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View Full Version : payback is a b#$ch


working Hummer
03-09-2006, 10:33 PM
So, I was over at my folks house yesterday and we were all in the den that has a big picture window facing the street, low and behlold some mid aged lady walking her dog by my truck out in the street decides to stop, open her dog crap bag in her hand and smeer some on the side of the truck. Well my buddy that bought the lime green H2 (posted earlier) was with me and had a good idea, instead of running out there and giving her a tonuge lashing we filled a 5 gallon bucket with water and a butt load of vinegar in it. Caught up to her 2 blocks down and oh my God, like a big red bulls eye, totally hit our mark on completally drenching her. Wow she smelled awfull. Well of couse the police showed up at my house that night and I told them she better drop her charges or I file for property damage. Well all in all none were filed and the lesson learned here is---don't screw with my H2 (oh cool that rymes) and vinegar and water mixed together is a good deterrent but very stinky so don't spill on yourself while dumping on others. http://www.elcova.com/infopop/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif

NewHummerGuy
03-09-2006, 10:38 PM
well, that is some far fetched sounding ****e. but if its all true then GOOD 4 U http://www.elcova.com/infopop/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif

I wouldnt have had the patience of you and would have most likely ran out and done something a little more assenine thus landing myself in jail http://www.elcova.com/infopop/emoticons/icon_eek.gif

GOOD JOB

Ed G.
03-09-2006, 10:53 PM
I take it your'e really into "OVERKILL". How old are you? 16? Makes you look like an ass.

working Hummer
03-09-2006, 10:56 PM
ya I don't know whats going on in my town, iv'e had a rash of tree huggers or something move in. I'm constantly getting fingers and tounge lashings from people here. You know this is the state that recently outlawed abortions.

working Hummer
03-09-2006, 11:00 PM
and Ed G. you don't need to make fun, I'm just telling a funny story that might be interesting to some. By the way 36 so I was just out with a buddy having a little fun.

kodiakz
03-09-2006, 11:18 PM
I take it your'e really into "OVERKILL". How old are you? 16? Makes you look like an ass.
What would you have done??!! Politely thanked her for smearing sh*t on your rig? I agree with Alec on the sheit on the face, but that probably would have landed him in the concrete hilton for assault.

Not tolerating others' lack of foresight does not make one immature, http://www.elcova.com/infopop/emoticons/icon_razz.gifand 2 wrongs doesn't make one right--but it sure as hell feels good to give someone their just desserts!

Goalkeeper
03-09-2006, 11:20 PM
WH -Well Done Dude!! Sometimes, you just gotta give what they've got coming!

Ed - lighten up man...

working Hummer
03-09-2006, 11:31 PM
by the way Alec, my buddy and I are interested in going on one of the excursions you guys go on but being around South Dakota there isn't many places to climb. Can a novice driver keep up on one of the outings? I'm no dope at driving but have a lot to learn I would guess by you guys that always go on those things.

NewHummerGuy
03-09-2006, 11:32 PM
Yeah Alec...you would have been in the cell with me http://www.elcova.com/infopop/emoticons/icon_wink.gif But seriously i couldnt have just watched her do that and then walk away. Smearing dog poo in her face would have been justified and worth the nite in jail. Originally posted by Alec W:
I would have gone down there before she left and smeared the rest of her dogs **** all over her face.

DDWH
03-09-2006, 11:35 PM
Perfect! I don't think I would have been able to hold back in that situation....and would have acted first and thought second = not spending the night in my warm bed.

DennisAJC
03-10-2006, 12:10 AM
BRAVO!!!!!! BRAVO!!!!!!!! http://www.elcova.com/infopop/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif http://www.elcova.com/infopop/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif http://www.elcova.com/infopop/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif

If it were me I would have caught up to her, drag her back to my driveway, shoot her dog, and call the cops. Then explain that the dog attacked you when you tried to intervene on the dung smearing.


Ahhhh **** it. Use bearspray. http://www.elcova.com/infopop/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif



Good job man. http://www.elcova.com/infopop/emoticons/icon_wink.gif

H2Finally
03-10-2006, 12:23 AM
Her being an older person, I would hesitate throwing anything -- even water (lawsuit if she took a spill, fall, and broke her hip or get a heart attack or somethin).

I would instead insist on her washing all the dog poo, and while she's at it -- the rest of the truck, dry it, apply a good coat of wax, buff it, polish my bling wheels, armorall all the black trims, and rain-x all the windows.

I bet the local news crew wouldda showned up at the end of the 5-hours car wash.. http://www.elcova.com/infopop/emoticons/icon_eek.gif http://www.elcova.com/infopop/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif

That way, as many tree-huggers as possible wouldda learn the risk of messing with Hummers!! http://www.elcova.com/infopop/emoticons/icon_mad.gif

working Hummer
03-10-2006, 12:39 AM
bear spray, that's funny as hell if you picture it in your head. http://www.elcova.com/infopop/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif http://www.elcova.com/infopop/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif http://www.elcova.com/infopop/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif http://www.elcova.com/infopop/emoticons/icon_razz.gif

DennisAJC
03-10-2006, 01:03 AM
Originally posted by working Hummer:
bear spray, that's funny as hell if you picture it in your head. http://www.elcova.com/infopop/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif http://www.elcova.com/infopop/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif http://www.elcova.com/infopop/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif http://www.elcova.com/infopop/emoticons/icon_razz.gif

It's not as funny if you've literally done it. http://www.elcova.com/infopop/emoticons/icon_frown.gif http://www.elcova.com/infopop/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif

DennisAJC
03-10-2006, 01:05 AM
Originally posted by H2Finally:
Her being an older person, I would hesitate throwing anything -- even water (lawsuit if she took a spill, fall, and broke her hip or get a heart attack or somethin).

I would instead insist on her washing all the dog poo, and while she's at it -- the rest of the truck, dry it, apply a good coat of wax, buff it, polish my bling wheels, armorall all the black trims, and rain-x all the windows.

I bet the local news crew wouldda showned up at the end of the 5-hours car wash.. http://www.elcova.com/infopop/emoticons/icon_eek.gif http://www.elcova.com/infopop/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif

That way, as many tree-huggers as possible wouldda learn the risk of messing with Hummers!! http://www.elcova.com/infopop/emoticons/icon_mad.gif



....And make her do it topless. http://www.elcova.com/infopop/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif

Nothin sweeter than watchin an old woman sport her pair of fried eggs on nails. http://www.elcova.com/infopop/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif

kodiakz
03-10-2006, 01:13 AM
Nothin sweeter than watchin an old woman sport her pair of fried eggs on nails
Now is that torture for her or for you?!?!! That would be a sore sight indeed---baggy old tits scrubbing sheit off your rig http://www.elcova.com/infopop/emoticons/icon_frown.gif Does that little scene come complete with a barf bag!! http://www.elcova.com/infopop/emoticons/icon_eek.gif

Dug
03-10-2006, 01:21 AM
You did the right thing buddy. I would have prolly gone out and made her lick it off . WOuldnt be the first time i spent the night in the slammer and probably wont be the last. ****ing Bitch.

CO Hummer
03-10-2006, 01:50 AM
Originally posted by Alec W:
I would have gone down there before she left and smeared the rest of her dogs **** all over her face.


http://www.elcova.com/infopop/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif http://www.elcova.com/infopop/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif http://www.elcova.com/infopop/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif. Thanks for getting coffee on my keyboard, Alec. http://www.elcova.com/infopop/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif

CO Hummer
03-10-2006, 01:52 AM
Actually, I think I might have wiped the dog ****e off my H2 using her face. Kills to birds with one stone.

DRTYFN
03-10-2006, 05:07 AM
I would have made her take off her coat and wipe the crap off with it. And if she refused I would have gone Orenthal on her.http://www.elcova.com/infopop/emoticons/icon_wink.gif

MIZZOU H2
03-10-2006, 06:35 PM
I run a business on eBay. In 2005 my ebay fees were less than my paypal fees. what a f-ing joke. gotta have it tho.

Ed G.
03-10-2006, 07:42 PM
["I would have called the cops and blamed every scartch on my truck her and made her pay for a new paint job."]

x2

deicustoms1
03-10-2006, 07:55 PM
Should have followed her home, went to a farm, borrowed a liquid manure spreader and smeared a little poop on her house.

http://img113.imageshack.us/img113/6940/liquidmanure9ps.jpg

DRTYFN
03-10-2006, 07:59 PM
Originally posted by dei???????:
Should have followed her home, went to a farm, borrowed a liquid manure spreader and smeared a little poop on her house.

http://img113.imageshack.us/img113/6940/liquidmanure9ps.jpg

Now that would be worth doing. http://www.elcova.com/infopop/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif

ROX
03-10-2006, 09:05 PM
Originally posted by PhilD:
I would have called the cops and blamed every scartch on my truck her and made her pay for a new paint job. I like that idea right there. I'm saving that one.

working Hummer
03-10-2006, 09:12 PM
Ya but wasn't my bucket of vinegar water a good idea, that had to bring the suck for her. http://www.elcova.com/infopop/emoticons/icon_mad.gif

Sewie
03-10-2006, 09:12 PM
Originally posted by MIZZOU H2:
I run a business on eBay. In 2005 my ebay fees were less than my paypal fees. what a f-ing joke. gotta have it tho.

A little lost are we? http://www.elcova.com/infopop/emoticons/icon_wink.gif http://www.elcova.com/infopop/emoticons/icon_razz.gif

DRTYFN
03-10-2006, 10:20 PM
Originally posted by working Hummer:
Ya but wasn't my bucket of vinegar water a good idea, that had to bring the suck for her. http://www.elcova.com/infopop/emoticons/icon_mad.gif

Actually, you're being told(in the nicest possible way) that your vinegar & water douche idea brought the suck. It's ok... if you stick around here long enough you'll see some really naughty ideas on how to deal with shi<span class="ev_code_BLACK">t</span>asses like that.
Personally, I think you were fibbing.

H2_SUT_SC
03-10-2006, 10:59 PM
Originally posted by Alec W:
I would have gone down there before she left and smeared the rest of her dogs **** all over her face.

Bingo. That's exactly what I thought of when I read that.

DennisAJC
03-10-2006, 11:12 PM
Originally posted by Alec W:
I would have gone down there before she left and smeared the rest of her dogs **** ALL OVER MY FACE.


WTF?????????????? http://www.elcova.com/infopop/emoticons/icon_confused.gif

Adam in CO
03-10-2006, 11:26 PM
Originally posted by Alec W:
I would have gone down there before she left and smeared the rest of her dogs **** all over her face.

"Say Dennis, I want to sleep on your floor tonight." http://www.elcova.com/infopop/emoticons/icon_smile.gif

Klaus
03-11-2006, 12:10 AM
Old folks like to retire to Florida.

Take her on a one-way airboat ride to the middle of the Everglades.

Problem solved...

http://www.mthurricane.com/Gator_10.jpg

ROX
03-13-2006, 04:00 AM
Originally posted by DRTYFN:
I would have made her take off her coat and wipe the crap off with it. And if she refused I would have gone Oral on her.http://www.elcova.com/infopop/emoticons/icon_wink.gif http://www.elcova.com/infopop/emoticons/icon_confused.gif You would. http://www.elcova.com/infopop/emoticons/icon_wink.gif http://www.elcova.com/infopop/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif

DRTYFN
03-13-2006, 04:46 AM
Originally posted by H2 Rocks:
<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">Originally posted by DRTYFN:
I would have made her take off her coat and wipe the crap off with it. And if she refused I would have gone Oral on her.http://www.elcova.com/infopop/emoticons/icon_wink.gif http://www.elcova.com/infopop/emoticons/icon_confused.gif You would. http://www.elcova.com/infopop/emoticons/icon_wink.gif http://www.elcova.com/infopop/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif </div></BLOCKQUOTE>

Stop fantasizing.http://www.elcova.com/infopop/emoticons/icon_wink.gifhttp://www.elcova.com/infopop/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif

KenP
03-13-2006, 04:56 AM
Originally posted by dei???????:
Should have followed her home, went to a farm, borrowed a liquid manure spreader and smeared a little poop on her house.

http://img113.imageshack.us/img113/6940/liquidmanure9ps.jpg Seen that done in England by farmers pissed about whatever it is they get pissed at. http://www.elcova.com/infopop/emoticons/icon_rolleyes.gif http://www.elcova.com/infopop/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif

HummBob
03-13-2006, 07:24 AM
Originally posted by KenP:
<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">Originally posted by dei???????:
Should have followed her home, went to a farm, borrowed a liquid manure spreader and smeared a little poop on her house.

http://img113.imageshack.us/img113/6940/liquidmanure9ps.jpg Seen that done in England by farmers pissed about whatever it is they get pissed at. http://www.elcova.com/infopop/emoticons/icon_rolleyes.gif http://www.elcova.com/infopop/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif </div></BLOCKQUOTE>

http://www.elcova.com/infopop/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gifPriceless