[05h2sut]

HOW TO INSTALL A HOME SECURITY SYSTEM:

1) Go to a second-hand store, buy a pair of men's used size 14-16 work boots

2) Place them on your front porch, along with a copy of Guns & Ammo Magazine

3) Put a few giant dog dishes next to the boots and magazine

4) Leave a note on your door that reads:

Hey Bubba, Big Jim, Duke and Slim, I went for more ammunition. Back in an hour. Don't mess with the pit bulls-they attacked the mailman this morning and messed him up real bad. I don't think Killer took part in it but it was hard to tell from all the blood. Anyway, I locked all four of'em in the house. Better wait outside. Cooter