H2 Magazine Reviews!!

[SJ]

SUVGuy:

What's a Volvo X90? You mean XC90: the AWD contraption that Volvo sells as a taller likeness of the XC70 wagon?

Yeah, I was thinking about getting one of those and wheeling it at our local bog. What do you think buddy - can I fit a set of 28" swampers on that bad boy; maybe some Edelbrock Headers and that Swedish 5-banger will have all the locals calling me "boss." Maybe I'll upgrade to the 6-cylinder model if I feel like a wildman!

You know the H2 doesn't have any wood grain either - and I don't know if your tea party friends will approve of that.

________________________
'03 H2 [Sold]
'03 Chevrolet Silverado Z71, 6" Rancho Lift, Rear Factory Locker, 35" ProComp MTs

[TJ]

Please don't make fun of Volvo you guys. I am of Swedish desecent (and yes, my grandfather was a Swedish master carpenter, some of his work can be found in the 'movie star' homes up in the Hollywood Hills and Beverly Hills) and the Volvo is a Swedish vehicle...and for the uninformed, it's pronounce "vaul'-voh", not "vole-vo".

[ShaggyX]

<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by DRTYFN:
Not so much a redneck, but more of a loudmouthed excuse-making pussy.
<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>I resemble that remark.

[Spike]

Well boys there it is. SUVGay really put us in our place with that article. I know you guys care like I do what that ******* Patrick Bedard has to say. In fact I will be putting my H2 up for sale immediately. Cake pans included!

Just looking at that guy makes my skin crawl. I can just see him lying there face down with his head burried in a pillow while his boyfriends take turns reenacting the maximun security prison rapefest on him. Then after a brief packing of the ass with tampons to control the bleeding its off to work in his Hugo to write his worthless opinions about the H2.

S&B Member

[This message was edited by Spike on 02-02-04 at 11:14 AM.]

[SUVGuy]

<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by argonaut:
wow, I just did a search on the website for car and driver, and there was not a single mention of the Hummer H2 in April 2003... You sir, are a ****ty liar.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>


I've got the issues here in front of me. They are actual quotes from actual magazine editors. If you have the issues look them up. You will see that I am right and quoted them word for word.

[Spike]

Get the flame throwers ready...I smell "troll"!!

S&B Member

[SUVGuy]

<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by ShaggyZr2:
Where??? I dont see anything.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Sorry it wouldn't take a pdf. I'll attach it as a jpg.

[PARAGON]

<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>quotes from Motor Trend:
The all-new H2 is unmistakably Hummer, faithful in nearly every detail...

Built to a tough-as-nails 8600-lb GVW standard and with more interior and cargo room than the traditional Hummer H1, the H2 is short where it needs to be for outstanding off-roadability--in front and rear overhangs. The H2 is the Manx cat of SUVs, thanks to wheels pushed to the far corners of the robust body. It'll climb up and over obstacles 16 inches tall without snagging bumpers or tow hitch receivers and in low range/low gear (with a 33:1 crawl rate) continue on up a 60-percent grade without breaking a sweat. All 3.2 tons of it.

Hummers are all about going where others dare not go. Here, the H2 has its own bag of techno-tricks, including a two-speed, shift-on-the-fly transfer case, locking center differential, locking rear differential, dual-mode traction control, and anti-lock brakes with automatic brake differential. Via a dash-mounted switch, the H2 driver can select High Open, High Locked (center diff locked), Low Locked (center diff locked), or Neutral (when being towed). An Eaton locking rear differential can be engaged in low range for dealing with severe obstacles and works in forward and reverse. Another dash switch lets the driver adjust the traction-control system for on-road, high-friction surfaces or off-road, low-friction conditions, allowing a bit more wheelspin and being less intrusive on engine power under the latter setting. Finally, the automatic brake differential function of the ABS helps keep the H2 moving by braking a spinning wheel or wheels and feeding drive torque to the tire's contact patch with the most grip.

the H2 may prove to be the irresistible object between a rock and hard place.

<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

[Spike]

What happened to SUVQueer? Was this a hit and run post? He probably doesn't have the balls to come back on. Or maybe he does have the balls...there just lying across the bridge of his nose right now.

S&B Member

[ShaggyX]

<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Mooncricket:
Not too piss anyone off<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>Famous last words.

[SUVGuy]

Here is the Car and Driver Quote.

[PARAGON]

<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by paragon:
<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Mooncricket:
Not too piss anyone off, but both Shaggy's thread and SUVGUY's thread make you all sound like a bunch of highschool kids sitting around the Varsity locker room. Too much mouth and testosterone for what it's worth...JMO!<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>Better than a bunch of elementary kids on a Jeep forum.

I could say something about the too much mouth and testosterone but there are Ladies in the locker room.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>Shaggy, I take it this friend of yours owns a Jeep. After playing with him I had to go back and read to figure out why he got so bent out of shape at the 2 lines I wrote, neither even directed at him. He must of read way too much into the "elementary kids on a Jeep forum" like I knew he owned a Jeep and was from a jeep forum.

Funny, funny stuff.

[PARAGON]

<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>Car and Driver:

The H2 may not be able to climb a three-foot wall, traverse a 40-percent slope, or straddle a 16-inch boulder, as the H1 can. But it is clearly equipped to be the most capable GM-designed off-roader on the market. It has the strike-force styling of the now-legendary AM General Humvee and its civilian clone the Hummer, though it’s much more refined

Meanwhile, our Mexican mileage has created deep respect, fondness, and admiration for the H2. It is golly-gee easy and reassuring to drive, but it is not a Hummer poseur. It handles serious off-road chores with ho-hum ease, leaving its occupants marveling at the comfort in which they can travel through rough country. For most folks, that will make it the perfect Hummer

The H2, on the other hand, is everything the H1 isn't: comfortable, spacious, and fun to drive on-road and off-. Two days of off-roading and rock crawling outside Moab, Utah, convinced us the H2 can overcome obstacles almost as well as the H1 can (we know because we had an H1 chase vehicle) but in a much more civilized manner and for half the price. GM has done a great job of capturing the look and off-road prowess of the H1 and making the H2 a practical vehicle<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

[Buckeye Hummer]

This is really funny!

suvguy,

One day you may be financially strong enough to afford a Hummer at which time your views will change, until then you will be bound by ingorance. You are young, you don't understand or comprehend and frankly, I don't expect you to but I appreciate the entertainment value of your thread. What's next?

[DennisAJC]

I think your Mommy and her Brother/Husband(Your father and uncle in one) beat your bucked tooth three cheeked ass one too many times.

Next time instead of gobbling up your family dog`s cock n balls and playin sperm fountain, mabye read a book and educate yerself.

Fine example of why you should not drop out of grade 2.

" S & B Member Since 2003 "

[BlueTJCO]

thanks Seth, thats what I intend to do.

[SJ]

SUVGuy:

What do you roll? Probably a Lexus RX 'cause it fits 5 of your greenpeace Birkenstock wearing soy latte sipping buddies with a combined weight of 250. I live in the Bay Area and judging by your comments, you might be one of the many Birkenstock turds that lives in nearby San Francisco or Berkeley - so you want to wheel, then put up a**hole. Otherwise, you can kiss my whiskey drinking, Bull Riding, American Truck driving a**. Take your Motor Trend to Tokyo while you're at it - I'm the wrong guy to care about your tea room reading material.

________________________
'03 H2 [Sold]
'03 Chevrolet Silverado Z71, 6" Rancho Lift, Rear Factory Locker, 35" ProComp MTs

[Buckeye Hummer]

<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by SUVGuy:
-Imagine off-roading in your H2 and getting stuck going up a hill and then passed by a soccer mom in a Volvo X90. How embarrassing!<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

A good friend of mine just turned her Volvo in because part of the drivetrain fell to the ground while driving on the freeway. 3K in damage and 5,000 miles outside of warranty. They wouldn't fix it.


I can't imagine getting stuck on a hill in my Hummer. It's never happened. Your VW beetle, however, would be fun to roll over you dope smoking turd.

[SUVGuy]

I never made any assertions from the quotes. I just posted them as quotes. I thought it was funny that the H2 couldn't finish the hill climb without low range that the Volvo had no problems with. And I agreed with what the Car and Driver editor said. Even out of context they still say the same thing.

I'm not envious of your H2s one bit. I make enough money to buy 2 H2's. I just think they are a poor choice as an off road vehicle. Why would anyone spend so much on an off road vehicle when they could build one up for half the price that would be superior (and one they could actually see out of)? And they also wouldn't feel so bad about beating the hell out of it.

[DRTYFN]

<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by SUVGuy:
-Imagine off-roading in your H2 and getting stuck going up a hill and then passed by a soccer mom in a Volvo X90. How embarrassing!<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Ok.... I'm trying to imagine that happening, but all I can come up with is a horrible prison shower rape scene involving SUVGuy.

I'd like to find some dolt that owns one of those Volvos that would be willing to play follow the leader with me. That soccer mom car wouldn't make it 400 yards.

S&B Member since '03