[PARAGON]

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<H2 align=center>50 Fun Things To Do In An Elevator </H2>

1. <LI>Make race car noises when anyone gets on or off.
   <LI>Blow your nose and offer to show the contents of the Kleenex to the other
   passengers.
   <LI>Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering: 'Shut up,
   dammit, all of you just SHUT UP!'
   <LI>Whistle the first seven notes of 'It's a Small World' incessantly.
   <LI>Sell Girl Scout cookies.
   <LI>On a long ride, sway side to side at the natural frequency of the elevator.
   <LI>Shave.
   <LI>Crack open your briefcase or purse, and while peering inside, ask: 'Got
   enough air in there?'
   <LI>Offer name tags to everyone getting on the elevator. Wear yours upside down.
   
   <LI>Stand silent and motionless in the corner, facing the wall, without getting
   off.
   <LI>When arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, then
   act embarrassed when they open by themselves.
   <LI>Lean over to another passenger and whisper: 'Noogie patrol coming!'
   <LI>Greet everyone getting on the elevator with a warm handshake and ask them to
   call you Admiral.
   <LI>One word: flatulence!
   <LI>On the highest floor, hold the door open and demand that it stay open until
   you hear the penny you dropped down the shaft go 'plink' at the bottom.
   <LI>Do Tai Chi exercises.
   <LI>Stare, grinning, at other passengers for a while, and then announce 'I've
   got new socks on!'
   <LI>When at least 8 people have boarded, moan from the back: 'Oh not now, damn
   motion sickness.'
   <LI>Give religious tracts to each passenger.
   <LI>Meow occasionally.
   <LI>Bet the other passengers you can fit a quarter in your nose.
   <LI>Frown, mutter 'Gotta go, gotta go' then sigh and say 'oops!'
   <LI>Show the other passengers a wound and ask if it looks infected.
   <LI>Sing 'Mary had a little lamb' while continually pushing buttons.
   <LI>Holler 'Chutes away!' whenever the elevator descends.
   <LI>Walk on with a cooler that says 'human head' on the side.
   <LI>Stare at another passenger for a while, then announce 'You're one of THEM!'
   and move to the far corner of the elevator.
   <LI>Burp and then say 'mmm...tasty!'
   <LI>Leave a box between the doors.
   <LI>Ask each passenger getting on if you can push the buttons for them.
   <LI>Wear a puppet on your hand and talk to other passengers 'through' it.
   <LI>Start a singalong.
   <LI>When the elevator is silent, look around and ask 'is that your beeper?'
   <LI>Play the harmonica.
   <LI>Shadow box.
   <LI>Say 'Ding!' at each floor.
   <LI>Lean against the button panel.
   <LI>Say 'I wonder what all these do' and push the red buttons.
   <LI>Listen to the elevator walls with a stethoscope.
   <LI>Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other
   passengers that this is your 'personal space'.
   <LI>bring a chair along.
   <LI>Take a bite of a sandwich and ask another passenger : 'Wanna see wha in muh
   mouf?'
   <LI>Blow soap bubbles.
   <LI>Pull gum out of your mouth in long strings.
   <LI>Announce in a demonic voice: 'I must find a more suitable host body.'
   <LI>Carry a blanket and clutch it protectively.
   <LI>Make explosion noises when someone presses a button.
   <LI>Wear 'X-ray Specs' and leer suggestively at other passengers.
   <LI>Stare at your thumb and say 'I think it's getting larger.'
   <LI>If anyone brushes against you, recoil and holler 'Bad Touch'
   </LI>

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