JamesT
08-11-2006, 05:12 PM
>How many men does it take to open a beer?
>None. It should be opened when she brings it
>-------------------------------------------------------------------!
>Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman?
>Because a woman who can't even afford a washing machine will probably
>never be able to support you.
>--------------------------------------------------------------------
>Why do women have smaller feet than men?
>It's one of those "evolutionary things" that allows them to stand
>closer to the kitchen sink.
>-----------------------------------! --------------------------------
>How do you know when a woman is a bout to say something smart?
>When she starts a sentence with "A man once told me..."
>-------------------------------------------------------------------
>How do you fix a woman's watch?
>You don't. There is a clock on the oven.
>-------------------------------------------------------------------
>Why do men fart more than women?
>Because women can't shut up long enough to build up the required
>pressure.
>-------------------------------------------------------------------
>If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the
>front door, who do you let in first?
>The dog, of course. He'll shut up once you let him in.
>-------------------------------------------------------------------
>What's worse than a Male Chauvinist Pig?
>A woman who won't do what she's told
>-------------------------------------------------------------------
>I married a Miss Right.
>I just didn't know her first name was Always.
>-------------------------------------------------------------------
>Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes a woman's sex drive
>by 90%.
>It's called a Wedding Cake.
>-------------------------------------------------------------------
>Why do men die before their wives?
>They want to.
>---------------! ----------------------------------------------------
>Women will never be equal to men
>
>until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut,
>and still think they are sexy.
>-------------------------------------------------------------------
>In the beginning, God created the earth and rested.
>Then God created Man and rested.
>Then God created Woman.
>Since then, neither God nor Man has rested.
>-------------------------------------------------------------------
>Send this to a few good men who need a laugh and to the select few
>women who can handle the truth !
>None. It should be opened when she brings it
>-------------------------------------------------------------------!
>Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman?
>Because a woman who can't even afford a washing machine will probably
>never be able to support you.
>--------------------------------------------------------------------
>Why do women have smaller feet than men?
>It's one of those "evolutionary things" that allows them to stand
>closer to the kitchen sink.
>-----------------------------------! --------------------------------
>How do you know when a woman is a bout to say something smart?
>When she starts a sentence with "A man once told me..."
>-------------------------------------------------------------------
>How do you fix a woman's watch?
>You don't. There is a clock on the oven.
>-------------------------------------------------------------------
>Why do men fart more than women?
>Because women can't shut up long enough to build up the required
>pressure.
>-------------------------------------------------------------------
>If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the
>front door, who do you let in first?
>The dog, of course. He'll shut up once you let him in.
>-------------------------------------------------------------------
>What's worse than a Male Chauvinist Pig?
>A woman who won't do what she's told
>-------------------------------------------------------------------
>I married a Miss Right.
>I just didn't know her first name was Always.
>-------------------------------------------------------------------
>Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes a woman's sex drive
>by 90%.
>It's called a Wedding Cake.
>-------------------------------------------------------------------
>Why do men die before their wives?
>They want to.
>---------------! ----------------------------------------------------
>Women will never be equal to men
>
>until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut,
>and still think they are sexy.
>-------------------------------------------------------------------
>In the beginning, God created the earth and rested.
>Then God created Man and rested.
>Then God created Woman.
>Since then, neither God nor Man has rested.
>-------------------------------------------------------------------
>Send this to a few good men who need a laugh and to the select few
>women who can handle the truth !