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Go Back   Hummer Forums by Elcova > ETC. Forums > General Off Topic

 
 
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Old 11-02-2006, 05:04 PM
KenP's Avatar
KenP KenP is offline
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Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: Virginia Beach
Posts: 37,474
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Default Beer vs. Pu$%& (Adult content: language)

Beer

VS

Pussy!!


THE PLAYOFF




Beer is always wet.

Pussy needs a little work.



BEER 1

PUSSY 0




Warm beer


tastes awful.


One point to Pussy


BEER 1

PUSSY 1




A really cold beer is satisfying


One point to Beer.



BEER 2

PUSSY 1




If after taking a swig of your favorite beer you find a hair between your teeth, you may vomit.



One point to Pussy.



BEER 2

PUSSY 2



Ten beers in one night and you can't drive home.



Ten Pussies in one night and you don't want to drive anywhere.


One point to Pussy.




BEER 2




PUSSY 3





If you have a lot of beer in a public place, your reputation may suffer.If you eat any Pussy in public,


you become a legend.



One point to Pussy.


BEER 2

PUSSY 4



If a cop stops you and you smell of beer you may get arrested.





If you smell of Pussy he may buy you a beer.




One point to Pussy.



BEER 2

PUSSY 5



You normally don't find old beer.




One point to Beer



BEER 3

PUSSY 5





Too much beer and you'll think you see flying saucers.



Too much Pussy and you'll think you've seen God.




One point to Pussy.




BEER 3
PUSSY 6



In most countries there's a tax on beer.



One point to Pussy.



BEER 3

PUSSY 7



If you have another beer the first one never gets pissed off.



One point to Beer.


BEER 4

PUSSY 7



You can always be sure if you're the first one to open a bottle or can.



One point to Beer.



BEER 5

PUSSY 7



If you shake beer it'll get all agitated but it eventually it settles down.



One point to Beer.



BEER 6

PUSSY 7



You always know how much beer is going to cost.



One point to Beer.


BEER 7

PUSSY 7


Beer doesn't have a mother.



One point to Beer



BEER 8

PUSSY 7



Beer never expects to be hugged for half an hour after you've drank it.



One point to Beer.


BEER 9

PUSSY 7




FINAL SCORE


BEER 9

PUSSY 7

That's it! The matter is settled, the clear winner is:




BEER



PS: If you are a woman and at this point feel angry, degraded or discriminated, just remember that Beer would experience none of those feelings, let alone express them.

An extra point for BEER





__________________
"My reading of history convinces me that most bad government results from too much government."---Thomas Jefferson

Last edited by KenP : 11-02-2006 at 05:11 PM.
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