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Go Back   Hummer Forums by Elcova > ETC. Forums > General Off Topic

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  #1  
Old 02-01-2008, 08:50 PM
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Default Is this bad - Swallow

With only 13 days to go the wife is sick and tired of the cute little parasite in her belly and wants him out. Now!

What to do, what to do?

Yeah, she's walking and stuff like that and the contractions are happening and all the other junk that goes with it. But what to do to speed it up?

Well guess what, she found some info on the 'net (then it must be true, right?) that says consuming semen after a bj will induce labor. Yep, it encourages giving blowjobs and finishing the deed. Hummmmm...

Needless to say, I've been as supportive as I can of her and her decisions so who am I to step in and tell her it's just an old wives tale? That's just not right. She needs encouragement, you know. Confidence that she's doing the right thing.

In order to do my part, I've been doing my very best to remind her of this process every few hours. I mean, it's tough on me and my unit, so I'm really sacrificing too. I'm sure you all understand. This is a big commitment on my part having to have my pork sword slathered up with mouth juice every few hours. Then having to supply the necessary baby batter. It's tough. Really tough.

What do you think? I believe I'm doing the right thing by not telling her. I'd really hate to upset her.
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  #2  
Old 02-01-2008, 08:59 PM
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Default Re: Is this bad - Swallow

You owe me for putting that site up on the interweb for you.
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  #3  
Old 02-01-2008, 09:07 PM
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Default Re: Is this bad - Swallow

She is going to kill you once she can catch you. I love it.
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  #4  
Old 02-01-2008, 09:49 PM
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Default Re: Is this bad - Swallow

You are a cruel dude!
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  #5  
Old 02-01-2008, 10:29 PM
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Default Re: Is this bad - Swallow

Quote:
Originally Posted by BKLYNH2
You owe me for putting that site up on the interweb for you.

are you serious?
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  #6  
Old 02-01-2008, 11:02 PM
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Default Re: Is this bad - Swallow

Quote:
Originally Posted by 3Hummer
are you serious?
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  #7  
Old 02-01-2008, 11:34 PM
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Default Re: Is this bad - Swallow

Two things................

#1... you may NEVER GET LAID AGAIN ,, for the rest of your life

#2... we use to put a collar and leash on a dog due to welp and make them run behind the car (not to fast), it worked pretty good, you may want to try that on her...
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  #8  
Old 02-01-2008, 11:51 PM
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Default Re: Is this bad - Swallow

Ken....THIS THREAD IS WORTHLESS WITHOUT PICS

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  #9  
Old 02-02-2008, 12:50 AM
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Default Re: Is this bad - Swallow

PLEASE NO PICS....AND withouot photgraphic evidence, i think you are lying......
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  #10  
Old 02-02-2008, 01:31 AM
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Default Re: Is this bad - Swallow

Man, don't listen to all these guys....that'd be a mistake.

I have 5 kids, so I'm talking from experience.

Yes your findings are correct.

Look, my advice is to calmly explain to her that your alleged findings will prove it'd be in her best interest.

AND, most importantly, at the expense of great personal pain, you being the loving, thoughtful, considerate husband that you are...will go above and beyond to provide the "all you can eat" buffet!

Again, hang tough brother...it might take 4-5 times a day for the next 2 weeks.

Oh yeah, I almost forgot it'll also relieve that dreaded post-partum depression....
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  #11  
Old 02-02-2008, 02:20 AM
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Default Re: Is this bad - Swallow

Quote:
Originally Posted by Big Dad
Oh yeah, I almost forgot it'll also relieve that dreaded post-partum depression....
Oh damn, man. You mean I have to keep this up AFTER the boy comes?

Well, in support of her, I guess I'll have to do it. Damn, just damn.
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Old 02-02-2008, 10:04 AM
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Default Re: Is this bad - Swallow

You could also remind her that if she'd just done that in the first place, she wouldn't be in this position.

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  #13  
Old 02-02-2008, 12:10 PM
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Default Re: Is this bad - Swallow

What speeds things up :

1. black strong coffee
2. a loooooong walk
3. sex, yes sex ! No pics please !!!!
4. a good beating !
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  #14  
Old 02-02-2008, 04:28 PM
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Default Re: Is this bad - Swallow

Quote:
Originally Posted by frenzy1
2. a loooooong walk
We were in Sears Thursday night and she was struggling. A security guard even asked if she needed to be wheeled out.
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  #15  
Old 02-03-2008, 12:02 AM
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Default Re: Is this bad - Swallow

ROFL

Quote:
Originally Posted by frenzy1
What speeds things up :

1. black strong coffee
2. a loooooong walk
3. sex, yes sex ! No pics please !!!!
4. a good beating !
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