Cursing on the Job

[DRTYFN]

Dear Employees:

It has been brought to management's attention that some individuals
throughout the company have been using foul language during the course
of normal conversation with their co-workers.

Due to complaints received from some employees who may be easily
offended, this type of language will no longer be tolerated.

We do, however, realize the critical importance of being able to
accurately express your feelings when communicating with co-workers.

Therefore, a list of 18 New and Innovative 'TRY SAYING' phrases have
been provided so that proper exchange of ideas and information can
continue in an effective manner.

Number 1
TRY SAYING: I think you could use more training.
INSTEAD OF: You don't know what the f___ you're doing.

Number 2
TRY SAYING: She's an aggressive go-getter.
INSTEAD OF: She's a f___ing bit__.

Number 3
TRY SAYING: Perhaps I can work late.
INSTEAD OF: And when the f___ do you expect me to do this?

Number 4
TRY SAYING: I'm certain that isn't feasible.
INSTEAD OF: No f___ing way.

Number 5
TRY SAYING: Really?
INSTEAD OF: You've got to be sh___ing me!

Number 6
TRY SAYING: Perhaps you should check with...
INSTEAD OF: Tell someone who gives a sh__.

Number 7
TRY SAYING: I wasn't involved in the project.
INSTEAD OF: It's not my f___ing problem.

Number 8
TRY SAYING: That's interesting.
INSTEAD OF: What the f___?

Number 9
TRY SAYING: I'm not sure this can be implemented.
INSTEAD OF: This sh__ won't work.

Number 10
TRY SAYING: I'll try to schedule that.
INSTEAD OF: Why the f___ didn't you tell me sooner?

Number 11
TRY SAYING: He's not familiar with the issues.
INSTEAD OF: He's got his head up his a__.

Number 12
TRY SAYING: Excuse me, sir?
INSTEAD OF: Eat sh__ and die.

Number 13
TRY SAYING: So you weren't happy with it?
INSTEAD OF: Kiss my a__.

Number 14
TRY SAYING: I'm a bit overloaded at the moment.
INSTEAD OF: F__ it, I'm on salary.

Number 15
TRY SAYING: I don't think you understand.
INSTEAD OF: Shove it up your a__.

Number 16
TRY SAYING: I love a challenge.
INSTEAD OF: This f___ing job sucks.

Number 17
TRY SAYING: You want me to take care of that?
INSTEAD OF: Who the f___ died and made you boss?

Number 18
TRY SAYING: He's somewhat insensitive.
INSTEAD OF: He's a d__k.

Thank You,
Human Resources

[05h2sut]

http://www.collegejournal.com/succes...22-waters.html


What the Bleep? Cursing At Work Can Boost Moral

By JENNIFER WATERS
From MarketWatch


Serial swearers take heart: Profanity in the workplace can be a morale booster and inspire a sense of team spirit.

It depends, of course, on how it's done and at what levels. "Social" or "annoyance" swearing can be effective in many office and workplace environments while vulgar or abusive cursing should never be allowed, according to a recent study.

And by no means should employees ever use profanity in front of customers, according to the study published in the U.K.-based Leadership and Organization Development Journal.


Yehuda Baruch, a management professor at the University of East Anglia in Norwich, U.K., and graduate student Stuart Jenkins found that "apparent misbehavior can serve an organization well." Taboo language, they said, can manifest itself in solidarity that helps create a much more pleasurable and productive place to work.

That's not surprising to many workers who find toiling in droll environments far more exciting than passing the hours in a hear-a-pin drop workplace.

"Social swearing" is conversational and tends to define relationships between people and groups. The study points directly to all-male or male-dominated cultures -- think about a football locker room or the factory floor -- in which the "competitive nature of men's speech" creates a sense of harmony and oneness. Such organizations, the study said, are marked by a "lively boisterous communication style with friendly insults and witty use of coarse, casual profanity."

But many people don't work for the NFL or on a factory floor. Far more sit at desks in cubicles or open rooms. Often, workers will be within earshot of "annoyance swearing," what the report describes as a "relief mechanism" for stress and tensions. Maybe more important, however, is that annoyance swearing replaces "primitive physical aggression."

Women belt it out

The study also points to gender issues and an apparent double standard of men's swearing compared with women's cursing. "Female swearers are often perceived to be of a low moral standing," the researchers noted. Men, on the other hand, can generate reverence from swearing, though they tend to tone down the use of profanity in front of women.

It turns out, however, that women tend to swear more in mixed company as a means of asserting themselves and preventing the conversation from being male-dominated.

Not all swearing, of course, brings humor and overall goodness to the workplace. Bullying is verbally aggressive behavior that has adverse effects on workplace dynamics. The authors warn that repeated occurrences of swearing, threats and verbal abuse can lead to depression, stress, low morale, absenteeism, retention problems and sluggish productivity.

What's a manager to do? Banning swearing might be thought of as a form of strong leadership, but the researchers cautioned that it could tear apart that sense of solidarity. Doing that too could "seriously decrease morale and work motivation" that could too prompt an exodus of valued employees.

[H2wifey]

I guess I need to learn those phrases I'm horrible about cursing I don't curse in front of my patients but I do around all the other employees that I work with but they do it too I'm posting this $hit up at work haha

[DRTYFN]

Originally Posted by H2wifey

I guess I need to learn those phrases I'm horrible about cursing I don't curse in front of my patients but I do around all the other employees that I work with but they do it too I'm posting this $hit up at work haha

Tell one of the patients it's time for his Blumpkin.

[H2wifey]

What is that? please fill me in

[KenP]

Originally Posted by H2wifey

What is that? please fill me in

Don't ask that again. Trust me.

Originally Posted by 05h2sut

...according to the study published in the U.K.-based Leadership and Organization Development Journal.

Fucking Brits.

[H2wifey]

why

[H2wifey]

Drty I just found out what a blumpkin was and you sir are one sick focker ewww

[Big Dad]

Hey girl, you lied! DRTY didn't say to ask a patient if they ever had a blumpkin...

He said to "tell them it was time for their blumpkin!

Different story altogether!

[H2wifey]

I know I got it confused my bad I had to go back and re read what he said




I would NEVER do that

[Big Dad]

It's still funny though!

[H2wifey]

not really

[Big Dad]

Sure it is, can you imagine a hottie nurse walking into the room of some worn out toothless old man (no offense RYD) and cheerfully telling him it's time for his blumpkin!

If he knew what one was -- again, no offense RYD.

Hell, he'd of probably cried from laughing so hard!

[DRTYFN]

Originally Posted by Big Dad

Hey girl, you lied! DRTY didn't say to ask a patient if they ever had a blumpkin...

He said to "tell them it was time for their blumpkin!

Different story altogether!

Thank you.
You get a positive rep point from me.

[Andy C]

Originally Posted by KenP

Fucking Brits.

Oh yeah - "Yehuda Baruch" - as British as they come right there. Thank God I left.

[Agriv8r]

ok, what is blumpkin......i asked two other people here and they dont know...the toothless old man did not help clear it up....

[Agriv8r]

disregard previous request for definition of blumpkin.....

[DRTYFN]

Originally Posted by Agriv8r

disregard previous request for definition of blumpkin.....

[Big Dad]

Originally Posted by DRTYFN

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!