YOU KNOW YOU OWN A HUMMER WHEN...

[MDimitri]

...Other cars quickly scatter out of the way when they see you in their rear-view.
...You don't measure fuel efficiency by miles per gallon, but rather gallons per mile.
...Military personnel salute you as you drive by.
...It’s so large that a dropped wrench will slowly orbit around it.
...Even Kragen Auto can't supply you with wiper blade replacements.
...It weighs more than an RV.
...When you return from shopping, you find it has nose and handprints all over the glass.
...Its brake disks are large enough to cook pizzas on.
...You can't reach far enough to slap the person sitting in the passenger seat.
...Police and highway patrol pull you over just to ask you questions about your car.
...The cup holders appear to have been designed by Russian scientists for use on the Mir Space Station.
...Transporting the service manual requires you to increase your tire pressure due to the additional weight.
...An entire class period can be disrupted by simply driving it into the school parking lot.
...The drive-thru lane at McDonalds is wider now than when you had entered.
...Complete strangers appear from nowhere and invite you on hunting trips.
...Annoyances like curbs, speed bumps and fire hydrants are no longer a nuisance.
...You come to the conclusion that Miss Manners has done a lousy job based on the number of people who point their fingers at you.
...Jeep owners avoid looking at you.
...The center console is larger than a Buick trunk.
...The glove box is smaller than a Toyota coin tray.
...Your left knee has a perpetual bruise on it from pressing against the window control.
...Your wife refuses to drive it.
...Your wife refuses to let you drive it.
...You now find khaki and camouflage clothing fashionable.
...Your two-car garage has become a one-car garage.
...You have 7 clever ways of replying to the question, "How much did it cost? " without telling them how much it cost.
...You find that two "compact" parking places are better than one standard parking place.
...You purchase a massive stereo amplification system just so you can hear the stereo.
...It’s larger than your friend's apartment.
...The service manuals cost more than your first car did.
...New one cost's more than your first Condo.
...Rancho,Edelbrock,Lift Kits,GPS,Dynomax, 315/70R/17, become the new family topic's of Conversation.
...Folding mirrors are no longer an option they are a must have.
...Looking for a train horn to replace factory ones.
...Sunroof is as big as the roof of a Smart Car.
...Your rear window tags read "MOBILE NUCLEAR FALLOUT SHELTER"
...You now notice signs posting "Bridge Height Restrictions".
...Underground parkades scare the crap out of you.
...Your hand falls asleep on the hand rest of your stick shift.
...You have GOBI's phone number memorized
...The word's "Bling" and "Blacked Out" are used daily.
...For holidays you look for OHV trails and mud.

[H2Buff]

Your tire guy just bought a second home.

[DennisAJC]

...You now find khaki and camouflage clothing fashionable.

I know an ass crack that loves wearing that sh!t.

[KenP]

Originally Posted by DennisAJC

...You now find khaki and camouflage clothing fashionable.

I know an ass crack that loves wearing that sh!t.

WITH A THONG!!!!!1

[MDimitri]

Originally Posted by KenP

WITH A THONG!!!!!1

Or a shackle hanging from the rear!

[DennisAJC]

Originally Posted by KenP

WITH A THONG!!!!!1

DING! DING! DING! Tell him what he's won Chuck!!!!!!

[LoLo]

...you can switch lanes whenever you want -- the other cars will get out of the way! (for fear that you cannot see them... )

[Albie]

you can pass traffic by using a dirt road..........

[CO Hummer]

Originally Posted by KenP

WITH A THONG!!!!!1

Agreed!

[DRTYFN]

**coughcoughCOisafagcoughcough**

[GLBLWARMR]

other drivers keep telling you that you are #1.

[Fastest H-Town Realtor]

You don't need a set of those gheyazz truck testicles to show the testosterone level of your ride...

While the hater is giving you go to hell looks, his chick is winking at you...

Someone giving you a "brake check" makes you stomp the gas. Damn their eyes get big.

Your wife slaps you because the 2 girls in the sports car are desperately trying for your attention.

The drive thru girl lets you take the food because you forgot your wallet and she knows your truck

The bank teller no longer asks for ID because they know who you are.

Local police wave to you.

Your automaticly the designated driver on office functions.

You gave up long ago trying to stop for those lemmings that pull out in front of you. (One actually drove over the curb to get out of the way!)

The BMW,Benz,etc dealrship salesguys run to you when you get into the lot. With keys.

Motorcyle riders will not cut in front of you at the redlight.

You pass up 5 different homes that were perfect for you and at a giveaway price because the garage doors were doubles.

[Yetti]

Originally Posted by Fastest H-Town Realtor

You don't need a set of those gheyazz truck testicles to show the testosterone level of your ride...

While the hater is giving you go to hell looks, his chick is winking at you...

Someone giving you a "brake check" makes you stomp the gas. Damn their eyes get big.

Your wife slaps you because the 2 girls in the sports car are desperately trying for your attention.

The drive thru girl lets you take the food because you forgot your wallet and she knows your truck

The bank teller no longer asks for ID because they know who you are.

Local police wave to you.

Your automaticly the designated driver on office functions.

You gave up long ago trying to stop for those lemmings that pull out in front of you. (One actually drove over the curb to get out of the way!)

The BMW,Benz,etc dealrship salesguys run to you when you get into the lot. With keys.

Motorcyle riders will not cut in front of you at the redlight.

You pass up 5 different homes that were perfect for you and at a giveaway price because the garage doors were doubles.

I have tested many of these out and they pretty much true. I have how ever avoided the city where I got my first flipoff. so I haven't had to run anyone off the road in awhile.
and yes the cops in my town all wave...so does the fire cheif.

[johndjmix1]

You hate the preset $50 limits on the gas pumps since it never gives you a full tank.

Sorry guys...I had to.

--John

[KenP]

Originally Posted by johndjmix1

You hate the preset $50 limits on the gas pumps since it never gives you a full tank.

Sorry guys...I had to.

--John

Even with limits up to $75, you still can't get a full tank.

[H2Blondie]

...you pull up to the Volunteer Fire Department and they want to ride with you instead of taking the fire truck!

[KenP]

Originally Posted by H2Blondie

...you pull up to the Volunteer Fire Department and they want to ride with you instead of taking the fire truck!

Still with Tower? How are things going for you? It's been awhile.

[DennisAJC]

Didn't her and Tower get married?

Or did DRTY barter better with a winch bumper.

[DRTYFN]

Originally Posted by DennisAJC

Didn't her and Tower get married?

Or did DRTY barter better with a winch bumper.

Report to HQ for update.

[ckhagman]

I couldn't remember where I saw that list from but found it again on wikipedia.

www.i3ds.com/hummer