Cop Shi't

[Harley]

The following 15 Police Comments were taken off actual police car videos around the United States:

#15 "Relax, the handcuffs are tight because they're new. They'll stretch out after you wear them awhile."

#14 "Take your hands off the car, and I'll make your birth certificate a worthless document."

#13 "If you run, you'll only go to jail tired."

#12 "Can you run faster than 1200 feet per second? In case you didn't know, that is the average speed of a 9mm bullet fired from my gun."

#11 "So you don't know how fast you were going. I guess that means I can write anything I want on the ticket, huh?"

#10 "Yes, Sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor, but I don't think it will help. Oh, did I mention that I am the shift supervisor?"

#9 "Warning! You want a warning? O. K., I'm warning you not to do that again or I'll give you another ticket."

#8 "The answer to this last question will determine whether you are drunk or not. Was Mickey Mouse a cat or a dog?"

#7 "Fair? You want me to be fair? Listen, fair is a place where you go to ride on rides, eat cotton candy, and step in monkey DOO."

#6 "Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets and my wife gets a toaster oven."

#5 "In God we trust, all others we run through NCIC."

#4 "Just how big were those two beers?"

#3 "No sir we don't have quotas anymore. We used to have quotas but now we're allowed to write as many tickets as we want."

#2 "I'm glad to hear the Chief of Police is a good personal friend of yours. At least you know someone who can post your bail."

#1 "You didn't think we give pretty women tickets? You're right 'mam, we don't. Sign here.

[Harley]

The following 15 Police Comments were taken off actual police car videos around the United States:

#15 "Relax, the handcuffs are tight because they're new. They'll stretch out after you wear them awhile."

#14 "Take your hands off the car, and I'll make your birth certificate a worthless document."

#13 "If you run, you'll only go to jail tired."

#12 "Can you run faster than 1200 feet per second? In case you didn't know, that is the average speed of a 9mm bullet fired from my gun."

#11 "So you don't know how fast you were going. I guess that means I can write anything I want on the ticket, huh?"

#10 "Yes, Sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor, but I don't think it will help. Oh, did I mention that I am the shift supervisor?"

#9 "Warning! You want a warning? O. K., I'm warning you not to do that again or I'll give you another ticket."

#8 "The answer to this last question will determine whether you are drunk or not. Was Mickey Mouse a cat or a dog?"

#7 "Fair? You want me to be fair? Listen, fair is a place where you go to ride on rides, eat cotton candy, and step in monkey DOO."

#6 "Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets and my wife gets a toaster oven."

#5 "In God we trust, all others we run through NCIC."

#4 "Just how big were those two beers?"

#3 "No sir we don't have quotas anymore. We used to have quotas but now we're allowed to write as many tickets as we want."

#2 "I'm glad to hear the Chief of Police is a good personal friend of yours. At least you know someone who can post your bail."

#1 "You didn't think we give pretty women tickets? You're right 'mam, we don't. Sign here.

[Sewie]

<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">#8 "The answer to this last question will determine whether you are drunk or not. Was Mickey Mouse a cat or a dog?" </div></BLOCKQUOTE>

Hell, I think I could stump some folks at work with that one.

[Marcmedic]

We use that on drunk patients all the time. Most will answer cat or dog and not even realize it.

[2-H2's]

I'll have to side with sewie on this one...there are people in my world that couldn't answer the question sober

[KenP]

Thanks Harley. Those are really good.

[DDWH]

<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">#6 "Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets and my wife gets a toaster oven." </div></BLOCKQUOTE>

LMAO!

[NEOCON1]

very nice LMAO