Smoked a ricer today

[MattRoberts123]

Well... I was a little cranky this evening, and coming back from a local blockbuster a little rice rocket pulled up next to me at the intersection. It was 2 teenagers, in one of those POS rice racers where the paint is peeling off EVERYWHERE, yet they still think they are REAL hard because they have a spoiler that might help E.T. find his way home and the typical obnoxious exhaust.

Well, typically I won't mess with these guys.. only for the reason that I know their 4 banger imports will beat me just due to size and weight alone.... and I can't stand to give any piece of **** like that the satisfaction of winning, no matter what level.

Well anyways, I started going, and just because I left from a dead stop a second before him... he thought I was trying to race... I thought, WTF. So I reached to turn off the air conditioner and stomped on it... I COULDN'T BELIEVE IT.... I SMOKED HIM. All the way up to 90 he couldn't even keep up with my rear bumper. That exhaust of his was screamin, and he was tryin to show his loser buddy how cool he was... but the fact remains... he got BEAT.. by a stock H2 with 24" wheels and 37" tires. HAHAHAH

I can't believe you could drive a POS like that around, trying to be all showy about how fast and badass your ride is, and a H2 can beat you! This really makes me want to get a supercharger just so I can go around and mess with more of these guys!


Anyways, I just got a good laugh outta the whole deal, thought I would share with everyone!

[eugenebeauxbuton]

i bet he went home with his tail between his legs just wondering how the %$# he got his a$$ stomped by your huge HUMMER haha

picking your battles

[ssgharkness020147]

I beat a sebring once. The kid was pissed, and I'm still trying to figure out how the hell I won.

[HUMMERcustoms.com/TAZ]

The H2 with just some small adjustments and punching the tow/haul button will make the H2 jump with a little quicker step. Dennis calls the tow/haul button His factory supercharger I think it was called. But, He did discover by accident that it changes the tranny shift etc. as it should and made him quicker off the line.

But, pick something like a Vette or a 350Z and it will give a better look at where the H2 rates unless some serious cash is spent on the H2. I bought my 2005 and well of course went right to make it faster, quicker, and well just plain old meaner. My cousin bought a new 2005 Vette not with the upgraded engine but, anyway in a 0 to 60 I left him makin smoke and he never could catch up. I had told him I may could give him a run for his money but, he just laughed at me. I did not tell him I was running around 500HP at the wheels. I did tell him after though. He told me he was never going to take any big rig for granted and especially an H2.

TAZ

[RichS]

[HummBob]

AWESOME Matt!!!

[frenzy1]

Freakin A bro !!! Where I live there are NO hummers and LOOOOTS of little ricers. They're all scared of my truck, 'cause of its size and looks.

Frenzy
Belgium

[cl998]

I dont get the whole rice burner fad. DO these kids actually think their cars look good? Do they think their cars actually look fast?? I know some of them are "quick" but still why would you get a $5000 car and add $10,000 to it. For the money you could get an decent used Vette or even a Boxter.

[mowdoc]

Well this is not Hummer related but certainly is ricer related.

The truck I had before my Hummer was a Duramax diesel that I had spent a lot of time and money on. Last dyno pull was 612hp/893lbs torque. Anyway - one of my favorite things was when a ricer or low rider was on my right at a stop light with his radio vibrating everything I would turn both chips on high and brake boost to around 3 psi. When the light turned green I would launch hard and fill the little fauker's car with heavy black smoke. I have left many just setting and waiting for the smoke to clear from the interior!!

It was too much fun and if they said anything later I would just tell them I did not care for that song they were playing too loud.

My Hummer does not run anywhere near that level and I don't race much anymore but I sure do enjoy driving it (when the wife lets me).

That brings up another issue - how many of you have lost your Hummer to the wife?? When my wife wanted new wheels in 05 I suggested looking at Hummers and she said no way, too big, and all that crap. So in 06 when I bought my H2 I drove it for 3 or 4 days before she took it to work one day. I only get it now if it needs something like service or gas. I drive HER car and she takes MY Hummer??? That's just wrong - huh??

mowdoc

[H2 OHHH!]

I always seem to get in a bad mood from my local Block Buster as well

[mdoyle]

Ditto on the peeling paint on ricers. It seems like most of those kids have never heard of surface prep and flex additives

Most seem to come from the "louder is faster" camp too. Oh well, back when I was in high school in the early 80's, everyone seemed to be running air shocks and cherry bomb exhaust on their Monte Carlos and we thought that was cool.

At least some of them are doing their own wrenching and eventually they'll figure it out after they replace their valvetrain.

[KenP]

I don't like ricers. That is all.

I beat a Ford Lightning with our black one. He had a stage two chip, lower pulley, and some other things done. He should have smoked me, but nope! The crowd at the strip went nuts. It's on video somewhere...

But I still don't like ricers.

Originally Posted by mowdoc

That brings up another issue - how many of you have lost your Hummer to the wife?? When my wife wanted new wheels in 05 I suggested looking at Hummers and she said no way, too big, and all that crap. So in 06 when I bought my H2 I drove it for 3 or 4 days before she took it to work one day. I only get it now if it needs something like service or gas. I drive HER car and she takes MY Hummer??? That's just wrong - huh??

mowdoc

I lost our last one for awhile. CP loved rolling around town in Big Nasty... until I took the side steps off...

So go get a lift and take the steps off.

[DennisAJC]

Originally Posted by HUMMERcustoms.com/TAZ

The H2 with just some small adjustments and punching the tow/haul button will make the H2 jump with a little quicker step. Dennis calls the tow/haul button His factory supercharger I think it was called. But, He did discover by accident that it changes the tranny shift etc. as it should and made him quicker off the line.

TAZ

Yeeeeeees.

[007hum]

I have an 03 H2 and love it to death.

I also love my 05 EVO MR
all wheel drive and fast as hell

This car corners very fast and has tons of power and is fun to drive.

[timgco]

I bet he went to get his rear wing extensions today and new plastic spinners from WAlmart. He'll beat you next time for sure now!

[Fastest H-Town Realtor]

Ricers have a hard time getting beat by a JEEP. One mouthed off about my allegedly having " NAWWWWWWWWWWSSSSSSSSS". I simply explained that his momma wanted her ironing board back off the trunk of his ride.

[mikejr]

my favorite saying about the ricers is.....there goes another POS with a loud fart pipe on it......

[Hummer Aficionado_VT]

Rice boxes= .

[timgco]

I had a nissan 350z for a while. That car was fun!!!!

"RICERS" is suck a broad catagory. you have the POS ones with the big fart pipes. You have the all looks and no go catagory. And than you have the catagory that is just insane!!!!

I lined up with an Elipse against my TL1000R...and almost lost. We were side by side til about 130 and than I barely pulled. INSANE! That was the last time I hammered down like that. There was no wayyyyyy I was going to get beat.

Now it's more fun to swerve at them while in the HUMMER.