Censoring

[Sewie]

George Carlin's Incomplete List of Impolite Words

We start out lightly with heck, hell, damn, God damn, bitch, bastard and crud. And then we get right into crap, turd, ****, dingleberry, piss, piddle, leak, mung cheese, laying some cable, pinching a loaf and dropping a load. Ass, booty, butt, heiny, tuckas, bum, buns, rump, cheeks, tits, jugs, bazoombas, knockers, knobs, lungs, balloons, browns eyes, balls, nuts, onions, jewels, rocks, stones, ball bag, jism, come, shoot, cream, wad, juice, pecker tracks, pearl necklace.

Crabs, dose, shift, clap, (leed?), raincoat, scumbag, rubber, gasket, French tickler, dildo, here we go now:

****, screw, lay, diddle, push, plow, hump, cut, bang, poke, batter, wham, beef injection. . . vitamin F, knock up, put out, dip you wick, hide the salami. . . laying pipe, polishing your rocket. . . squattin on the hawg. . . getting your pole varnished. . . a quickie, a nooner, a matinee, pop your cookies, bust your nuts, get your rocks off, bananas and cream, piece of ass, nookie, poontang.

Here we go again now, ****, koose, kooch, crack, gash, notch, twat, slash, ginch, hole, hat, slit, snatch, quim, box, snapper, beaver tail, pussy, muff, bearded clam. . . furburger. . . tuna taco. . . bush, hair pie, wooly buga. . . glower hole. . . a murkin, a mucket, button, clit, cherry, clamp, snappin' pussy, taint, boy in the boat, man in the canoe, mutt rag, on the rag, flying the flag, riding the cotton pony. . . having the painters in. . .

Some of these border on poetry I feel, ya know?

Hard on, rod on, bone on, boner, stiff, piss hard, wet dream, hot nuts, horny, randy, blue balls, lover's nuts, **** struck, queefer, pussy farts, *******, bung hole, little brown eyeball. . . bugger, brown, ream, cornhole, butt****, back door, bite the brown, sugarbowl pie, mustard, rode up the old dirt road. . . Hershey highway. . . fishing for brown trout! Fudge packer, poundcake, finger ****, dry hump, cop a feel, tit ****, French ****, one man band. . .

Hand job, French ****, blow job, head job, rim job, hum job, pipe job, suck off, give head, give face, gobble, cop a stem, cop a doodle, go down on, muff dive, mustache ride. . . sit on my face. . . yodeling in the gully. . . sixty-nine. . . seventy-one, which is a sixty-nine with two fingers up your ass. . . sixty-eight, which is "You do me and I'll owe you one.". . . Women hear that one all the time.

Golden showers, around the world, daisy chain, sloppy seconds, dog-style, Mongolian cluster****. . . group grope, gang bang, circle jerk, twenty lira, well hung.

Here we go again now:

Dick, prick, dork, dong, tong, downicker, dingus, wang, schlong, schwanze, putz, pork, pecker, peter, prong, tool, rod, hammer, shaft, stick, snake, knob, lob, stem, root, joint, piece, gun, meat, beef, pork weenie, skin flute, meat whistle, talleywhacker. . . middle leg, short arm, rod of love. . . Mister Goodwrench. . . joystick, love muscle, ding-dong, tube steak, pink pencil, bald-headed mouse. . . trouser snake. . . the one-eyed wonder worm!

Jelly roll, puddin', jerk-off, jack-off, whack off, pull off, beat off, fist ****, wanking, beating your meat, flogging your log, pounding your pud, cleaning out your rope, stroking it, giving it a tug, beating the bishop. . . milking the lizard, choking the chicken, waxing the dolphin. . . wrestling the eel, spank the frank, paddle the pickle, jerk the gherkin, punishing percy, in your palm. . . Shooting putty at the moon!

Pocket pool, pimp, hooker, trick, queer, punk, faggot, quif, dyke, diesel dyke, lezzy, bull diger, box lunch, sea food, rough trade, eat me, **** you up your ass, **** off, piss off, stick it, stuff it, shove it, ram it, cram it, sit on it, get laid, get in, get off, get it on, get it up.

Mother****er, cocksucker, old fart, fart face, fart sniffer, cock sniff, gam, *******, pecker head, scumbag, **** up, **** off, ball