LMAO! Happy Labor Day. I guess the HUMMER wanted the day off too.
Ok, It really isn't taht funny. It happened to me on my old 03. Bad battery. This happened to a few people. There is a thread about this somewhere on here from waaaaaaaaayyyyyy back in the day. The key getting stuck throuugh me for a loop when it happened. I thouhgt I stuck the wrong key in there at first (has a Chevy Avalanche at that time also).
So, if you have verified no acc's were left on( I'm sure you went through everything already) I'd bet you need a new battery. It that little light on the battery on? Green?
Other things it could be:
One guy has to replace his ignition cylinder/ ignition sensors.
Front seat control sticking
Alternator.
key stuck
another post
Hope these may help.