I am stupid......

[PARAGON]

Had to do a little work on my truck today so I took the brushguard off the front that has 4 PIAA lights on it. They each have connectors that I simply unplugged so I could remove the brushguard.

Anyway, later I'm putting the brushguard back on my truck and one of my plugs for my lights was up in behind the grill. I stick my left hand with watch on the wrist in the grill slot second from the DS end and grab it and go to pull it back out and ...... my f'ing hand won't come out. I am caught in a freaking Hummer hand trap. Apparently my wrist with watch on it will easily go in through the slot but will not come back out. How the hell did I not see this coming.

So, I can barely get one finger from my right hand ( no one else is home or nearby) in the last slot back around and over to my watch band. It has the regular deployant clasp with a little fold over lock on the end. I got the fold over open but couldn't get the damn clasp undone. It would not freaking open. Thinking it was just gunked up from not being off in a while, I would pull on it, nearly ripping what little of my fingernail I had and it wouldn't budge. So I'm standing there with my left hand stuck in the front of my white Hummer in front of my house not sure if I want or don't want a neighbor to walk by.

I sat (or stood) there for the better part of 30 or 40 minutes. I attempted to break the damn grill slot where my arm was but it felt like my arm was going to break instead. Of course the hood is open this whole time as well and I am trying to make sure I don't push too hard to make it close or that would really have been a bad deal. It is amazing what little articulation you realize you have. Of course, since my left shoulder has been operated on and does not rotate very well, I really couldn't move much. Couldn't get to a tool on the ground, nothing. I WAS able to pull a piece of pine straw out of one of the radiator fins while my stuck hand way up in there. That's about all I could accomplish.

Anyway, I am in there reaching again with my finger and I feel this little ridge on the side of the clasp. THE DAMN THING HAS TRIPLE LOCKING. I forgot it had a little button on the sides you pushed to release. I force one side up against the back of the grill and push the other side in with my finger while pulling on the clasp and voila, the damn thing came undone. I pull my arm out letting the freaking watch slide off and stay in the grill. I go inside, sit down and grab something to drink and try to decide if I'm going to tell anyone how freaking stupid I am.

I'm still trying to decide.

[deicustoms1]

[Roadstar]

I thought I was the only one with stories like that. Trust me your not alone.

Thanks for the laugh!!

[Klaus]

I'd have paid good money to see that! Where's Allen Funt when you need him???

[NEOCON1]

LMFAO

still in moab drinkin beers

[Aubs]

That's funny... I've come to stop wearing things like watches, necklaces, whatever. They tend to get hung up on things when I'm doing something and then cause me great pain or frustration...

[Fastest H-Town Realtor]

Ok-Ill share-1978 Trans Am, 455SD with full comp headers. Doing a starter replace, so I out the bottom 2 bolts and start the solonoid. I am holding myself up off of the ground,while laying, with the right arm. The left arm/hand is doing the work. The left arm is over the headers, while the elbow bends back downwards to the starter. The wrist is back up again to the solonoid. the ONLY movement is my fingers of the left hand. Everything else is unmovable. The solonoid wires come off and I finish the last bolt. Bolt drops and does the starter....on my hand,pinning it to the top of the header/collector tubes. My hand is pinned, I cannot take out the arm, the right arm holds me up....no one is around. If i pull the left hand, it will break the wrist...or severly sprain it,at least...I have to do hopping pushups with the right arm to get the rest of my body around so I can twist the wrist out from under the starter,...but remember, the left arm is pinned, so each hop twists the arm...everything is cramping. Neighbor comes over after 30 minutes and jacks UP the car...with my arm and wrist. ouch! Finally, I explain the situation to him,he crawls under,stabs the starter with a tire iron, it rolls down my fingers (ouch) and un-pins me....

BTW, a 78 Pontiac starter weights about 35lbs dressed.

[MarineHawk]

Look at the bright side: you had a perfect excuse to drink.

[dochummer]

[dochummer]

I've never done anything stupid like that...

[westhillsat]

Thanks for sharing! Ouch!!

[Mrs.ssippi]

Am I allowed to comment here or not?

[H2Finally]

Nothing as stupid as Para's story, but first time I changed my 35" to 37" (2 different sets of tires/wheels) at home, all I had was the silly oem tire iron and the highlift. So I spent a good 30 minutes muscling all the lugs loose (damn tire shop power tooled too tight ), jacked one corner up, unscrew 8 lugs by hand (didn't have a deep socket wrench), took the tire off, lift up the heavy 37", try to line up the 8 lugs through (NOT possible at 1 go! ), tighten 8 lugs by hand (didn't have the right socket adapter for my power drill), tighten with the tire iron, lower jack, re-tighten (did I mention how stupid the oem tire iron thingy is?)... and repeat X 4.

By this time I was exhausted, but figured, hell, 1 more spare to the rear tire carrier... might as well..

Well, try as I might, I didn't have the strength to lift the now 10,000 lbs spare high enough to catch the 4 nuts on the carrier. So I said, "use your brain, Finally!!" ... and figured I'll use a long 2x2 jammed against the pipe in the middle of the carrier, to create a pivoting fulcrum to lift the tire up, and slide back onto the fulcrum/carrier.

So I set the spare a ways off behind the Hummer, inserted the 2x2 through the hub opening of the spare, jammed the end onto the carrier, and L I F T!! . "Yeehaw! It worked! " I thought as the tire wobbled its way down the 2x2.

Then it stopped. So I lifted it higher. Now it's about 6 inches away (almost home!), my arms were trembling, my back's breaking, my hands bleeding (damn splinters! )... and then it stopped again.. and I found I was NOT tall enough to lift the pivot any higher!

Took me a couple more minutes of trying to tippy toe (no way!) and/or wiggle the wood to realize that nothing was budging! Worse, the tip of the wood was almost off the carrier, the gazillion ton spare was going to squash my foot, and I was really trully STUCK!

So, realizing there was absolutely nothing else I could do.. with my last dying breath.. I sucked in some air.. swallowed my pride.. and hollered.... for my lovely wife to come out and rescue me...

With her help (she's super-strong!! ), took us maybe 2 minutes to secure the spare on -- the entire time, she was laughing uproariously (of joy I'm sure), until she realized that my hands were bleeding in quite a few spots -- at which time she laughed hysterically...

[DennisAJC]

I guess now we know why you like to travel light.

I've had over-head luggage slam me all the way down to floor when I opened to put mine up. Everyone laughed at me.

[DRTYFN]

Originally posted by Mrs.ssippi:
Am I allowed to comment here or not?

You absolutely are!!! DO NOW!!!

[NJ H2]

You can laugh at this now but at the time it was the most un-funny thing that ever happened to me!
The night was moist!
On my way home I stopped by a construction site. They had just dug out the foundation and I walked to the edge to take a good look. It had rained for a few days prior and the groung was a little muddy. I got pretty close to the edge when the ground all around me gave way and I fell into the foundation which had about a half a foot of water at the bottom! Of course I was wearing a suit and shoes which are now covered in mud!
I'm soaked and muddy but I figured I would be fine when I get to my cell phone in my car to have someone bring me a few towels. I look around for a way out but it turns out I'm in a big hole! OK ... I'll just climb out! So I look around again for the best spot but it's getting dark so I trudge thru the mud and water looing for my escape route. I find what appears to be a good line and start my climb! I get about 3 feet and slide back down! I try again and the same thing! The walls are just falling apart as I try to grab on to the slippery edges and rocks! Again and again I tried to escape this muddy foundation getting more and more frustrated with my situation!! A few times I tried a running start but that didn't work!!!
It is now dark and I'm in the foudation with no one around,& no way to get out!!! I'm soaked full of mud in my hair my eyes everywhere!! I can't call anyone since my phone is in my car and I'm exhausted from trying to escape
so I sit down and regroup for a few minutes. I'm sitting there for 10 minutes when I hear a crack like someone stepped on a twig. I look up and see 3 Deer looking down at me. 1 was a nice Buck! HS!! That's all I need is for the ground to collapse under the Buck and be stuck inside the foundation with him fighting a Deer all night long!
I take off my jacket swing it around and start screaming. This Deer just looks at me and doesn't run!
I pick up some mud,rocks and my jacket & throw it at the Deer screeming at the top of my lungs and finally the trotted away!


Thats it!! I'll take my shoes off and use them as spikes to climb out.So I shove my shoes into the muddy walls and almost make it to the top and slide back down again!!! Again and again I try making it alost to the top atleast 20 times.I had the tips of my fingers on the top atleast 10 times but slid all the way back down again!! MOTHER F@*KER C@$K S&C%ER!!!!!!!!! I can't get out!!!!
My arms are getting cut up on the rocks from sliding down so I take my shirt off and wrap it around 1 arm! What do I do for my other arm? Off come the pants! I rip them and wrap them around my other arm! I try again and again, making it almost to the top and boom!
4 AND A HALF HOURS LATER I finally make it out! covered in mud no shoes no pants no jacket no shirt my car still running.
I crawled as fast I could away from the edge and just layed on the ground for 10 min kissing the ground!
Can you imagine the drive home? No you can't cause I was in such a rush to get home I get pulled over for speeding!! 45 in a 35!! He wanted to hear why I was in driving around covered in mud just in my boxers!! I told him what happened I never and I mean never saw a cop laugh so hard!!
He let me go with a verbal warning! I'm pretty sure they still laugh about that at the station.

[Mrs.ssippi]

One time, at band camp.....Nevermind.

[devilsfan]

Heck, that could have been a LOT worse....Mrs at home with a camera, bad news, dude....



Stacy

[PARAGON]

Originally posted by devilsfan:
Heck, that could have been a LOT worse....Mrs at home with a camera, bad news, dude....



Stacy

No worries there, she knows how vengeful I can be.