Dog Related Quotes

[f5fstop]

I have these rules posted in the hallway, just inside the door..

Rules of the House:
1. I like my Malamute more than I like most people.
2. She is a Giant Malamute, and weighs more than most women I know. She is NOT a Siberian Husky and she hates being called a Husky.
3. If you sit down, do not complain about dog fur. Yes I have vacuumed, but she sometimes sheds faster than the vacuum can pick up.
4. Do not pat your chest when you are standing or sitting. She is still considered a puppy. If you do this while standing, she will jump, put her paws on your shoulder, and lick you, and she might topple you over if you are of a smaller statue. If you pat your chest while sitting, prepare yourself, for she quickly becomes one of the largest lapdogs known to man (or woman).
5. If you pick up one of her toys, you will be forced to play with her for at least fifteen minutes.
6. If you pick up her giant bone, don?t be surprised if she makes your arm her new giant bone.
7. Do not pull her tail, even if it is nice and fluffy
8. Do not make any sudden movements, it does not mean she will attack, it means she will run over to see what is happening and if your sudden movement is taken as a pat on the chest?see rule 4.
9. She is a Giant Alaskan Malamute; NOT a Wolf, so don?t imitate a Wolf cry, because it irritates her, and it also irritates me
10. She does not bark, but she talks, so when she talks to you listen carefully and let me know what she is saying; since I have no idea.