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Go Back   Hummer Forums by Elcova > ETC. Forums > General Off Topic

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  #1  
Old 03-21-2006, 08:09 PM
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Due to the climate of political correctness now pervading America, Kentuckians, Tennesseans and West Virginians will no longer be referred to as "HILLBILLIES."

You must now refer to them as APPALACHIAN-AMERICANS.



And furthermore ....

HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT WOMEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:

1. She is not a "BABE" or a "CHICK" - She is a "BREASTED AMERICAN."

2. She is not a "SCREAMER" or a "MOANER" - She is "VOCALLY APPRECIATIVE."

3. She is not "EASY" - She is "HORIZONTALLY ACCESSIBLE."

4. She is not a "DUMB BLONDE" - She is a "LIGHT-HAIRED DETOUR OFF THE INFORMATION SUPERHIGHWAY."

5. She has not "BEEN AROUND" - She is a "PREVIOUSLY-ENJOYED COMPANION."

6. She is not an "AIRHEAD" - She is "REALITY IMPAIRED."

7. She does not get "DRUNK" or "TIPSY" - She gets "CHEMICALLY INCONVENIENCED"

8. She does not have "BREAST IMPLANTS" - She is "MEDICALLY ENHANCED."

9. She does not "NAG" you - She becomes "VERBALLY REPETITIVE."

10. She is not a "TRAMP" - She is "SEXUALLY EXTROVERTED."

11. She does not have "MAJOR LEAGUE HOOTERS" - She is "PECTORALLY SUPERIOR."

12. She is not a "TWO-BIT HOOKER" - She is a "LOW COST PROVIDER."



HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT MEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:
1. He does not have a "BEER GUT" - He has developed a "LIQUID GRAIN STORAGE FACILITY."

2. He is not a "BAD DANCER" - He is "OVERLY CAUCASIAN."

3. He does not "GET LOST ALL THE TIME" - He "INVESTIGATES ALTERNATIVE DESTINATIONS."

4. He is not "BALDING" - He is in "FOLLICLE REGRESSION."

5. He is not a "CRADLE ROBBER" - He prefers "GENERATIONAL DIFFERENTIAL
RELATIONSHIPS."

6. He does not get "FALLING-DOWN DRUNK" - He becomes "ACCIDENTALLY HORIZONTAL."

7. He does not act like a "TOTAL ASS" - He develops a case of "RECTAL-CRANIAL INVERSION."

8. He is not a "MALE CHAUVINIST PIG" - He has "SWINE EMPATHY."

9. He is not afraid of "COMMITMENT" - He is "RELATIONSHIP CHALLENGED."

10. He is not "HORNY" - He is "SEXUALLY FOCUSED."

11. It's not his "CRACK" you see hanging out of his pants - It's "REAR CLEAVAGE"
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  #2  
Old 03-21-2006, 08:23 PM
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LOL good sheet!
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  #3  
Old 03-21-2006, 08:31 PM
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LMAO!!!
This one's for Edspad

Quote:
1. She is not a "BABE" or a "CHICK" - She is a "BREASTED AMERICAN."
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  #4  
Old 03-21-2006, 08:38 PM
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I can't take the credit...someone forwarded it to me earlier today.

But it is hilarious!!!

LC
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Old 03-21-2006, 08:45 PM
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Quote:
2. He is not a "BAD DANCER" - He is "OVERLY CAUCASIAN."

Hey, I resemble that remark.
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Old 03-21-2006, 08:47 PM
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heh!
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Old 03-21-2006, 09:06 PM
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Quote:
Originally posted by Sewie:
<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content"> 2. He is not a "BAD DANCER" - He is "OVERLY CAUCASIAN."

Hey, I resemble that remark. </div></BLOCKQUOTE>

Still attempting the "cabbage patch"???


LMAO!!! thats a great visual
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  #8  
Old 03-21-2006, 09:12 PM
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Quote:
Originally posted by HummBebe:
<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">Originally posted by Sewie:
<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content"> 2. He is not a "BAD DANCER" - He is "OVERLY CAUCASIAN."

Hey, I resemble that remark. </div></BLOCKQUOTE>

Still attempting the "cabbage patch"???


LMAO!!! thats a great visual </div></BLOCKQUOTE>

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  #9  
Old 03-21-2006, 09:33 PM
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Funny list.
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  #10  
Old 03-21-2006, 11:00 PM
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ROFLAMO
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  #11  
Old 03-21-2006, 11:30 PM
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Quote:
Originally posted by HummBebe:
<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">Originally posted by Sewie:
<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content"> 2. He is not a "BAD DANCER" - He is "OVERLY CAUCASIAN."

Hey, I resemble that remark. </div></BLOCKQUOTE>

Still attempting the "cabbage patch"???


LMAO!!! thats a great visual </div></BLOCKQUOTE>

You want a visual? You'll see just how white I am on Saturday.

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