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03-21-2006, 08:09 PM
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Hummer Professional
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Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: League City, Tx
Posts: 373
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Due to the climate of political correctness now pervading America, Kentuckians, Tennesseans and West Virginians will no longer be referred to as "HILLBILLIES."
You must now refer to them as APPALACHIAN-AMERICANS.
And furthermore ....
HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT WOMEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:
1. She is not a "BABE" or a "CHICK" - She is a "BREASTED AMERICAN."
2. She is not a "SCREAMER" or a "MOANER" - She is "VOCALLY APPRECIATIVE."
3. She is not "EASY" - She is "HORIZONTALLY ACCESSIBLE."
4. She is not a "DUMB BLONDE" - She is a "LIGHT-HAIRED DETOUR OFF THE INFORMATION SUPERHIGHWAY."
5. She has not "BEEN AROUND" - She is a "PREVIOUSLY-ENJOYED COMPANION."
6. She is not an "AIRHEAD" - She is "REALITY IMPAIRED."
7. She does not get "DRUNK" or "TIPSY" - She gets "CHEMICALLY INCONVENIENCED"
8. She does not have "BREAST IMPLANTS" - She is "MEDICALLY ENHANCED."
9. She does not "NAG" you - She becomes "VERBALLY REPETITIVE."
10. She is not a "TRAMP" - She is "SEXUALLY EXTROVERTED."
11. She does not have "MAJOR LEAGUE HOOTERS" - She is "PECTORALLY SUPERIOR."
12. She is not a "TWO-BIT HOOKER" - She is a "LOW COST PROVIDER."
HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT MEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:
1. He does not have a "BEER GUT" - He has developed a "LIQUID GRAIN STORAGE FACILITY."
2. He is not a "BAD DANCER" - He is "OVERLY CAUCASIAN."
3. He does not "GET LOST ALL THE TIME" - He "INVESTIGATES ALTERNATIVE DESTINATIONS."
4. He is not "BALDING" - He is in "FOLLICLE REGRESSION."
5. He is not a "CRADLE ROBBER" - He prefers "GENERATIONAL DIFFERENTIAL
RELATIONSHIPS."
6. He does not get "FALLING-DOWN DRUNK" - He becomes "ACCIDENTALLY HORIZONTAL."
7. He does not act like a "TOTAL ASS" - He develops a case of "RECTAL-CRANIAL INVERSION."
8. He is not a "MALE CHAUVINIST PIG" - He has "SWINE EMPATHY."
9. He is not afraid of "COMMITMENT" - He is "RELATIONSHIP CHALLENGED."
10. He is not "HORNY" - He is "SEXUALLY FOCUSED."
11. It's not his "CRACK" you see hanging out of his pants - It's "REAR CLEAVAGE"
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03-21-2006, 08:23 PM
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Hummer Guru
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Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: Dallas, TX USA
Posts: 2,314
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LOL good sheet!
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03-21-2006, 08:31 PM
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Hummer Guru
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Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: nonpiker
Posts: 5,900
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LMAO!!!
This one's for Edspad
Quote:
1. She is not a "BABE" or a "CHICK" - She is a "BREASTED AMERICAN."
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03-21-2006, 08:38 PM
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Hummer Professional
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Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: League City, Tx
Posts: 373
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I can't take the credit...someone forwarded it to me earlier today.
But it is hilarious!!!
LC
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03-21-2006, 08:45 PM
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Hummer Guru
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Join Date: Jul 2005
Posts: 4,123
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Quote:
2. He is not a "BAD DANCER" - He is "OVERLY CAUCASIAN."
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Hey, I resemble that remark. 
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03-21-2006, 08:47 PM
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Hummer Guru
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Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: I CAN BARELY SEE THE ROAD...
Posts: 4,624
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heh! 
__________________
Black Sheep Hummer Squadron
( CenCal Chapter - Me, Myself, and I )
"OBAMA......Making Jimmy Carter LOOK GOOD!"
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03-21-2006, 09:06 PM
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Hummer Guru
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Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: nonpiker
Posts: 5,900
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Quote:
Originally posted by Sewie:
<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content"> 2. He is not a "BAD DANCER" - He is "OVERLY CAUCASIAN."
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Hey, I resemble that remark.  </div></BLOCKQUOTE>
Still attempting the "cabbage patch"???
LMAO!!! thats a great visual 
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03-21-2006, 09:12 PM
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Banned
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Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: stuttering through life
Posts: 996
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Quote:
Originally posted by HummBebe:
<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">Originally posted by Sewie:
<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content"> 2. He is not a "BAD DANCER" - He is "OVERLY CAUCASIAN."
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Hey, I resemble that remark.  </div></BLOCKQUOTE>
Still attempting the "cabbage patch"???
LMAO!!! thats a great visual  </div></BLOCKQUOTE>
No, the running man.
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03-21-2006, 09:33 PM
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Hummer Messiah
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Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: Virginia Beach
Posts: 37,474
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Funny list. 
__________________
"My reading of history convinces me that most bad government results from too much government."---Thomas Jefferson
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03-21-2006, 11:00 PM
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Hummer Guru
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Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: Frequently somewhere else...
Posts: 2,092
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ROFLAMO 
__________________
Rob (Ipedog - Say "Ip-E-Dog")
Black Sheep HUMMER Squadron 
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03-21-2006, 11:30 PM
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Hummer Guru
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Join Date: Jul 2005
Posts: 4,123
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Quote:
Originally posted by HummBebe:
<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">Originally posted by Sewie:
<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content"> 2. He is not a "BAD DANCER" - He is "OVERLY CAUCASIAN."
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Hey, I resemble that remark.  </div></BLOCKQUOTE>
Still attempting the "cabbage patch"???
LMAO!!! thats a great visual  </div></BLOCKQUOTE>
You want a visual? You'll see just how white I am on Saturday.

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