In memoriam: the Pillsbury Doughboy

[Wisha Haddan H3]

Please join me in remembering a great icon of the entertainment community. The Pillsbury Doughboy died yesterday of complications from a yeast infection and trauma from repeated pokes in the belly. He was 71.

Dozens of celebrities turned out to pay their respects, including Duncan Hines, Mrs. Butterworth, Betty Crocker, Dolly Madison, Little Debbie, and Captain Crunch. His grave was piled high with flours. Even Hungry Jack attended, ending a heated 30-year feud.

Aunt Jemima delivered the eulogy after a special musical number by the California Raisins. She lovingly remembered Doughboy?s bubbly personality, saying he never knew how much he was kneaded. After graduating with a degree in child piecology from Rice University, he launched his career in show business to ready-mixed reviews. Still Doughboy rose quickly, though his later life was filled with turnovers. He wasn?t a very smart cookie, wasting much of his dough on half-baked schemes. Still, the crusty old man was considered a positive roll model for millions during his golden years, despite a reputation for flakiness.

Doughboy is survived by his children - John and Jane Dough, and his wife Play Dough who has a bun in the oven. He is also survived by his elderly father, Pop Tart. He was laid to rest in a lightly greased pan before going into the oven one last time. The ceremony was held at 3:50 for about 20 minutes.

[Hmmm2]

but a soft landing...