Rat-a-pult

[Steve R]

I was working in my garage near the Hummer. That's about the only thing relevant to Hummer your gonna read on this thread.

I suddenly hear my neighbor call for me....he says he has a huge rat caught in his kitchen. I came running over to check it out (not sure why). Sure as heck, this mid-sized rat is in the corner just sitting there.

So my neighbor get this irrigation tube, about 12' long and 3" wide...and puts duct-tape over one end of it. He sticks it near the rat but nothing happens. With a broom in hand I go in and start prompting the rat to jump into the tube. The rat spars with the broom a bit and gives it a fight...but eventually flee's into the safety of the tube. BIG MISTAKE.

I drop the broom and lift up the tube...I can hear him sliding down. We take it outside and he won't quite come out. I was able to jilt the tube sharp enough to get him about midway in the tube....then, with a heaving effort I brought the tube rapidly upwards, over my head and wham: the rat got catapulted out and went flying in the air. This rat was the Charles F'in Lindberg of the rat neighborhood...he went flying about 40 feet high and 60 feet long where he crashed into a huge pine tree. We could hear him falling down.....I'm proud of the little bastard...he didn't miss a single branch.

If he'd have stayed airbourne longer, we'd have to show him a movie and give him a meal.

I know....but if Dennis can fall in love with himself in the chat-room and make a thread of it...I can talk about my Rat-a-pulting!

next time we're gonna cover him in a mixture of gasoline & vasoline and then have an ignitor light him up as he exits the tube...like a beacon in the sky!

Oh man...I hope God doesn't read this thread, I'm not exactly scoring any points here.