Comical but messed up!!

[TootsSUT]

Okay America, we got some learning to do here!!

The story formally known as Twas The Night Before Christmas:

Twas the night before a non denominational winter holiday when all through the house
not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse.
(Don't you dare kill it!!)
The neutral gift sacks were hung by the chimney with care
in hopes that a non-specific holiday figure would soon be there.
Children of every race, creed and nationality were resting all snug in their beds
while visions of sugar-free plums danced in their heads
when out on the lawn there rose such a clatter
I got up out of bed to see what was the matter
(and to see who was violating the neighborhood sound level ordinance).
But what to my wondering eyes did appear?
An emissions free vehicle and eight sized challenged reindeer.
'Holiday figure' was so lively and quick.
I knew in a moment it must be, well, holiday figure.
He had a broad but normal face and an advanced sized belly
and he laughed "lady of the evening, lady of the evening, lady of the evening!!"
(we can't even say "Ho, Ho, Ho" anymore!!)

Heelloooo??? His name is Santie Claus and he cracks deer with a horse whip, breaks in to people's houses, drinks rum and eggnog and looks like Uncle Jesse from Dukes of Hazard!!! Get over it!!

[TootsSUT]

Okay America, we got some learning to do here!!

The story formally known as Twas The Night Before Christmas:

Twas the night before a non denominational winter holiday when all through the house
not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse.
(Don't you dare kill it!!)
The neutral gift sacks were hung by the chimney with care
in hopes that a non-specific holiday figure would soon be there.
Children of every race, creed and nationality were resting all snug in their beds
while visions of sugar-free plums danced in their heads
when out on the lawn there rose such a clatter
I got up out of bed to see what was the matter
(and to see who was violating the neighborhood sound level ordinance).
But what to my wondering eyes did appear?
An emissions free vehicle and eight sized challenged reindeer.
'Holiday figure' was so lively and quick.
I knew in a moment it must be, well, holiday figure.
He had a broad but normal face and an advanced sized belly
and he laughed "lady of the evening, lady of the evening, lady of the evening!!"
(we can't even say "Ho, Ho, Ho" anymore!!)

Heelloooo??? His name is Santie Claus and he cracks deer with a horse whip, breaks in to people's houses, drinks rum and eggnog and looks like Uncle Jesse from Dukes of Hazard!!! Get over it!!

[DennisAJC]

Apperantly you can get away with "Santa`s Booty Call" in some school libraries.

[MovinH2]

<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">(we can't even say "Ho, Ho, Ho" anymore!!) </div></BLOCKQUOTE>


So true, and yet so sad.

[h2co-pilot]

'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the land
not a creature was stirring, just yer damn hand.
Jennifer was hung and she didn't care,
but hopes that no one would find it was there.



The members were nestled all snug at their desks,
and visions of good posts danced in their heads.
And Jen in her 'kerchief, with bawls in her lap,
had just settled down for a long forum's nap.



When out on the general section arose a clatter,
I sprang from my desk to see what was the matter.
Away from the screen I flew like a flash,
it was "Jennifer: the wang carrying troll" posting with panache.

[Dan]

Now that's some funny sh!t right there!

[TootsSUT]

<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">Originally posted by Alec W:
Actually I am totally for this change.

The name should also change to "Twas any Night Before the Holiday Season".

I also have a problem with holiday trees in public places.

If you want a dead tree with lights on it put it in your living room and close the damn drapes.


What right do people have to force thier holiday beliefs at me? </div></BLOCKQUOTE>

The funny thing is that the tradition of decorating a tree originaly started from pagans in forests running around naked, enjoying nature and once a year they would do this decorating thing (right around winter solstice time?) and than they would all have sex together after. Sort of ironic. It had nothing to do with being Christian. The christians back then decided that looked like fun (excluding the sex part after) and took on the tradition for their own holiday.

Santa Claus came from Germany and also has nothing to do with any specific sort of christian religion. He's just supposed to drop down a chimney somewhere and give goodies to kids for the fun of it. Strange but it puts a smile on kid's faces.

It's when you get in to putting crosses up on public or government land where it gets a little complicated. What private owners want to do with their own little piece of the world is one thing. When a government building pushes a specific religion by decoration is another.

Just my thoughts.

[h2co-pilot]

A friend of mine in highschool did a fascinating piece on the origins of Holiday decoration. It was very interesting.

[Ed G.]

Who gives a flying fu@# what Christmas trees meant to some freeks hundreds of years ago and who gives a rats ass about where the idea for Santa Claus came from. For over 200 years Christmas, with Santa and Jesus, has been an American Tradition. If you don't like it, get the hell out and go back to your great 3rd world country.

[PARAGON]

<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">Originally posted by h2co-pilot:
'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the land
not a creature was stirring, just yer damn hand.
Jennifer was hung and she didn't care,
but hopes that no one would find it was there.



The members were nestled all snug at their desks,
and visions of good posts danced in their heads.
And Jen in her 'kerchief, with bawls in her lap,
had just settled down for a long forum's nap.



When out on the general section arose a clatter,
I sprang from my desk to see what was the matter.
Away from the screen I flew like a flash,
it was "Jennifer: the wang carrying troll" posting with panache. </div></BLOCKQUOTE>Where's the damn clappity smiley.

I laughed so hard I had to read it twice.

[PARAGON]

<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">Originally posted by Jennifer:
<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">Originally posted by Alec W:
Actually I am totally for this change.

The name should also change to "Twas any Night Before the Holiday Season".

I also have a problem with holiday trees in public places.

If you want a dead tree with lights on it put it in your living room and close the damn drapes.


What right do people have to force thier holiday beliefs at me? </div></BLOCKQUOTE>

The funny thing is that the tradition of decorating a tree originaly started from pagans in forests running around naked, enjoying nature and once a year they would do this decorating thing (right around winter solstice time?) and than they would all have sex together after. Sort of ironic. It had nothing to do with being Christian. The christians back then decided that looked like fun (excluding the sex part after) and took on the tradition for their own holiday.

Santa Claus came from Germany and also has nothing to do with any specific sort of christian religion. He's just supposed to drop down a chimney somewhere and give goodies to kids for the fun of it. Strange but it puts a smile on kid's faces.

It's when you get in to putting crosses up on public or government land where it gets a little complicated. What private owners want to do with their own little piece of the world is one thing. When a government building pushes a specific religion by decoration is another.

Just my thoughts. </div></BLOCKQUOTE>You're in Chatsworth? Did you start the fire with your pagan sex dance in the forest.

[TootsSUT]

Whoa! Wait a minute. I think Ed and Paragon misunderstood my post. I was just commenting to Alec's post where he said "What right do people have to force their holiday beliefs at me". I was explaining that the original origins of both decorating a tree and Santa Claus originaly had (past tense) nothing to do with a religion. I thought that it was ironic that it has turned in to a religious symble and now people are upset about it.

Ed, I do like the tradition as is obvious by my original comical (and sarcastic) post. Maybe I wasn't so clear about that when I wrote my second post or maybe you thought I was someone else when you read the post.

Paragon, I'm going to assume (you know what that means and I hope that's not the case! ) that you were being funny. No fire included with my sex dances. Sorry! And, no, I'm not a pagan!

Co-Pilot, what was your friend's findings? Seriously, I'm curious!! This kinda stuff intrigues me.

[TootsSUT]

<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">Originally posted by Alec W:
<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">Originally posted by Jennifer:
[quote]Originally posted by Alec W:
Actually I am totally for this change.

The name should also change to "Twas any Night Before the Holiday Season".

I also have a problem with holiday trees in public places.

If you want a dead tree with lights on it put it in your living room and close the damn drapes.


What right do people have to force thier holiday beliefs at me? </div></BLOCKQUOTE>

The funny thing is that the tradition of decorating a tree originaly started from pagans in forests running around naked, enjoying nature and once a year they would do this decorating thing (right around winter solstice time?) and than they would all have sex together after. Sort of ironic. It had nothing to do with being Christian. The christians back then decided that looked like fun (excluding the sex part after) and took on the tradition for their own holiday.

Santa Claus came from Germany and also has nothing to do with any specific sort of christian religion. He's just supposed to drop down a chimney somewhere and give goodies to kids for the fun of it. Strange but it puts a smile on kid's faces.

It's when you get in to putting crosses up on public or government land where it gets a little complicated. What private owners want to do with their own little piece of the world is one thing. When a government building pushes a specific religion by decoration is another.

Just my thoughts. </div></BLOCKQUOTE>
Response to: Lots of words. Did you answer my question? by Alec.

I did but the last paragraph was not very specific. Here ya go! NOBODY!!

I don't mind church goers but I don't like it when they try to talk me in to going to their church to save my soul!!

I don't like it when the government gets in the way per my last paragraph.

I thinks it's fair for someone who owns their own home to decorate it however they want but I don't think it's fair for them to go over to their neighbor's house and decorate it in the same way without permission!!

I like Santa Claus and a decorated tree in my house but I'm not telling you to like them. I promise!!

Is that a better answer?

[TootsSUT]

<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">Originally posted by Alec W:
<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">Originally posted by Jennifer:
Santa Claus came from Germany... Strange but it puts a smile on kid's faces.
</div></BLOCKQUOTE>
I read that most fake Santas are child molesters. I won't let my kids near any of those white bearded freaks. </div></BLOCKQUOTE>


LMAO!!! I just like the one that buys the presents and puts them under the tree!! Oh, I guess that would be me, huh????

We need more smileys to choose from in this forum!!!

[h2co-pilot]

<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">Originally posted by Jennifer:
Co-Pilot, what was your friend's findings? Seriously, I'm curious!! This kinda stuff intrigues me. </div></BLOCKQUOTE>

I'm sure it does, I just looked up pictures of Wang and he came up. I thought it looked like a school picture.

[TootsSUT]

<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">Originally posted by Alec W:
<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">Originally posted by Jennifer:
don't mind church goers but I don't like it when they try to talk me in to going to their church to save my soul!!
</div></BLOCKQUOTE>
blasphemy, you will rot in hell IF YOU BELIEVE IN HELL. POT CALLING THE KETTLE BLACK?

<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">Originally posted by Jennifer:
I don't like it when the government...
</div></BLOCKQUOTE>
One nation under god. Whats wrong with that? Jesus H Christ get with the program. HEARD OF SEPERATION OF CHURCH AND STATE?? I THINK I KNOW THE PROGRAM. CHECK THE FEDERALIST PAPERS.

<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">Originally posted by Jennifer:
I thinks it's fair for someone who owns their own home to decorate it however they want
</div></BLOCKQUOTE>
Agreed, but close the drapes IT'S MY HOUSE. I DON'T HAVE TO AND YOU SHOULDN'T BE PEEKING IN MY WINDOWS ANYWAY, DRAPES OPEN OR CLOSED!

<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">Originally posted by Jennifer:
I like Santa Claus and a decorated tree in my house
</div></BLOCKQUOTE>
So is it ok to kill trees in the Pac Nor West where the spotted owls live? There nearly extinct you know. I GROW AND CUT MY OWN TREES ON MY OWN PROPERTY. LAST TIME I CHECKED, I DIDN'T SEE ANY SPOTTED OWLS LIVING IN THEM.


I rest my case </div></BLOCKQUOTE> CASE NEEDS A WORK OUT SO I WOKE IT UP!

TRIED TO PLAY NICE!! JUST DOESN'T WORK YOU GUYS.