Joke of the day

[deserth3]

Now that's funny!!!

I got a kick out of most of these. Great

S.

[Sewie]

"The wheel is turning, but the hamster is dead"

LOL!!

[KenP]

July 17

Appraisal Sheet...

This form indicates employee performance in the position they currently hold.
Knowledge
[ ] The son of a bitch really knows his stuff
[ ] Knows just enough to be dangerous
[ ] Only half a brain and is dangerous
[ ] ****ing brain damaged, his coffee cup has a higher IQ
Accuracy
[ ] Does excellent work if not preoccupied with pussy
[ ] Pretty good, only occasionally blows it out his ass
[ ] Has to take off his shoes to count to ten
[ ] Couldn't count his balls and get the same number twice
Attitude
[ ] Extremely cooperative if you kiss his ass frequently
[ ] Brown nose in good standing
[ ] Often pisses off co-workers, thinks it's his shop
[ ] Doesn't give a ****, never did and never will
Reliability
[ ] A really dependable little cocksucker
[ ] You can rely on him at evaluation time
[ ] Can rely on him to be the first one out the ****ing door
[ ] Totally ****ing useless/worthless
Appearance
[ ] Extremely neat, even combs his pubic hair
[ ] Looks great at evaluation time
[ ] Flies abandon fresh dog **** to follow him around
[ ] Dirty, filthy, dirty son of a bitch Performance
[ ] Works like a son of a bitch, if there's money in it for him
[ ] Does all kinds of good **** at evaluation time
[ ] Works only if kicked in the ass every 2 minutes
[ ] Couldn't do less work if he were in a ****ing coma

[Agriv8r]

A very sexually active woman tells her plastic surgeon that she wants her
vaginal lips reduced in size because they were loose and flapping. Out of
embarrassment she insisted that the surgery be kept a secret and the
surgeon
agreed.

Awakening from the anesthesia after the surgery she found three roses
carefully placed beside her on the bed. Outraged, she immediately calls in
the doctor. "I thought I asked you not to tell anyone about my operation!"

The surgeon told her he had carried out her wish for confidentiality and
that the first rose was from him: "I felt sad because you went through this
all by yourself."

"The second rose is from my nurse. She assisted me in the surgery and
empathized because she had the same procedure done some time ago."

"And what about the third rose?" she asked.

"Oh, that rose is from a man upstairs in the burn unit. He wanted to thank
you for his new ears...

[Agriv8r]

A gorgeous young redhead goes into the
doctor's office and says that her body hurts
wherever she touches it.
Impossible!" says the doctor "Show me."
The redhead takes her finger, pushes on her
left breast and screams, then she pushes her
elbow and screams in even more agony.
She pushes her knee and screams; likewise
she pushes her ankle and screams.
Everywhere she touches makes her scream.
The doctor says, "You're not really a redhead,
are you?
Well, no" she says, "I'm actually a blonde."
"I thought so," the doctor says.
"Your finger is broken."

now thats funny

[H2Finally]

BWAHAHA!!

[PARAGON]

Originally Posted by Agriv8r

A gorgeous young redhead goes into the
doctor's office and says that her body hurts
wherever she touches it.
Impossible!" says the doctor "Show me."
The redhead takes her finger, pushes on her
left breast and screams, then she pushes her
elbow and screams in even more agony.
She pushes her knee and screams; likewise
she pushes her ankle and screams.
Everywhere she touches makes her scream.
The doctor says, "You're not really a redhead,
are you?
Well, no" she says, "I'm actually a blonde."
"I thought so," the doctor says.
"Your finger is broken."

now thats funny

I can't believe you created a joke out of CP's misery

[The Juice]

Two prisoners are talking about their crimes:

George: "I robbed a bank, and they gave me 20 years"

Herman: "Hmm. I drowned a man in his hot tub, and I'm here for 3 days"

George: "*WHAT*??? I rob a bank and get 20 years; you drowned a man and get 3 days???"

Herman: "Yeah, it was a lawyer."