Dog Related Quotes

[BlueHUMMERH2]

The reason a dog has so many friends is that he wags his tail instead of his tongue.
-Anonymous

Don't accept your dog's admiration as conclusive evidence that you are wonderful.
-Ann Landers

If there are no dogs in Heaven, then when I die I want to go where they went.
-Will Rogers

There is no psychiatrist in the world like a puppy licking your face.
-Ben Williams

A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more then he loves himself.
-Josh Billings

The average dog is a nicer person than the average person.
-Andy Rooney

We give dogs time we can spare, space we can spare and love we can spare.
And in return, dogs give us their all. It's the best deal man has ever made
-M. Acklam

Dogs love their friends and bite their enemies, quite unlike people,
Who are incapable of pure love and always have to mix love and hate
-Sigmund Freud

A dog teaches a boy fidelity, perseverance, and to turn around three times before lying down.
-Robert Benchley

Anybody who doesn't know what soap tastes like never washed a dog.
-Franklin P. Jones

If I have any beliefs about immortality, it is that certain dogs I have known will go to heaven, and very, very few persons.
-James Thurber

If your dog is fat, you aren't getting enough exercise.
-Unknown

My dog is worried about the economy because Alpo is up to $3.00 a can.
That's almost $21.00 in dog money.
-Joe Weinstein

Ever consider what our dogs must think of us? I mean, here we come from a grocery with the most amazing haul, chicken, pork, half a cow.
They must think we're the greatest hunters on earth!
-Anne Tyler

Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax,
and get used to the idea.
-Robert A. Heinlein

If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you;
that is the principal difference between a dog and a man.
-Mark Twain

You can say any foolish thing to a dog, and the dog will give you a look that says, 'Wow, you're right! I never would've thought of that!'
- Dave Barry

Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole.
-Roger Caras

If you think dogs can't count, try putting three dog biscuits in your pocket and then give him only two of them.
-Phil Pastoret

[GLBLWARMR]

You forgot one.

"I fall off the couch everytime I try to lick my balls."
-GLBLWARMR

[f5fstop]

I have these rules posted in the hallway, just inside the door..

Rules of the House:
1. I like my Malamute more than I like most people.
2. She is a Giant Malamute, and weighs more than most women I know. She is NOT a Siberian Husky and she hates being called a Husky.
3. If you sit down, do not complain about dog fur. Yes I have vacuumed, but she sometimes sheds faster than the vacuum can pick up.
4. Do not pat your chest when you are standing or sitting. She is still considered a puppy. If you do this while standing, she will jump, put her paws on your shoulder, and lick you, and she might topple you over if you are of a smaller statue. If you pat your chest while sitting, prepare yourself, for she quickly becomes one of the largest lapdogs known to man (or woman).
5. If you pick up one of her toys, you will be forced to play with her for at least fifteen minutes.
6. If you pick up her giant bone, don?t be surprised if she makes your arm her new giant bone.
7. Do not pull her tail, even if it is nice and fluffy
8. Do not make any sudden movements, it does not mean she will attack, it means she will run over to see what is happening and if your sudden movement is taken as a pat on the chest?see rule 4.
9. She is a Giant Alaskan Malamute; NOT a Wolf, so don?t imitate a Wolf cry, because it irritates her, and it also irritates me
10. She does not bark, but she talks, so when she talks to you listen carefully and let me know what she is saying; since I have no idea.

[K9sH3]

Originally Posted by GLBLWARMR

You forgot one.

"I fall off the couch everytime I try to lick my balls."
-GLBLWARMR

HAHAHAHAHA!