"1st time off-road"
- uhh, I hate to tell you...1 tire is still on the road.
"going into ditch - Locked Diff"
- your still not off-road
"Uphill fromditch to field"
- seriously, golf carts tackle bigger obstacles
"Climbing out of ditch"
- that wasn't a ditch, it was a speedbump
"Looking back into ditch."
- did you notice, it wasn't a ditch? and you aren't off road?
"Back to the road"
"4 LO with locked diff crawls like a baby!"
- and gets stuck on its own diaper in a pyle of its on poo
"The hill was a little too easy, let's try mud"
- no ****, it was a grassy hill that you admited to getting mowed
"Ahhh No Problem, It's a Hummer"
- marketing fluff don't mean ****, bring your ride further than 5 feet from the pavement
"Lesson 1: Never park in a mud hole to take a photo, keep the wheels rolling!"
- really, a 6000# pig riding on 31x10.50's doesn't float?
"Not looking to good! I'm sure Mom & Dad are really glad I took them for a ride now..."
- wow, how sad...you must have spun the wheels for a few revolutions each...look at all that mud you got all over your pretty car.
"Dad busted the muffler off his transport here on the way out"
- but he didn't get stuck and left with is pride?
"Note the erect D-Rings
"
- wow, blinging in the culdesac for sure