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08-28-2007, 11:13 AM
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Lawyer Jokes
It was cold here yesterday...
So cold I saw a lawyer with his hands in his own pockets!
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08-28-2007, 12:01 PM
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Re: Lawyer Jokes
I have a couple lawyers in the family. Lawyers like these jokes more than anyone.
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08-28-2007, 01:26 PM
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Re: Lawyer Jokes
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08-28-2007, 02:17 PM
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Re: Lawyer Jokes
The day after a verdict had been entered against his client, the lawyer rushed to the judge's chambers, demanding that the case be reopened, saying: "I have new evidence that makes a huge difference in my client's defense."
The judge asked, "What new evidence could you possibly have?"
The lawyer replied, "My client has an extra $10,000 I just found out about!" 
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08-28-2007, 02:32 PM
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Re: Lawyer Jokes
The wall between heaven and hell broke down, so God got on the phone and called the Devil. He said "I'll send a few guys, you send a few guys, and we'll get the wall fixed right away". The Devil denied this request only to be asked again. "You don't want people getting out, and I don't either. Send a few guys to fix the wall or I'll have to sue you." To which the Devil replied; "Oh yeah? Where are you going to get a lawyer?"
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08-28-2007, 03:05 PM
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Re: Lawyer Jokes
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08-28-2007, 04:22 PM
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Hummer Guru
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Re: Lawyer Jokes
Quote:
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Originally Posted by SnakeH2
I have a couple lawyers in the family. Lawyers like these jokes more than anyone.
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thanx for the input.... |
08-28-2007, 05:25 PM
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Re: Lawyer Jokes
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Originally Posted by Agriv8r
thanx for the input....
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Just following your lead |
08-28-2007, 05:57 PM
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Re: Lawyer Jokes
A gang of robbers broke into a lawyer's club by mistake. The old legal lions gave them a fight for their life and their money. The gang was very happy to escape.
"It ain't so bad," one crook noted. "We got $25 between us."
The boss screamed: "I warned you to stay clear of lawyers -- we had $100 when we broke in!"
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08-28-2007, 05:57 PM
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Re: Lawyer Jokes
A doctor and a lawyer were attending a cocktail party when the doctor was approached by a man who asked advice on how to handle his ulcer.
The doctor mumbled some medical advice, then turned to the lawyer and asked, "How do you handle the situation when you are asked for advice during a social function?"
"Just send a bill for such advice" replied the lawyer.
On the next morning the doctor arrived at his surgery and issued the ulcer-stricken man a $50 bill. That afternoon he received a $100 bill from the lawyer.
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08-28-2007, 06:00 PM
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Re: Lawyer Jokes
An old man was on his death bed. He wanted badly to take some of his money with him. He called his priest, his doctor and his lawyer to his bedside. "Here's $30,000 cash to be held by each of you. I trust you to put this in my coffin when I die so I can take all my money with me."
At the funeral, each man put an envelope in the coffin. Riding away in a limousine, the priest suddenly broke into tears and confessed, "I had only put $20,000 into the envelope because I needed $10,000 for a new baptistery."
"Well, since we're confiding in each other," said the doctor, "I only put $10,000 in the envelope because we needed a new machine at the hospital which cost $20,000."
The lawyer was aghast. "I'm ashamed of both of you," he exclaimed. "I want it known that when I put my envelope in that coffin, it held my personal check for the full $30,000."
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08-30-2007, 12:46 AM
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Re: Lawyer Jokes
Know why lawyers wear neck ties?
Keeps their foreskins from showing! 
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"For God so loved the world he gave his only son that whoever believe in him would not perish but have everlasting life. "
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08-30-2007, 01:57 AM
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Re: Lawyer Jokes
i'm howling!....great jokes!
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08-30-2007, 05:29 AM
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Hummer Professional
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Re: Lawyer Jokes
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08-30-2007, 08:55 AM
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Join Date: Apr 2007
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Re: Lawyer Jokes
Quote:
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Originally Posted by H2wifey
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WOW, 26 post, you are on a roll.  |
08-30-2007, 11:41 AM
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Re: Lawyer Jokes
What do you call a boatload of lawyers that goes down in shark filled waters?
A real good start 
__________________
"For God so loved the world he gave his only son that whoever believe in him would not perish but have everlasting life. "
(John 3:16)
2006 H3 Slate Blue,Header,Jacked,CAI,Toyo35's,HHO.
Priors...
Explorer
Commander
71 Vette
You Name it!
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08-30-2007, 03:46 PM
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Re: Lawyer Jokes
Quote:
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Originally Posted by wpage
What do you call a boatload of lawyers that goes down in shark filled waters?
A real good start |
Sharks don't eat lawyers.
Professional courtesy. |
08-30-2007, 04:01 PM
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Hummer Messiah
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Join Date: Nov 2002
Location: PDX
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Re: Lawyer Jokes
Quote:
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Originally Posted by Adam in CO
Sharks don't eat lawyers.
Professional courtesy.
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Wasn't it because the sharks thought they were whale turds.... oh wait, that's a different joke. |
08-30-2007, 04:16 PM
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Hummer Messiah
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Join Date: Feb 2003
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Re: Lawyer Jokes
Quote:
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Originally Posted by Adam in CO
Sharks don't eat lawyers.
Professional courtesy.
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hahahaha! 
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08-30-2007, 04:51 PM
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Re: Lawyer Jokes
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