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06-16-2006, 06:04 PM
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Hummer Expert
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Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: The Great White North!
Posts: 527
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YOU KNOW YOU OWN A HUMMER WHEN...
...Other cars quickly scatter out of the way when they see you in their rear-view.
...You don't measure fuel efficiency by miles per gallon, but rather gallons per mile.
...Military personnel salute you as you drive by.
...It’s so large that a dropped wrench will slowly orbit around it.
...Even Kragen Auto can't supply you with wiper blade replacements.
...It weighs more than an RV.
...When you return from shopping, you find it has nose and handprints all over the glass.
...Its brake disks are large enough to cook pizzas on.
...You can't reach far enough to slap the person sitting in the passenger seat.
...Police and highway patrol pull you over just to ask you questions about your car.
...The cup holders appear to have been designed by Russian scientists for use on the Mir Space Station.
...Transporting the service manual requires you to increase your tire pressure due to the additional weight.
...An entire class period can be disrupted by simply driving it into the school parking lot.
...The drive-thru lane at McDonalds is wider now than when you had entered.
...Complete strangers appear from nowhere and invite you on hunting trips.
...Annoyances like curbs, speed bumps and fire hydrants are no longer a nuisance.
...You come to the conclusion that Miss Manners has done a lousy job based on the number of people who point their fingers at you.
...Jeep owners avoid looking at you.
...The center console is larger than a Buick trunk.
...The glove box is smaller than a Toyota coin tray.
...Your left knee has a perpetual bruise on it from pressing against the window control.
...Your wife refuses to drive it.
...Your wife refuses to let you drive it.
...You now find khaki and camouflage clothing fashionable.
...Your two-car garage has become a one-car garage.
...You have 7 clever ways of replying to the question, "How much did it cost? " without telling them how much it cost.
...You find that two "compact" parking places are better than one standard parking place.
...You purchase a massive stereo amplification system just so you can hear the stereo.
...It’s larger than your friend's apartment.
...The service manuals cost more than your first car did.
...New one cost's more than your first Condo.
...Rancho,Edelbrock,Lift Kits,GPS,Dynomax, 315/70R/17, become the new family topic's of Conversation.
...Folding mirrors are no longer an option they are a must have.
...Looking for a train horn to replace factory ones.
...Sunroof is as big as the roof of a Smart Car.
...Your rear window tags read "MOBILE NUCLEAR FALLOUT SHELTER"
...You now notice signs posting "Bridge Height Restrictions".
...Underground parkades scare the crap out of you.
...Your hand falls asleep on the hand rest of your stick shift.
...You have GOBI's phone number memorized
...The word's "Bling" and "Blacked Out" are used daily.
...For holidays you look for OHV trails and mud.
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06-16-2006, 06:15 PM
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Hummer Veteran
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Join Date: Jan 2006
Posts: 57
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Re: YOU KNOW YOU OWN A HUMMER WHEN...
Your tire guy just bought a second home.
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06-16-2006, 06:28 PM
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Hummer Messiah
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Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: ENRAGEMENT FOR HIRE
Posts: 31,286
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Re: YOU KNOW YOU OWN A HUMMER WHEN...
...You now find khaki and camouflage clothing fashionable.
I know an ass crack that loves wearing that sh!t.
__________________
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My advice to you is get married: if you find a good wife you'll be happy; if not, you'll become a philosopher.
My Video Collectionez
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06-16-2006, 06:38 PM
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Hummer Messiah
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Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: Virginia Beach
Posts: 37,474
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Re: YOU KNOW YOU OWN A HUMMER WHEN...
Quote:
Originally Posted by DennisAJC
...You now find khaki and camouflage clothing fashionable.
I know an ass crack that loves wearing that sh!t.
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WITH A THONG!!!!!1
__________________
"My reading of history convinces me that most bad government results from too much government."---Thomas Jefferson
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06-16-2006, 07:09 PM
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Hummer Expert
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Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: The Great White North!
Posts: 527
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Re: YOU KNOW YOU OWN A HUMMER WHEN...
Quote:
Originally Posted by KenP
WITH A THONG!!!!!1
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Or a shackle hanging from the rear!
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06-16-2006, 07:19 PM
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Hummer Messiah
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Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: ENRAGEMENT FOR HIRE
Posts: 31,286
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Re: YOU KNOW YOU OWN A HUMMER WHEN...
Quote:
Originally Posted by KenP
WITH A THONG!!!!!1
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DING! DING! DING! Tell him what he's won Chuck!!!!!!
__________________
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My advice to you is get married: if you find a good wife you'll be happy; if not, you'll become a philosopher.
My Video Collectionez
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06-17-2006, 04:02 AM
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Hummer Professional
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Join Date: May 2005
Location: Texas
Posts: 344
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Re: YOU KNOW YOU OWN A HUMMER WHEN...
...you can switch lanes whenever you want -- the other cars will get out of the way! (for fear that you cannot see them... )
__________________
___________________
05 Desert Sand H2 Adv
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06-17-2006, 06:20 AM
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Hummer Messiah
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Join Date: Feb 2003
Location: Federal penitentiary
Posts: 21,046
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Re: YOU KNOW YOU OWN A HUMMER WHEN...
Quote:
Originally Posted by KenP
WITH A THONG!!!!!1
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Agreed!
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06-17-2006, 06:29 AM
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Hummer Messiah
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Join Date: Nov 2002
Location: PDX
Posts: 2,367,817
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Re: YOU KNOW YOU OWN A HUMMER WHEN...
**coughcoughCOisafagcoughcough**
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06-19-2006, 09:47 PM
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Hummer Professional
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Join Date: Feb 2006
Posts: 368
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Re: YOU KNOW YOU OWN A HUMMER WHEN...
You hate the preset $50 limits on the gas pumps since it never gives you a full tank.
Sorry guys...I had to.
--John
__________________
2006 Hummer H2 Lux Series
www.JohnHasMoreFun.com
1/4 Mile 15.29@91.34mph
Mods:
Magnusun Radix Supercharger!!!
Switch to allow full Nav Controls while moving
Warn 9.5 Winch
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06-19-2006, 10:09 PM
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Hummer Messiah
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Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: Virginia Beach
Posts: 37,474
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Re: YOU KNOW YOU OWN A HUMMER WHEN...
Quote:
Originally Posted by johndjmix1
You hate the preset $50 limits on the gas pumps since it never gives you a full tank.
Sorry guys...I had to.
--John
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Even with limits up to $75, you still can't get a full tank.
__________________
"My reading of history convinces me that most bad government results from too much government."---Thomas Jefferson
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06-20-2006, 05:04 AM
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Hummer Veteran
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Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: Hells Gate, Texas
Posts: 201
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Re: YOU KNOW YOU OWN A HUMMER WHEN...
...you pull up to the Volunteer Fire Department and they want to ride with you instead of taking the fire truck!
__________________
2008 Black H2
Money may not buy happiness, but it makes a nice down payment!
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06-20-2006, 06:46 AM
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Hummer Messiah
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Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: Virginia Beach
Posts: 37,474
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Re: YOU KNOW YOU OWN A HUMMER WHEN...
Quote:
Originally Posted by H2Blondie
...you pull up to the Volunteer Fire Department and they want to ride with you instead of taking the fire truck!
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Still with Tower? How are things going for you? It's been awhile.
__________________
"My reading of history convinces me that most bad government results from too much government."---Thomas Jefferson
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06-20-2006, 07:20 AM
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Hummer Messiah
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Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: ENRAGEMENT FOR HIRE
Posts: 31,286
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Re: YOU KNOW YOU OWN A HUMMER WHEN...
Didn't her and Tower get married?
Or did DRTY barter better with a winch bumper.
__________________
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My advice to you is get married: if you find a good wife you'll be happy; if not, you'll become a philosopher.
My Video Collectionez
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