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01-16-2007, 11:45 PM
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Hummer Guru
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Join Date: Dec 2002
Location: Anywhere you're not!
Posts: 5,006
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Breaking news
Breaking news!!! Chilled Vancouver commuters faced their second day of winter hell today, as an additional 1/8 centimetre of the peculiar white stuff fell, bringing the Lower Mainland to its knees and causing millions of dollars worth of damage to the marijuana crops. Scientists suspect that the substance is some form of frozen water particles, and experts from Saskatchewan are being flown in. With temperatures dipping to the almost but not quite near zero degree Celsius mark, Vancouverites were warned to double-insulate their toques before venturing out.
Vancouver police warned that except for emergencies, such as running out of latte or biscotti, people stay inside if at all possible to ride out Vancouver's most terrible storm to date. The local Canadian Tire reported that they had completely sold out of fur-lined sandals. Drivers were cautioned to put their convertible tops up, and several have been shocked to learn that their SUV's actually have four wheel drive, although most have no idea how to use it. Weary commuters faced soggy sushi, and the threat of frozen breast implants. Although Dr. John Blatherwick of the Coastal Health Authority reassured everyone that most breast implants were perfectly safe to 25 below, down-filled bras are flying off the shelves at Mountain Equipment Co-op. "The government has to do something," snarled an angry DennisAJC. "I didn't pay $500,000 for my one-bedroom condo so I could sit around and be treated like someone from Toronto." ***********
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01-16-2007, 11:48 PM
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Hummer Deity
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Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: In the basement of the Alamo
Posts: 10,855
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Re: Breaking news
He said snarled.
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01-17-2007, 05:41 AM
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Hummer Authority
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Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: Cape Canaveral
Posts: 1,808
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Re: Breaking news
Quote:
Originally Posted by h2co-pilot
He said snarled.
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__________________
Theres a hole in my head, where the rain comes in
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01-17-2007, 05:46 AM
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Hummer Guru
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Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: I CAN BARELY SEE THE ROAD...
Posts: 4,624
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Re: Breaking news
__________________
Black Sheep Hummer Squadron
( CenCal Chapter - Me, Myself, and I )
"OBAMA......Making Jimmy Carter LOOK GOOD!"
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01-17-2007, 06:08 AM
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Hummer Messiah
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Join Date: Nov 2002
Location: PDX
Posts: 2,367,817
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Re: Breaking news
Quote:
Originally Posted by h2co-pilot
He said snarled.
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I don't think he was talking about your pubes.
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01-17-2007, 06:44 AM
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Hummer Guru
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Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: Out West
Posts: 2,539
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Re: Breaking news
Ohhhhhhhh hahahahahahahha!!!!!!!!!!
__________________
2008 H2 Graystone Metallic
2006 H3 Black (sold)
previously known as Hmmm3
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01-17-2007, 06:59 AM
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Hummer Messiah
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Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: ENRAGEMENT FOR HIRE
Posts: 31,286
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Re: Breaking news
ARRRRRRR!!!!!!! Turds the lot of ya!
__________________
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My advice to you is get married: if you find a good wife you'll be happy; if not, you'll become a philosopher.
My Video Collectionez
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01-17-2007, 06:26 PM
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Hummer Messiah
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Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: Virginia Beach
Posts: 37,474
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Re: Breaking news
They're ok in town. They've got a Starbucks every two stores to keep your hands warm.
__________________
"My reading of history convinces me that most bad government results from too much government."---Thomas Jefferson
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