Rat-a-pult

[Steve R]

I was working in my garage near the Hummer. That's about the only thing relevant to Hummer your gonna read on this thread.

I suddenly hear my neighbor call for me....he says he has a huge rat caught in his kitchen. I came running over to check it out (not sure why). Sure as heck, this mid-sized rat is in the corner just sitting there.

So my neighbor get this irrigation tube, about 12' long and 3" wide...and puts duct-tape over one end of it. He sticks it near the rat but nothing happens. With a broom in hand I go in and start prompting the rat to jump into the tube. The rat spars with the broom a bit and gives it a fight...but eventually flee's into the safety of the tube. BIG MISTAKE.

I drop the broom and lift up the tube...I can hear him sliding down. We take it outside and he won't quite come out. I was able to jilt the tube sharp enough to get him about midway in the tube....then, with a heaving effort I brought the tube rapidly upwards, over my head and wham: the rat got catapulted out and went flying in the air. This rat was the Charles F'in Lindberg of the rat neighborhood...he went flying about 40 feet high and 60 feet long where he crashed into a huge pine tree. We could hear him falling down.....I'm proud of the little bastard...he didn't miss a single branch.

If he'd have stayed airbourne longer, we'd have to show him a movie and give him a meal.

I know....but if Dennis can fall in love with himself in the chat-room and make a thread of it...I can talk about my Rat-a-pulting!

next time we're gonna cover him in a mixture of gasoline & vasoline and then have an ignitor light him up as he exits the tube...like a beacon in the sky!

Oh man...I hope God doesn't read this thread, I'm not exactly scoring any points here.

[Steve R]

I was working in my garage near the Hummer. That's about the only thing relevant to Hummer your gonna read on this thread.

I suddenly hear my neighbor call for me....he says he has a huge rat caught in his kitchen. I came running over to check it out (not sure why). Sure as heck, this mid-sized rat is in the corner just sitting there.

So my neighbor get this irrigation tube, about 12' long and 3" wide...and puts duct-tape over one end of it. He sticks it near the rat but nothing happens. With a broom in hand I go in and start prompting the rat to jump into the tube. The rat spars with the broom a bit and gives it a fight...but eventually flee's into the safety of the tube. BIG MISTAKE.

I drop the broom and lift up the tube...I can hear him sliding down. We take it outside and he won't quite come out. I was able to jilt the tube sharp enough to get him about midway in the tube....then, with a heaving effort I brought the tube rapidly upwards, over my head and wham: the rat got catapulted out and went flying in the air. This rat was the Charles F'in Lindberg of the rat neighborhood...he went flying about 40 feet high and 60 feet long where he crashed into a huge pine tree. We could hear him falling down.....I'm proud of the little bastard...he didn't miss a single branch.

If he'd have stayed airbourne longer, we'd have to show him a movie and give him a meal.

I know....but if Dennis can fall in love with himself in the chat-room and make a thread of it...I can talk about my Rat-a-pulting!

next time we're gonna cover him in a mixture of gasoline & vasoline and then have an ignitor light him up as he exits the tube...like a beacon in the sky!

Oh man...I hope God doesn't read this thread, I'm not exactly scoring any points here.

[KenP]

Steve, that's funny as can be. I can just picture the rat going "Geronimo" as it flies into the trees. You better watch out for it's family. I understand rat families don't like their kin being talked about. (Look at the size of the balls on this thing in relation to his size. No wonder they are crazy.)

[DennisAJC]

[GeorgeSSSS]

Steve:

I would ask if the rat is related to Ted Turner, but I don't want to insult the rat.

Great story,

George

[KenP]

We will get you. As soon as I recupe from this drug induced nap I will lead the brothers to your pantry. We will eat your bread and dog food. Beware the RAT.

[KenP]

Yes, we will get you. Foolish man...

[DennisAJC]

[DennisAJC]

Your hidious crime has even reached China!

[DRTYFN]

<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Steve R:
next time we're gonna cover him in a mixture of gasoline & vasoline and then have an ignitor light him up as he exits the tube...like a beacon in the sky!
<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

You better set up a fence around the launch site or Richard Gere is going to try to get his anus in front of the tube.

[BlackDragon]

Ahem. You should have taken ratty a bit further away than 60 feet, man. Rats and mice can find their ways back to the place they've made their home from up to 3 miles away.

The rat will be like the frikken' Terminator - "He'll be back..."

[devilsfan]

You'd better watch it, Steve....ever seen "Willard"?

"Plot Summary for Willard (1971)

A social misfit, Willard is made fun of by his co-workers, and squeezed out of the company started by his deceased father by his boss. His only friends are a couple of rats he raised at home, Ben and Socrates. (And their increasing number of friends) However, when one of them is killed at work, he goes on a rampage using his rats to attack those who have been tormenting him."

Rats can beat your ass, dude. I know, I have them as pets.

Stacy

[Hum2]

Funny Story Steve!

Ric

[Steve R]

<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by BlackDragon:
Ahem. You should have taken ratty a bit further away than 60 feet, man. Rats and mice can find their ways back to the place they've made their home from up to 3 miles away.

The rat will be like the frikken' Terminator - "He'll be back..." <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>


Uh...yeah, good point....I see where you're going with this: I suppose we'll have to set-up a FREQUENT FLYER PROGRAM for him then!!!

[Steve R]

Rat-on Sfox!!

[partsguy]

You really should move into the 21st centry.
Make a combustion chamber 1/4 from the bottom,
then put a M80 or larger in the bottom(long fuse) Your 40 feet will become 140,but thinking
about it more don't forget the kevlar.

[LasVegas]

That's ALL funny as hell.

[Spike]

Why not use a potato gun to launch the little bastards. They are about the same size and weight of an average potato. It would probably send them about 100 yards or so.