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01-07-2005, 05:02 AM
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Hummer Messiah
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Join Date: Nov 2002
Location: PDX
Posts: 2,367,817
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<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by HummerJohn:
Hey Drty, what's the matter? We all know that you're a still in the closet peter puffing lover. Ha Ha! We're down to only 3 gallons of lube now anyways. E got all excited last night when I told her we still had 6 gallons left...man, it was a long night...in the H2, in the Mercedes and lastly in the Vette. Didn't make the normal 2 hour mark though. FYI, E actually wore a nice little nurse outfit (no fake beard & mustache this time).  <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>
Ok, you're very obviously over-matched in the imagination department here.
If E needed to be lubed up for action with you then that's usually an indicator that you're not doing it for her.
(Walked right into that one, didn't you?)
Somehow when you say nurse outfit all that I see you thinking of is non-gender specific(and actually male oriented) scrubs.
If I were you I would have said I had dressed her up in a naughty little candy striper outfit. But that's just me and I'm very heterosexual and you're... well, you sound very conflicted about your latent homosexuality.
And banging E in the 'Vette must be pretty easy for you what with you not needing much room for that short stroke you've got. I bet you closed your eyes and pretended you were pushing in the stool of the grubby mechanic you've had your wandering homo eyes on.
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01-07-2005, 06:06 PM
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Hummer Messiah
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Join Date: Nov 2002
Location: PDX
Posts: 2,367,817
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<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by HummerJohn:
I'm thinking that you're just stumped and out of witty comebacks this morning. Tis okay...go read some of your many old posts about homosexuality and copy and paste one of those here. You've got about 6,000 to choose from. 
Since you don't have anyone at home but you and your dog and internet forums, I cringe to think what you do with your giant dildo in the wide open of your home. Ewe, I'm cringing now with the thought you might be doing something with the giant dildo right now...   <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>
Hey Forrest, why don't you tell us all about your box of chocolates?
Now you're into f*cking sheep? Nice Freudian slip with the "Ewe". You do know that's a female sheep, right?
And cringing isn't what your rectum is doing right now while you think about a male with a dildo. Sick pud. Poor E.  |
01-07-2005, 09:42 PM
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Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: La Jolla, CA
Posts: 41
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Okie kids...
I think we have read enough of your stupid comments about who has a bigger cock... Im sure http://www.ebonylesbigay.org/ will enjoy your posts a lil more then the h2 community
thx for playing! |
01-05-2005, 03:45 AM
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Hummer Veteran
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Join Date: Jan 2004
Location: Folsom, CA
Posts: 51
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Folsom is near Sacramento, about 2 tanks away in a H2. You are more than welcome to come up here and let me drive you car anytime
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Red 2004 H2
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01-07-2005, 12:06 AM
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Hummer Messiah
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Join Date: Nov 2002
Location: PDX
Posts: 2,367,817
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<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by unaslob:
you know... the pic is a perfect mid-life crisis archetype....along with some compensating for something......
you will notice the pic shows the car right at crotch level...as if the car was supposed to personify or dare I say compensate....
unaslob <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>
...snicker...  |
01-05-2005, 05:24 AM
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Hummer Authority
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Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: P-Town and Now Vegas again.
Posts: 1,369
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thats wrong!!!!! next your gonna say your Canadian
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01-05-2005, 03:57 AM
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Hummer Messiah
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Join Date: Nov 2002
Location: PDX
Posts: 2,367,817
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<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by HummerLvr:
Folsom is near Sacramento, about 2 tanks away in a H2. You are more than welcome to come up here and let me drive you car anytime <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>
Wanna drive a 745Li? Lots of room in the back... oh yeah, (damn) you're married.  Ever think of a trial separation... say for like 2 hours or so? |
01-05-2005, 03:18 AM
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Hummer Veteran
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Join Date: Jan 2004
Location: Folsom, CA
Posts: 51
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Well I guess this works, just don't expect girls to jump right in it or anything. A proper lady would request for the door to be opened 
That is a very nice car, I am sure you will enjoy it. And a have a happy early birthday too!
Ericka
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Red 2004 H2
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01-07-2005, 03:21 PM
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Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: Folsom
Posts: 21
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Wow Drty...that must actually be your dog. Since you have pictures of it and all (otherwise, it would be quite gay to have a picture like that saved on your computer). And since I'm pretty sure you're single, why the heck do you have a dildo? Do you have to stuff with that to make up for some short comings?
You're quite creative yourself with the homo comments. I'm thinking you must be speaking from some sort of personal experience.
This is my dog. Pardon the devil horns...E wanted some cute halloween pictures.
Sorry for the hyjack Steve, but it's still fun. and I like your new car too.
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01-06-2005, 10:50 PM
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Join Date: Sep 2003
Posts: 303
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you know... the pic is a perfect mid-life crisis archetype....along with some compensating for something......
you will notice the pic shows the car right at crotch level...as if the car was supposed to personify or dare I say compensate....
unaslob
__________________
Corsa Sport exhaust(offroad \'tip\'), Gobi rack w/ lights & w/roof mounted tire w/ ladder, Warn Winch with rear power, Dual Wolo Airhorns w/ lanyard valve, Hadley Aircompressor 130PSI, 14\" airtank, front and rear quick disconnects for air, Cobra 75 WX
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01-06-2005, 03:58 AM
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Hummer Messiah
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Join Date: Nov 2002
Location: PDX
Posts: 2,367,817
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<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by HummerLvr:
... I doubt Drty could actually last 2 hours <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>
Now after your hubby's (HummerJohn) homosexual saturated threat of sodomy I'm not surprised you don't get treated to 2 hours of foreplay & sex. Maybe if you wore men's clothes and a fake beard & mustache and just dropped your pants a little bit & bent over he'd be interested. |
01-05-2005, 05:15 PM
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Hummer Authority
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Join Date: Nov 2002
Location: Los Angeles, Calif
Posts: 1,283
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Spike,
I sense your just joking, but honestly....I'm not taking anything but the typical multi-viatmins and mellow stuff.
I'm terrified by all those "products" available in stores & mail-order. Check this out:
Long ago my mother, with near tears in her eyes, begged me to do something about my weight. She told me about something called "Phen-fen". I calmly replied "yeah...now it's the hot thing, but you watch and see....in a while there'll be all sorts of warnings and something horrible will come of it". Sure as **** I was right!!!
Like I said...eat better, eat less and exercise. Everything you need can be found in good healthy food. Throw in a good multi-vitamin, some vitamin E and perhaps a few other vitamin-based supplements...and your good-to-go.
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01-07-2005, 10:12 PM
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Hummer Messiah
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Join Date: Nov 2002
Location: PDX
Posts: 2,367,817
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<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by HummerJohn:
You know what worries me most is that you've spent so much time thinking about E and me...<span class="ev_code_RED">(Your not self-centered or anything.)</span>while also thinking about dildo's and homosexuality too<span class="ev_code_RED">(You brought up lube and homo sodomy, fruitcake.</span> (and now sheep).<span class="ev_code_RED">Uhm, again, you said "Ewe". Remember, oh ye of short memory?</span>?
Keep both hand on the keyboard little boy<span class="ev_code_RED">("Little boy"? Homosayswhat?)</span> and look straight ahead. You don't want to shoot an eye out while jerking off<span class="ev_code_RED">(Again, with the homo-erotic theme.)</span> with that little thing.<span class="ev_code_RED"> Maybe E could judge that for you.</span> <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>
So this is what it feels like to pick on a slow person. I feel dirty(ok, dirtier).
...losing... interest... |
01-07-2005, 02:08 PM
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Hummer Messiah
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Join Date: Nov 2002
Location: PDX
Posts: 2,367,817
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Hummer John, remember how you trained your dog to bring you your personal "toy" on command? Well, he's bringing it to you again, but this time in front of company.
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01-06-2005, 03:11 AM
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Hummer Veteran
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Join Date: Jan 2004
Location: Folsom, CA
Posts: 51
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<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Steve R:
A pound of muscle requires 70 calories a day just to exist on your body. I don't want my body to store excess calories...I want it to burn them up like our Hummers go through gas! I suspect the angles are just right...trust me, I still have a ways to go. <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>
Steve-
How long had you been exercising and eating right before you saw results? Did you have a personal trainer help you set up a plan? I am just curious as I have been playing around on my own for about 6 months and have seen a slight difference but I need to look darn good in a bikini by August for a trip to Maui. My only weakness is ice cream. Any tips?
Ericka
PS that car is really really nice and I doubt Drty could actually last 2 hours
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Red 2004 H2
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01-05-2005, 04:38 AM
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Hummer Messiah
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Join Date: Nov 2002
Location: PDX
Posts: 2,367,817
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<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by HummerJohn:
HummerJohn's Homosexual advances have been deleted from this post for obvious reasons.
<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>
Ok, dude, that's not normal. Your HummerJohn name is now going to be synonymous with gay prostitution. You've got some repressed issued that are quickly becoming not so repressed.
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01-05-2005, 03:23 AM
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Hummer Authority
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Join Date: Nov 2002
Location: Los Angeles, Calif
Posts: 1,283
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Where's Folsom???? How many gas-tanks away is that???? |
01-07-2005, 07:43 AM
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Hummer Authority
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Join Date: Nov 2002
Location: Los Angeles, Calif
Posts: 1,283
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In other related news....Hummerjohn & Hummerman stole my ride!!!!
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01-05-2005, 03:54 PM
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Hummer Authority
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Join Date: Nov 2002
Location: Los Angeles, Calif
Posts: 1,283
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Steve got pretty disgusted when we saw himself on tv and realized that fat people don't live very long, have health issues and that continuing to live for the moment and gratifying himself with food was an f-up way of life. Just got sick of being fat.
Mountain biking, racquetball, kayaking, personal trainer 2-3x per week. Eat better, eat less, exercise more. Results happened. MORE satisfying then any car would ever bring. Cholesterol way down w/o drugs, blood-pressure in normal range (w/o drugs), had to get new clothes. Still have a ways to go, but on the right path!!
I just thought it was hilarious that this car actually gets LOWER mpg then the H2. My buddy has a Maranello, he gets about 8 mpg. I suppose we're just destined to consume massive quanitities of gasoline
My other motivation was to get in shape so that IF I ever move on that sex-change operation, DRTY will find me attractive. Lord knows that boy lives to rip on fat chicks!!!!!!!!! Oh well, there's always Dennis...I hear he's not picky.....he love me long time.
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01-05-2005, 04:17 PM
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Hummer Messiah
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Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: Virginia Beach
Posts: 37,474
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Steve, maybe I need to put a video of myself on the W-i-d-e-s-c-r-e-e-n. I know I need to lose some myself.
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"My reading of history convinces me that most bad government results from too much government."---Thomas Jefferson
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