell you how frustrating it is to clean up someone else's wiring mess. they'll be able to do your ipod attachment also. imo, best buy, circuit city, and some of these other main companies who deal with electronics generally, don't always have audio installers that know what they're doing, so make sure it's an audio shop that's got a good reputation.
engine mgmt upgrad, exhaust, rear view camera, and nerf bars should be available at any truck accessories store.
and for my credibility, i own a full custom shop in arkansas and have been working in the aftermarket industry for about 6 or 7 years. although i'd be happy to work on your rig, this is not a plug for me but some personal advice.
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