Zoom, go fast.

[h2co-pilot]

<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">Originally posted by H2 Rocks:
<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">Originally posted by PARAGON:
<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">Originally posted by H2 Rocks:
Do you have all those appliances in your sig, in your Hummer? </div></BLOCKQUOTE>Hey Pebbles, I realize the H2 is big and everything but I think it would be tight squeeze to put a 2002 Dodge Caravan in one </div></BLOCKQUOTE>

OOps! I wasn't sure what the heck a Caravan was!! My goof! </div></BLOCKQUOTE>

Kenmore was an oddball one too...sharp as a tack

[PARAGON]

<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">Originally posted by KenP:
Since she keeps taking my Dodge, I see an H3 in her future. </div></BLOCKQUOTE>Sooo..... she's the one that ran into the pole.... women

[ROX]

<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">Originally posted by h2co-pilot:
<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">Originally posted by H2 Rocks:
<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">Originally posted by PARAGON:
<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">Originally posted by H2 Rocks:
Do you have all those appliances in your sig, in your Hummer? </div></BLOCKQUOTE>Hey Pebbles, I realize the H2 is big and everything but I think it would be tight squeeze to put a 2002 Dodge Caravan in one </div></BLOCKQUOTE>

OOps! I wasn't sure what the heck a Caravan was!! My goof! </div></BLOCKQUOTE>

Kenmore was an oddball one too...sharp as a tack </div></BLOCKQUOTE>

I really like the Mr. Coffee!! That's what got my attention!!

[h2co-pilot]

Yes, I can say that with the minivan and the Mr.Coffee plus all the other ammenities ( in my house ofcourse) I have a pretty sweet set-up.

I am going to start a minivan forum soon. With topics like:

What is that smell?

Guess what the kids pegged at me on rte. 66

Grocery getters road course sponsored by Pilsbury

How to get petrified boogers off the window (I, of course will start that one with little Susies riding in mine)

How to change the movie in the DVD player while motoring-during complete and utter sh*t-fits

It's gonna be a great time, I will invite you all to join

[ROX]

How about this:

Look at the mud hole, Mommy! That's where Hummers go, not daddy's truck.

Why do we have a Hummer?

I don't want to go back to the Hummer dealer...!

You don't like this movie?! I'm turning it off!!

E.J. yells:"WEEEEEEEEE!! " J.T. says:"No wee. I said NO WEEEE!" MOM!

That sounds like one forum I'd like to join! Maybe the coffee pot in the car isn't such a bad idea! Also thinking of a blender!

[KenP]

<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">Posted by Paragon:
Sooo..... she's the one that ran into the pole.... women </div></BLOCKQUOTE>I only wish it was her. I, unfortunately have to take the blame for that. Maybe I should get it fixed sometime soon.

[H2Finally]

Boy Kenny, if you can hit a perfectly still object, I really worry about your driving skeelz . As a dear friend, and purely thinking about your loved ones, I urge you to accept my generous invitation to trade your too-fast-too-dangerous H2 with my slower-more-your-pace-safer H2...

[PARAGON]

Oops, sorry. I guess I should have kept my mouth shut.

[ROX]

How do you suppose this happened in my "stock" h2?
I've been wondering how this ended up on my GPS after my Arizona trip!

[Battlebugs]

Hrmmm...JATO strapped to roof rack cross bars?

The Arizona Highway Patrol were mystified when they came upon a pile of smoldering wreckage embedded in the side of a cliff rising above the road at the apex of a curve. The metal debris resembled the site of an airplane crash, but it turned out to be the vaporized remains of an automobile. The make of the vehicle was unidentifiable at the scene.

The folks in the lab finally figured out what it was, and pieced together the events that led up to its demise.

It seems that a former Air Force sergeant had somehow got hold of a JATO (Jet Assisted Take-Off) unit. JATO units are solid fuel rockets used to give heavy military transport airplanes an extra push for take-off from short airfields.

Dried desert lakebeds are the location of choice for breaking the world ground vehicle speed record. The sergeant took the JATO unit into the Arizona desert and found a long, straight stretch of road. He attached the JATO unit to his car, jumped in, accelerated to a high speed, and fired off the rocket. The facts, as best as could be determined, are as follows:

The operator was driving a 1967 Chevy Impala. He ignited the JATO unit approximately 3.9 miles from the crash site. This was established by the location of a prominently scorched and melted strip of asphalt. The vehicle quickly reached a speed of between 250 and 300 mph and continued at that speed, under full power, for an additional 20-25 seconds. The soon-to-be pilot experienced G-forces usually reserved for dog-fighting F-14 jocks under full afterburners.

The Chevy remained on the straight highway for approximately 2.6 miles (15-20 seconds) before the driver applied the brakes, completely melting them, blowing the tires, and leaving thick rubber marks on the road surface. The vehicle then became airborne for an additional 1.3 miles, impacted the cliff face at a height of 125 feet, and left a blackened crater 3 feet deep in the rock.

Most of the driver's remains were not recovered; however, small fragments of bone, teeth, and hair were extracted from the crater, and fingernail and bone shards were removed from a piece of debris believed to be a portion of the steering wheel.

[PARAGON]

<Table><Table>
<TABLE width="95%" align=center>
<TBODY>
<TR>
<TD><FONT face="Trebuchet MS,Book Antiqua,Bookman Old Style,Arial" size=3>
<DIV class=text><FONT face=Arial color=#008800>Claim:</FONT> The
remains of a smoldering JATO-assisted Chevrolet Impala were found embedded in
the side of a cliff in the Arizona desert.

<NOINDEX><FONT face=Arial
color=#008800>Status:</FONT> <FONT face=Arial
color=#ff0000>False.</FONT> </NOINDEX>

<FONT face=Arial
color=#008800>Example:</FONT> <FONT face=Arial
color=#008800>[Collected on the Internet, 1995]</FONT>


<TABLE width="90%" align=center bgColor=#000000 border=0>
<TBODY>
<TR>
<TD bgColor=#fff3bb>
<BLOCKQUOTE><FONT face=Verdana color=#000000 size=2>
<DIV class=example>
The Arizona Highway Patrol were mystified when they came
upon a pile of smoldering wreckage embedded in the side of a cliff rising above
the road at the apex of a curve. The metal debris resembled the site of an
airplane crash, but it turned out to be the vaporized remains of an automobile.
The make of the vehicle was unidentifiable at the scene.

The folks in
the lab finally figured out what it was, and pieced together the events that led
up to its demise.

It seems that a former Air Force sergeant had somehow
got hold of a JATO (Jet Assisted Take-Off) unit. JATO units are solid fuel
rockets used to give heavy military transport airplanes an extra push for
take-off from short airfields.

Dried desert lakebeds are the location of
choice for breaking the world ground vehicle speed record. The sergeant took the
JATO unit into the Arizona desert and found a long, straight stretch of road. He
attached the JATO unit to his car, jumped in, accelerated to a high speed, and
fired off the rocket. The facts, as best as could be determined, are as follows:


The operator was driving a 1967 Chevy Impala. He ignited the JATO unit
approximately <NOBR>3.9 miles</NOBR> from the crash site. This was established
by the location of a prominently scorched and melted strip of asphalt. The
vehicle quickly reached a speed of between 250 and <NOBR>300 mph</NOBR> and
continued at that speed, under full power, for an additional <NOBR>20-25
seconds.</NOBR> The soon-to-be pilot experienced <NOBR>G-forces</NOBR> usually
reserved for dog-fighting <NOBR>F-14</NOBR> jocks under full afterburners.


The Chevy remained on the straight highway for approximately <NOBR>2.6
miles</NOBR> <NOBR>(15-20 seconds)</NOBR> before the driver applied the brakes,
completely melting them, blowing the tires, and leaving thick rubber marks on
the road surface. The vehicle then became airborne for an additional <NOBR>1.3
miles,</NOBR> impacted the cliff face at a height of <NOBR>125 feet,</NOBR> and
left a blackened crater <NOBR>3 feet</NOBR> deep in the rock.

Most of
the driver's remains were not recovered; however, small fragments of bone,
teeth, and hair were extracted from the crater, and fingernail and bone shards
were removed from a piece of debris believed to be a portion of the steering
wheel. </DIV></FONT></BLOCKQUOTE>


</P></TD></TR></TBODY></TABLE>
<FONT face=Arial
color=#008800>Origins:</FONT> Of all the crazy Internet stories, this has to be the one fellas love the most. There's something about cars and solid rocket fuel engines that draws them to this tale like happy moths to an unforgiving flame. Maybe it's the <NOBR>Wile E.</NOBR>
<NOBR>Coyote-ness</NOBR> of it all, the "so real you can almost touch it" mental
image of a smoldering wreck sticking out of a cliff face. Perhaps it's the
vicarious enjoyment of a Tim <NOBR>Allen-ish</NOBR> "More Power!" fantasy
carried to its fatal yet hilarious conclusion. Or maybe it's a simple matter of
cars and the men who love them, the eternal love affair.

Whatever. The
boys love it, and that's all that matters.

This tale of vehicular
velocity ferocity has been popular among servicemen since the late 1970s. In
those early word-of-mouth versions, the JATO was taken from a cargo plane or out
of a warehouse on base, thereby answering a key question left up in the air in
later versions: Where did the intrepid lad obtain the engine?

The story
is even older than that. One of our readers says he heard it in 1961 or 1962. In
that version, two JATO units mounted as
"lakers" (exhaust pipes) on a 1940 Ford were fired on Bayshore freeway while
trying to outrun the California Highway Patrol. The car was last seen going end
over end across San Francisco bay. Another reader heard it in 1964 while
stationed at Fort Huachuca, Arizona. In that version, the unmanned JATO'd car
went airborne and smashed into a tree, destroying both car and plant.


The version we now know and love (complete with puzzled police and the
smoldering wreck of what's left of a car impacted into the face of a cliff),
began making the cyberspatial rounds in 1990. In 1992 the incident was said to
have happened in New Mexico, with the car being a Plymouth Road Runner. By 1994
the car had transformed itself into a Chevrolet Impala, but now the accident's
venue was California. (See how these things mutate over time?)

1995 saw
this legend just about take over the Internet as it was flashed from
<NOBR>e-mail</NOBR> to <NOBR>e-mail</NOBR> as "this year's Darwin Award winner."
It's this version which is still in circulation today, the car frozen in time as
a Chevy Impala, the location given as somewhere in Arizona.

As it
appeared in 1995:
<BLOCKQUOTE><FONT face=Verdana color=#000000 size=2>
<DIV class=example>"Darwin award" Nominee: You all know about the Darwin awards
<NOBR>--</NOBR> it's an annual honor given to the person who did the gene pool
the biggest service by killing themselves in the most extraordinarily stupid
way.

Last year's winner was the fellow who was killed by a Coke(tm)
machine, which toppled over on top of him as he was attempting to tip a free
soda out of it.

And for this year's nominee, the story is:

The
Arizona (U.S.) Highway Patrol came upon a pile of smoldering metal embedded into
the side of a cliff rising above the road, on the outside of a curve. The
wreckage resembled the site of an airplane crash, but it was a car. The type of
car was unidentifiable at the scene. The boys in the lab finally figured out
what it was, and what had happened.

It seems that a guy had somehow got
hold of a JATO unit, (Jet Assisted Take Off, actually a solid-fuel rocket) that
is used to give heavy military transport planes an extra `push' for taking off
from short airfields. He had driven his Chevy Impala out into the desert, and
found a long, straight stretch of road. Then he attached the JATO unit to his
car, jumped in, got up some speed, and fired off the JATO!!

Best as they
could determine, he was doing somewhere between 250 and <NOBR>300 mph</NOBR>
(350-420kph) when he came to that <NOBR>curve . . .</NOBR>

The brakes
were completely burned away, apparently from trying to slow the car.


TODAY'S LESSON: Solid-fuel rockets don't have an 'off' <NOBR>switch . .
.</NOBR> </DIV></FONT></BLOCKQUOTE>Nor, so it seems, do good stories. A
spokesman of the Arizona Department of Public Safety stated in a 1996 newspaper
article the JATO story wasn't true though they continued to get asked about it.
"We get a call on that about every 90 days,'' said Dave Myers. ''It keeps us on
the map.''

<A name=arizona></A>(The web site for the Arizona Department of
Public Safety includes a page about this legend.)

There are two fatal
problems with the JATO story. First, anybody who understood the extreme forces
involved well enough to attach a JATO unit to a car so that it would keep the
car going in a straight line (rather than immediately spinning around) would not
do it in the first place. Second, the Arizona Highway Patrol has a phone number.
A call to them will confirm they've both heard the story and no, it's not true.


Sorry, fellas.

Though the legend of the smoldering Chevy smashed
into a cliff face is pure fabrication, JATO engines have been mounted on cars on
a couple of occasions. As reported in Motor Trend in 1957, Dodge took a
brand-new car out to <NOBR>El Mirage</NOBR> dry lake bed in California, removed
the gas tank, and mounted a JATO unit in its place. (The intent was to test the
car's brakes and to film the event for TV commercials.) The car went <NOBR>140
mph.</NOBR>

Barbara "cliff unhanger" Mikkelson

<FONT face=Arial
color=#008800>Last updated:</FONT> 20 February 2002 <!--
March 17 2000 - last previously updated
February 20 2002 - pushed back earliest Internet sighting to 1990.
--></DIV></FONT></TD></TR></TBODY></TABLE> <NOINDEX><NOINDEX>
<CENTER><FONT face=Verdana,Arial color=#008800 size=2>The URL for this page is
http://www.snopes.com/autos/dream/jato.asp</FONT></CENTER></Table></Table>

[ROX]

PARTY POOPER!